James Potter POV

The first time I ever saw Sirius black cry was during first year. I had known him since we were kids, us being pure blood and all. Thus we grew up as brothers despite our families hatred for us. I presume the only reason we kept contact with the black family was because they wanted me to marry Sirius's deranged cousin Bellatrix Black however now we are at Hogwarts and she is engaged thank Merlin. It was no secret to me that the blacks abused Sirius, we shared everything of course I knew.

It was the day after the sorting (we both made Gryffindor!) and Sirius got a howler, we were cringing at the noise it made, ringing through the silence of the great hall. Thousands of ears listening intently.

'Sirius Orion Black, you are a disgrace to wizards associating with half breeds and mudbloodsYou are the scum of the earth and a disgrace to the family. I will be contacting the school within the hour to have you moved to an acceptable house.

I told your father to hold you under longer those years ago but we couldn't risk regulus walking in.

After everything we do for you and this is how you repay us. I could have you and your blood traitor friends killed. You are lucky we didn't disown you.'

And so, the flames died and all that was left was ashes.

Sirius's face paled and though he kept externally calm he was trembling awfully. He ran.

And so did I. Seven staircases of me sprinting after him to the common room head whirling with worry for my near brother.

I found him shaking, curled on my bed, my night shirt clutched in his fingers. This was not unusual, we often would seek comfort in each other, last night we slept in my bed together, a tangle of hair and limbs.

"Siri, talk to me."

The voice was gentle, calm and loving. As it always was when Sirius was upset. He wouldn't stop shaking so I crawled beside him sharing wamth and care.

Third person POV

As the older boy slipped into bed the other responded instantly, turning to bury his head into the chest of his friend. James wrapped one arm around the boy curled into him while stroking the long hair with his other hand.

"Do you wanna talk about it."

He waited a while for the muffled response to come.

"I knew my parents would hate me. I just can't stand to be like them though, that's why I asked to be a Gryffindor, to go against the pure blood mania they were bestowing upon me, toujours pur and all that shit. I knew it would happen but it hurts. It hurts a lot James."

"I know Siri. I'm here though, I'll make it ok."

They basked in the silence for a while. Only broken by the steady breathing and occasional chocking sob let out by Sirius. After a while of this and just as James thought he may fall asleep, a thought struck him.

"Hey, Siri?"

"Mmhm?"

"The letter. It said "held you under" what did it mean?"

A sigh followed before a steadying breath.

" when I was about four my parents took me to a wood by our house. I swear we walked for at least an hour and the trees closed in before opening wide to a clearing. A canopy above blocked most of the light so you could see little more than the trees reflecting on a huge lake. I was young so understandably terrified but oddly entranced, I think it was magic or some shit. It put me in a literal trance. That was when my father muttered a spell and I lost my sense of self. He imperioused me Jamie. I was led by my mother to the lake as reggie wandered in the trees, my farther said to walk into this lake and lie face down, I had no choice. They made me stay until I blacked out, they probably thought I was gone. I woke up in the basement at grimmuld place and wasn't let out for about three days. No food. No light. No sleep. It's been worse mind."

By the time Sirius was done with his tale James was the one sobbing. Heavy and long ones that raked through his slender frame.

"Oh James please don't cry. I'm here aren't I? I'm here forever. Takes a lot more than that to get rid of me."

He chucked but James kept crying softly. Tears slipping down and some splashing in Sirius's hair.

"But you almost weren't. Oh my God Siri I can't lose you."

I love you.

But of course he couldn't say that.

The two boys stayed curled into each other in a peaceful slumber waking only briefly to accept the food that Remus and peter presented after dinner. Peter looking as if he was going to say something and Remus dragging him to the common room.

Throughout the years at Hogwarts this would be a frequent occurrence, one both boys would greatly miss in time to come.