The Double Date. (Because it HAD to happen.)
Amy never understood the purpose of double dates. Throughout all her years of marriage she never understood other couples who would delight in the concept, "Ooooh! We should double date!" They would squeal. "We should..." Amy would nod in response with empty eyes, hoping that nothing would actually come of that. Why were other couples always so eager to hang out exclusively with another couple? Amy always suspected it had something to do with secretly proving which couple was the better one, which made her really hate the concept even more.
So when Jonah insisted on the double date, Amy cringed hoping he was just being theoretical. But apparently, nope. This...was, uh, happening. She sat in the car while Alex drove, silently praying this would be the shortest night of her life.
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Jonah didn't know WHAT he had been thinking. He kept glancing at his reflection in the side view mirror as Kelly drove to the restaurant singing happily along to the radio, oblivious to Jonah's cringing at his own reflection. Finally he sighed and tried to relax into the seat. He just hoped that seeing her happy with someone else would finally make all these other… feelings… go away.
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"So! Jonah and Kelly, how long have you two been together?" Alex settled the menu down on the table and beamed at the other couple.
"Uh,. Um.." Jonah started, "Several.. Months?" He looked at Kelly with an inquisitive look.
But Kelly looked back at him like he was a child who had forgotten to tie his shoelaces, "Sweetie, it's been 6 months and 3 weeks."
"Right!" Jonah nodded enthusiastically.
"Awesome," Alex nodded in return, "And, uh, you guys met at the store?"
"Yep, yep yep." Jonah keep nodding.
"Actually, " Kelly beamed excitedly, "It's a really funny story, you see, we were both on a dating app, but Amy took Jonah's phone and was pretending to be him on the app.. So here I am thinking I'm having this totally heartfelt convo with Jonah, but actually it was Amy!" Kelly erupted into giggles while Jonah smiled and shifted awkwardly in his chair.
"That's… well, kinda weird?" Alex looked at Amy confused.
Amy opened her mouth to say something but Kelly interjected, "No, no, no, it was hilarious! And it helped break the ice between us." Kelly smiled at Jonah and squeezed his shoulder.
"Ohh," Alex nodded and looked at Amy again, "So you like, helped get them together?"
"Uh-" Amy looked surprised by this but then nodded as well, "Yeah. Yeah I guess I did. You know me, a regular ol' matchmaker!"
"Oh yeah! Amy's always like, who can I hook up around here? Who can I set up?" Jonah joined in, and the two started overdoing it with the nervous laughter.
"Who needs to fall in love? Mama's gotta make herself a match!" Amy awkwardly continued.
Alex laughed at this and looked at Amy, "Really?! So who else have you set up?"
"Oh. uh," Amy faltered, "Well, not really.. Anyone.. Per say. But like, in general… sure.."
She trailed off.
The whole table fell silent.
Everyone shifted in their seats and fiddled with their menus. Alex cleared his throat, Jonah eyed him suspiciously. Amy thought about how appealing food poisoning sounded right about now.
"So,.. who wants margaritas?" Kelly finally piped up.
"Oh god yes." Nearly everyone responded.
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"And so, that's how Jonah surprised me on our 3 month anniversary." Kelly giggled after concluding her story.
"Uh, wow" Amy took a swig of margarita number 2, "I, uh, had no idea Jonah could be so… romantic." She wanted to die, that was the third story Kelly had told so far about Jonah, The Sweetest Boyfriend Ever.
"Well, yeah!" Jonah looked smug at Amy's response, "I'm a very romantic boyfriend" He announced proudly looking pointedly at Amy.
"Hey, good for you man!" Alex nodded oblivious to the look Jonah had just given Amy, "You gotta keep your chica happy, you know?"
"Hey, cheers to that man!" Jonah reached out his glass and clinked it to Alex's. "And, so, uh.. You…" He pointed at Alex while still holding his glass, "You! You better make this one happy, yeah?" He pointed at Amy, "Better make her.. Yep-" He cut himself off by taking a final swig of his margarita and placed the glass back on the table looking bewildered with himself.
Amy silently raised her eyebrows and finished off her drink as well.
"Well, that's easy when you've got a girl this sweet, huh?" Alex grinned and placed an arm around Amy.
Amy smiled awkwardly. "So, uh, where is that waiter?" She just wanted this dinner to be over.
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"And that, was our first date" Alex grinned concluding the story while Amy worked on margarita number 4.
"Oh that's sooo sweet" Kelly cooed.
"Uh yeah," Jonah coughed and pushed some food around his plate, "that's really sweet. Super sweet. Super nice that, uh, you two,.. You know, like, met and like, liked each other and then.. You know.. Started dating. Very super sweet." He was doing his nodding too fast for a normal human, thing.
Kelly beamed and nodded at the other couple while also giving Jonah a side eye, he was rambling a bit too much.
"Uh huh, it worked out nicely, with like, timing" Amy smiled sweetly at Alex, who grinned in return.
"Ah yes, timing!" Jonah leaned enthusiastically back in his chair, "Timing is really everything, they say."
"Oh, do 'they' say that?" Amy raised her eyes sarcastically at him.
"Yes, THEY do." Jonah nodded pointedly, "They say, it's ALL in the timing. The timing of the meeting. The timing of the liking."
"Well," Amy shrugged, "they also say, that if it's really meant to be with another person, timing doesn't matter, you just make it work."
"But what if you can't make it work because of the timing!?" Jonah suddenly snapped.
"You think me getting pregnant as a teenager was good timing? No, but we made it work!" Amy snapped back just as suddenly.
"Yeah and look how great THAT worked out for you!" Jonah snapped again. In response Kelly gasped slightly and Amy fumbled quietly with her napkin. Alex looked wide eyed and uncomfortable.
"No, uh, Amy.. no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, that… that wasn't.. I'm sorry.." Jonah softened and looked terribly ashamed.
"It's.. yeah.. No.. don't worry…" Amy tried to wave away all of Jonah's words. "It's fine." She finished lamely.
Just then the waiter came by with the check.
"Well,.. How's that for good timing?" Alex tried to joke, but only Kelly laughed.
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Amy finally smiled thinking about how the dinner was almost over. It had been awkward, but soon it would just be an awkward memory she could hope to forget. They were almost out of the woods, as they waited for the waiter to return with their credit cards, when Kelly had to open her adorable cute little mouth.
"So that was fun!" She declared, " and only a little awkward, considering…" She smiled both at Jonah and then Amy. Clearly she was trying to make a joke but Amy cringed and Jonah just stared wide eyed ahead of him.
"Considering? Considering what?" Alex looked confused while Amy started shaking her head while making a mental note to strangle Kelly at a later date.
"Well, it's silly, but Jonah use to have a crush on Amy and Amy used to have a crush on Jonah…" Kelly rolled her eyes like this was all the silliest nonsense anyone had ever heard of, "And they kissed, but that was forever ago, right guys? But the whole store saw the footage of it and well, it's been awkward between these two since then." Kelly motioned to both Jonah and Amy like they were a couple of mischievous kittens.
"Awkward? No, it's,... no…" Jonah stuttered.
"We've not been - No. We've been totally normal!" Amy shrugged, being overly casual.
"Hold up," Alex blinked as he tried to catch up, "You two use to like each other?"
"Oh, well .. barely" Amy waved her hands unnecessarily in front of her.
"Ancient history-" Jonah nodded, but then looked surprised at Amy, "wait...Barely?"
Amy looked uncomfortable, "Well, yeah.. I mean.. Yeah. JUST a crush." She looked at Alex to reassure him, "It was just a crush. In the past."
"Yeah, but we DID kiss!" Jonah insisted and looked pointedly at Alex, like Jonah was somehow winning a game. But Amy narrowed her eyes at Jonah, like he was the craziest person to ever exist.
"We.. uh, we did. But that was before even Jonah and Kelly were together." Amy responded in a measured voice while shooting Jonah a look.
"Yeah, and Amy was still married! She wasn't dating ANYONE back then." Jonah announced like he was making a really strong point.
Amy scrunched her nose and shrugged, "Well,.. Technically I was dating my husband…"
"But NOT me!" Jonah continued loudly, several margaritas buzzing through his system, "Never! Never did she date me. Nope! Not then. Not now. Because now there's is Kelly and I remember her name and we're moving in together and that's great. And Amy was married and now there is you." Jonah paused and pointed at Alex, "Congratulations Alex! It's you she is dating and not m-" Jonah caught himself awkwardly, "Not anyone else. Not a single other person. Which is great. This is great." He finished lamely while everyone else stared at him like they had just witnessed a car crash.
"And here you all go," The waiter suddenly appeared returning their credit cards in a bubble of positivity, "Hope you all have a great evening!"
"Great, great, great." Jonah echoed as the waiter walked away.
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