"What happened to Gunnery Chief Williams after the Normandy was destroyed?" Shepard questioned, leaning his arms against the railing. Trying desperately to keep his voice even.

"Operations Chief Williams," Anderson said, stressing Ashley's rank. "is still with the Alliance, but she's working on a special mission, it's classified. I can't say any more. Not while you're working with Cerberus. Sorry." Everything he said was short and clipped.

Shepard stood straighter. Anderson was a long time friend of his, and he was expecting to get at least a few answers.

"Anderson, please." Shepard whispered, "I need to know something, anything."

"Everything is classified, Shepard. I can't,"

"Classified, or you won't tell me?" Shepard asked angrily. He turned from Anderson and glanced at Garrus and Miranda. They stood trying not to look too obvious of the fact they heard the rising of Shepard's voice and heated by were listening. Shepard walked a few paces toward the duo, and gestured them closer.

"Shepard?" Garrus asked.

"Wait for me by C-Sec, tell the crew to get out and enjoy themselves, my orders." Shepard said, glancing at Miranda, he added "You too, Miranda,"

"Shepard, I don't advise tha-"

"Don't make me order it." Shepard shook his head and frowned at her. She agreed reluctantly and stepped into the elevator behind her, where Garrus was already made sure that they left, he pressed the button himself in the elevator, when it was far enough down, he turned back to Anderson.

"Listen Shepard just because you made them leave-" He was cut off by the watery look in Shepard's eyes. And Shepard had a hard time dealing with the burn in his eyes the tell tale sign of his tears.

"I have been dead for two years. Two fucking years." Shepard says, his voice cracking. "My friends don't trust me, not really, no matter what they say, I know they're unnerved.I have to start over, but I have no clue where to start off!" Shepard threw his arms out, and angrily motioned with them. "I was brought back to do one thing! Investigate the human colony disappearances. To be quite freaking honest, I don't feel like a human anymore I have more robotic parts inside than a Geth, I'm more or less a walking experiment!" Shepard said, blinking his eyes several times. His chest heaved with everything he kept inside, and he just let it all spill. "I am not a human being but a tool," Shepard finished.

"Shepard, that's a lie and you know it!" Anderson says smoothly. He took Shepard's verbal confessional with the assurance of a councilor.

"It's true! I was brought back from the dead to fight, fighting is all I ever do." Shepard rubs his jaw, feeling the bumps of his scars. He should be dead, and it was obvious "I do everything I can, and I can't even get some information on my-" he stops himself dead. His what? Girlfriend, friend? What was Ash to him? Certainly not just some girl or just a friend, she was something more than that, someone special.

"I understand, Shepard, that you feel upset, and used, but you are the only one that can do this! You carry a heavy burden, that no one else could. You do it so no one else has to, that's what defines you!. You may be the only one that can keep this galaxy safe! And I know you, I know you very well, you can figure out a way to destroy any obstacle." Anderson assured.

Shepard grunted, and sat down in a chair across from Anderson's desk. Anderson took his place behind the desk, and took a seat..

"Shepard, you're working with Cerberus, and I know you want information on Williams, but I can't." Anderson held his hands together, looking very professional and trying to reassure Shepard with words.

"I'm not working for Cerberus!" Shepard said exasperated. I got more information on Ash through them than you!" Shepard said angrily. He felt like a child, being happy, angry, sad and having the cycle start all over again. It was just a few minutes ago that he and Anderson were talking like old friends, now they were arguing.

Happy to see Anderson, sad because it was obvious Anderson didn't trust him, and angry because he couldn't get anywhere with Anderson! It was like pulling the teeth of a child to try and finagle information from Anderson.

"Shepard, I.. I know it's frustrating, but you can't accuse me." Anderson said, holding his hands in surrender.

There was a long silence. Shepard felt angry but he felt a pang of something else. He knew he couldn't stay mad at his friend because he was doing his job! If information was classified, that means it was classified, and Shepard should have known better than to pressure Anderson into breaking the rules. But he couldn't help it! He needed to know that Ashley was doing okay, he tried to find a way to contact her, but every time he did he would be reprimanded by the Illusive Man! It felt when he took one step forward he took four steps back. To state it in the least words, Shepard felt stuck.

"I know," Shepard paused, "and i'm sorry." Shepard soon felt an immense guilt. Anderson, was a very close friend, one that he could count on, and he snapped at him. Then the pain of not being able to tell him about Ashley, and just exactly why he wanted to know what she was up to.

"I," Shepard pauses while he thought. He needed to tell him about Ash, needed Anderson to know the truth. "There's a very specific reason, I want to know about Ashley, Anderson." Shepard starts. Anderson frowns and asks why.

"I... well... during the fight against Saren..." Shepard gulps, here goes the cold water. Anderson encouraged him with words, "We became close, very close." Anderson seems confused for a moment, then his eyes flash in understanding.

"Shepard.." Anderson said lowly. "You know that's against the regs."

"I know," Shepard felt his throat dry and he frowned. "I just, as you can see, my predicament is..." Shepard trailed off. "Well, I just want to talk to her, email her, something. Anything is better than nothing." Shepard pleaded.

Anderson leaned back in his chair, thinking over his options.

"Shepard, you put me at a very hard cross roads, and there isn't much I can do." there was a long pause before Anderson said something more. "But, I understand what it's like, here, I know it isn't much but, at least you can try, right?" Typing on his Omni-Tool, Anderson gives a soft smile. Seconds later, Shepard receives a message on his Omni-Tool.

"Anderson!" Shepard smiled and jumped up, "You are a great, great man!" Shepard shook his hand and walked out of the office with a smile.

They were on their way to Horizon, Shepard was typing up his email. Hopefully, she would get it immediately, he smiled as he clicked send, and leaned back in his chair, gazing at the picture on his desk. It was just after the Battle of the Citadel. The frame cycled through all the pictures on it, but Shepard paused it on Ashley's while writing the email. He even spoke aloud to it, as if she were really there. He wanted so desperately to just explain himself in person. Hopefully he'll be able to do that.

"We're an hour out, Commander," Joker's voice broke the comfortable silence.

"Got it," Shepard stood, smiling at the photo. He could stay there all day and just reminisce but he had work to do and had to get suited up.

A/N- Well it's been a bit, but I had some minor surgery done and I was "bed-ridden" for a few days (It was a joke, I didn't stay in bed at all. I'm a terrible patient...) So, I requested the royal laptop and typed this up in my boredom. Lately I have been playing some other games and just saying... If you ever have a chance to play The Last of Us do it... It's an incredible game and probably one of the best games I've played this year, Part two will be up soon, but I've rewritten the chapter twice already and I still don't like it very much, so make I'll probably make it three soon...