I want to dedicate this to Cam, because I never would've started shipping Stary if it wasn't for her and her rockin' pengis. Maybe one day I'll write a full length story about these gays.
Gary sat tapping his pencil absentmindedly against his desk, waiting for the final bell of the day to ring. He couldn't wait for school to end and the weekend to begin, he had piles homework he needed to complete before going back on Monday and he needed to get a head start on them. When the bell rang he was instantly up, stepping out into the high school hallway, trying to avoid the masses of people.
He made a bee-line for his locker and opened it, grabbing the multitude of textbooks from inside. Gary slung his brown backpack over his shoulder and closed his locker, turning to leave. He started to weave his way through the crowd of people when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and was face to face with Stan Marsh.
Stan and Gary had a weird friendship. After Gary had told Stan he had a lot of growing up to do in the fourth grade, Stan had grown up. Then he had apologized to Gary for thinking his religion was crazy and they had become somewhat friends.
Gary, of course, wanted to be Stan's friend because he wanted to get along with everyone. He had found it hard to make friends in South Park because everyone thought he was crazy for some reason. Just because he had four siblings, ate jello desserts almost everyday, and never swore didn't make him weird, it made him normal. Everyone else in the town was weird.
Gary smiled, "Hey Stan, what's up?"
Stan looked at him, "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out." He had his hands in his pockets and Gary couldn't help but look at the wisps of black hair that stuck of from under his hat.
"Sure, but I need to go home and get started on my homework." Gary motioned to his backpack.
"That's cool dude, just let me know when you're going to come over." Stan smiled and then left.
Gary watched him walk away. He wondered if Stan had invited then other guys to hang out with them. He hoped that, if he had, he hadn't invited Eric Cartman. There was no one Gary disliked more than that jerk. The few times he'd been forced to spend time with him had been the worst moments of his life. Eric's never ending strings of profanity and just his overall rudeness was enough to annoy any one though.
The other guy Stan hung out with was quiet, Gary always forgot his name. He had never hung out with him or Cartman without Stan around. All he knew about the other kid is he wore an orange jacket and usually only opened his mouth to make a dirty joke. He was alright though.
Gary turned and returned on his original course to the parking lot. When he got to his car he threw his bag in the passenger seat. He needed to go pick up his little siblings, Dave and Amanda, before he went home and really focused on his homework for a few hours. Taking all honors and AP classes was hard, but he wanted to graduate with college credit so he wasn't a financial burden on his parents. They had already done so much for him.
Despite being swamped in homework, he was actually kind of excited to hang out with Stan later. He liked spending time with Stan, even if they didn't share the same beliefs or values. Stan was interesting to Gary, he was unlike any other person he had met. Gary was really looking forward to hanging out with Stan, he had been on his mind a lot lately.
After Stan had invited Gary to hang out he walked out of the school and up to Kenny and Cartman. "I invited him over and he said he'd come." He stated, his hands in his pockets.
Kenny turned to him and grinned, "Step one's complete, now get into his pants." He snickered.
Stan shook his head, "He's too straight for that."
Kenny let out a sigh, "Well, at least this is one step closer to getting in his pants." He pointed out.
Cartman let out a laugh, "Fags."
Stan just shook his head again. "What are you guys doing tonight?" He asked them.
Kenny and Cartman exchanged glances. "Were hanging out with Kyle." Cartman explained.
Stan almost cringed at hearing his name. A year or so ago Stan and Kyle had fallen in love, it was a beautiful love too. They were so close that Stan figured nothing could go wrong with them dating, but he was wrong. When their relationship had came to an almost inevitable end a few months ago Stan realized what a fucking idiot he had been.
Breaking up with Kyle made it so they could never be friends again and the worst part was that Cartman and Kenny were stuck in the middle of it all. They didn't want to hurt Kyle or Stan so they tried to stay out of their way, hanging out with each of the occasionally. Stan couldn't help but feel a little sad every time someone mentioned Kyle, they were best friends for sixteen years for fucks sake. It was hard to just move on past that. They thought that they had lost their friendship hurt Stan a lot more than losing the relationship. It was almost enough to make him sick, but he pushed the thoughts out of his brain. Kyle wasn't important anymore, now he needed to focus on Gary.
Stan forced a smile, "You guys have fun." He told Kenny and Cartman, trying not to make his voice sound too strained.
"You have fun with Gary, but not too much fun." Kenny winked and then him and Cartman burst out laughing.
Stan just rolled his eyes, "Okay, well I gotta get going." He left the pair laughing and walked out to his car in the parking lot. It was an old dinged up piece of shit, but it still got him from place to place just fine.
As he drove home he thought about what to do when Gary actually got to his house. All he knew is he wanted to keep his dad as for away as possible because he didn't want him to freak Gary out.
Despite them being friends they rarely hung out and they had never hung out alone before. Stan wondered if Gary would think that was weird. Last time they had hung out alone they had gotten into some weird deep talk about religion during which Gary confined in Stan he thought some aspects of Mormonism were a little weird. When Stan had asked him what they were Gary had closed back up on the topic.
Stan got home and stepped out of his car, not bothering to grab his backpack. He figured that there was always tomorrow to do his homework, he had the whole weekend anyways.
He walked inside and his mom was sitting on the couch reading. She always took Friday's off and today was no exception. "How was school, Stanley?" She asked, setting her book down in her lap.
Stan shrugged, "It was fine." He replied, "I invited a friend over." He put his hands in his pockets.
Sharon raised her eyebrows, "A friend?" She questioned.
"Yeah, you remember Gary, right?" Stan asked, "It's him."
Sharon nodded, "Well you two have fun when he comes over."
"Mom can you keep dad away from us when he gets home?" Stan asked. He definitely didn't want his dad fucking any of this up. Even if he couldn't get into Gary's pants he still wanted to spend time with him and, well, his dad had a way of fucking shit up.
Sharon laughed, "I'll try my best, but no promises I can kept him away."
Stan smiled, "Thanks mom." He turned and headed up the stairs to his room. When he got in his room he took off his hat and ran his hands through his hair, it was messy as usual. Stan didn't see the point in brushing his hair if it was just going to be hidden under a hat all day. He put back on his hat and glanced around his room.
He wanted everything to be perfect for Gary. To Stan, Gary was basically perfect in every way. He was nice to a fault, smart, and handsome. He smiled just thinking about him.
Stan really didn't want to scare Gary away. He glanced around the room and noticed a Blood on the Dance Floor poster on his wall from his middle school days of only listening to emo bands. He had never paid much attention to it but the poster stuck out like a sore thumb now. He tore it off the wall and threw it in the trash. Once the poster was gone he felt like the room had been improved.
Stan looked around his room one last time. He didn't want any surprise emo band posters popping up anywhere else.
Everything looked good to go. Stan was still nervous though, but he didn't think he had a reason to be. He knew the chances of him actually acting on his feelings for Gary was slim to nothing. Even if he did act on them he knew Gary could never recuperate his feelings, it went against everything he believed. Fucking Mormons.
Stan sat down on his bed, all that was left to do was wait.
Gary finished enough of his homework to satisfy himself. He still had the rest of the weekend to finish it up. He walked out of his room and then downstairs. His mom was sitting on the couch with his little brother. "Mom, I'm going over to Stan's house." He told her.
His mother smiled and stood up to kiss him on the cheek. "Okay, don't be out too late." She told him.
Gary smiled, "I won't mom." He walked out to his car. The air was chilly but it wasn't too bad for an early December day. The snow crunched under his feet as he walked to his car. When he got inside of it he was happy to turn on the heat. As he drove to Stan's house he wondered more and more about why Stan had invited him over. He just seemed like Stan would've rather been hanging out with anyone else.
When Gary got there he hopped up the front porch steps and knocked on the front door. Stan answered seconds later, he was smiling. Gary smiled back, "Hey Stan."
"Hey Gary." Stan stepped aside and let Gary into his warm house. Gary slipped off his coat and hung it on one of the hooks near the door. Under his coat he was wearing a simple blue button up shirt, he felt like he almost wore the same thing everyday.
Gary looked at Stan, "Is anyone else coming?" He asked. He was curious, he liked spending time with Stan alone, but he wouldn't be heartbroken if other people were going to join them.
Stan shook his head, "Nope. Just us."
Gary smiled, "That's great." He said.
Stan nodded, "So, do you want to play video games or something?" He asked.
Gary nodded and they ended up playing Mario Kart. It turned out that Gary had better skills than he thought. He'd beaten Stan in almost every race they'd played. Eventually Gary felt bad and had let Stan win a few races.
Gary inched closer to Stan on the couch, until they were practically touching. Gary laughed as Stan complained about always coming in second place to him. Gary couldn't let him win too many races, he still had to best driver.
Mrs. Marsh walked into the room and watched as Stan came in second to Gary in another race. "Do you boys want some pizza?" She asked them.
Stan and Gary glanced at each other, forming a mutual agreement with their eyes. "Yeah, Mom." Stan replied.
"What kind do you want?" She asked them.
"What do you like on your pizza?" Stan asked, turning his head towards Gary.
"My favorite is Hawaiian, but if you don't like that then we can get something else." Gary had never understood why so many people had an opposition to pineapple on their pizza, but did know most people didn't like it.
Stan shrugged, "Hawaiian is fine." He informed his mom. She nodded and then left the room.
They played a few more rounds of Mario Kart and then the pizza got there. When it arrived Stan's mom paid and Stan suggested him and Gary go up to his room to eat it. Gary followed Stan up the stairs to his room.
Stan's walls were still purple, there was a significant lack of posters since last time Gary had been in his room though. He still had his broncos lamp sitting on his nightstand, it really hadn't changed much over the years. Gary and Stan sat on the bed and put the pizza between them, each grabbing a slice. Gary took a bite and smiled, it was a darn good pizza, if he did say so himself.
After the first bite Stan looked at Gary, "So, dude, I wanted to ask you something."
Gary looked up and met Stan's blue eyes, "Alright, what is it?" He questioned, curious to know.
"Well, the other day you said you had some doubts about your religion. I was just wondering if you wanted to share them now."
"Oh gosh, isn't this a little heavy of a topic to talk about over dinner?" Gary asked, taking another bite of pizza.
Stan laughed nervously, worried he had crossed a line, "Sorry I-"
"No, Stan. It's just not as simple as you think." Gary looked down at the pizza in his hand, the toppings were beginning to slip. He suddenly let out a light laugh, "Well actually, you'd probably understand it better than most people."
Stan stopped the slice of pizza halfway to his mouth and stared at Gary for a moment. "How come?"
Gary was silent for a moment. "I've never told anyone this," he sounded reluctant. He returned his half eaten pizza slice to the box and then looked at Stan.
"If it's a secret, it's safe with me." Stan stated, taking another bite of his pizza.
Gary took a deep breath, "I've never vocalized this to anyone," he looked at Stan and then looked away, "I don't think I'm a hundred percent straight." He admitted. He knew he wasn't straight, but he couldn't say it. Gary wanted to be straight and normal and get married in the temple and have lots of kids. If he was gay he couldn't do that. If he was gay he was going against everything him and his family believed in.
Stan just stared at him. He couldn't believe it. He had seen, with his own eyes, Gary go to prom with Annie just earlier this year. Stan figured it must've just been a cover. Then he realized that if Gary didn't think he was straight it meant they might actually have a chance together, his heart fluttered. Then he looked at Gary again, his head was resting in his hands. "Wow... dude..." Stan trailed off, he had no idea what to say.
"Stan," Gary turned to him, "I can't be like this. It means something's wrong with me. I can't talk to anyone else about it though." The fact that he had been hiding it for some many years was eating him alive. If felt good to finally tell someone, but it also made him feel guilty.
Stan didn't know how to help him. When he had realized he was bi he just rolled with it. He didn't understand what it was like to be condemned by a religion because last time he went to church was ages ago, Gary was still active, he went every Sunday. "Well how do you know you're gay?" Stan asked him, trying to break the tension.
Gary thought about it for a moment. He remembered the moment he realized he was into guys, definitely. It was when Stan's friend, the one who always had his face hidden under an orange hood, had taken off his hood and revealed his beautiful face. Of course later Gary realized he was kind of rude and he could never remember his name anyways.
Then Gary thought about his first actual crush. He was sitting right next to him. Stan was strangely attractive to Gary despite their personalities being complete opposites and their beliefs and values being hardly similar. He didn't know how to convey this all to Stan without sounding weird so he just shrugged, "I guess I've just always known."
"There isn't like something specific?" Stan asked, "I still remember when I realized I was bi."
"How did you realize?" Gary asked.
"Well it was in ninth grade at a party. We were playing truth or dare and I got dared to kiss Kyle and so I did, and I definitely felt something so I just decided I was bi." Stan shrugged nonchalantly. The mention of Kyle's name still made him cringe slightly, but it wasn't as bad as before.
Gary looked down and then grabbed his slice of pizza, finishing it. Stan just watched him eat, not knowing what to say. "So you're saying that you felt something for Kyle when you kissed him?"
"Yeah." Stan answered simply, "I just kind of knew."
Gary looked at him for a moment. He had never kissed anyone before, so how was he supposed to know what he was into? He remembered when Annie had tried to kiss him at Homecoming and he had skillfully avoided it because kissing her just wouldn't seem right. He only asked her to the dance to make his mom get off his back about finding a girlfriend. Gary frowned, if he didn't want to kiss her he realized he probably wasn't into girls at all.
"This is so wrong, Stan." Gary said suddenly in an exasperated tone. "How am I supposed to continue living a lie like this?"
"Gary, it's alright if you're into guys." Stan assured him, "I'm sure god will understand. Besides, god made you and it's not like he made a mistake, right?"
Gary sighed and shook his head, "It's not god I'm worried about. It's everything else: the stigma, the hatred, my friends... my family. My family will disown me."
"Oh." Stan didn't know what to say again. "You can't hide from them forever."
"I know." Gary looked at him, "But I keep hoping there's a chance that I'll like girls."
Stan shook his head, "Have you ever had a crush on a girl? I mean, you're seventeen it would've happened by now." He pointed out matter of factly.
"No... but I have had a crush on a guy." Gary admitted, he smiled slightly.
Stan smiled back, "That's gay."
Gary couldn't help but laugh.
"Who's the guy?" Stan asked, looking at him intently.
"Well..." Gary trailed off as he stared at Stan. He was conflicted, he wanted Stan to know they he liked him. He wanted Stan to help him feel okay about liking guys and he there for him if everyone else turned against him. "He's a really sweet guy. He's on the football team and has dark hair and blue eyes." His eyed were locked with Stan's blue ones. "I could get lost in those eyes, they're like an ocean."
Stan smiled slightly and scooted closer to Gary, cupping his cheek with one of his hands. "Well I know a certain dark haired, blue eyed football player that has really taken a liking to a blonde Mormon."
Gray laughed and Stan's face flushed. "I just realized how awkward that was of me." Stan commented.
"No, it was sweet." Gary assured him. Their faces were just inches apart now. Gary could feel Stan's breath. He let his eyes close as he leaned in to fill the gap between them, but before he could he pulled away. "Stan, we shouldn't do this." He mumbled softly.
Stan ran a thumb over Gary's lips, "It'll all be okay, Gary." He replied, his voice barely above a whisper.
Gary looked down at Stan's lips before looking back up into his eyes. They had comfort to them, a warm kind of comfort. This time Gary closed the gap. Stan ran his hand through Gary's golden hair as he pulled him closer.
Gary wasn't sure what to do with his arms so he slipped them around Stan's neck to hold him close. What started as a gentle kiss slowly evolved into something deep and passionate.
Stan slowly moved his hands from Gary's hair to his waist. Gary couldn't believe this was happening. It felt so good, so right, he didn't want it to end. He sighed softly into the kiss as he realized he was most definitely gay. Most definitely gay and most definitely feeling something for Stan.
After a few minutes Stan pulled away and Gary was left in a daze, unable to open his eyes for the moments afterwards. Stan brushed his hair out of Gary's face as he slowly opened his eyes. "Wow." Gary mumbled, looking into Stan's eyes. "I'm really gay."
Stan let out a soft laugh and smiled, "I'm really glad that you're really gay." He replied.
Gary smiled and looked down, grabbing Stan's hand and intertwining their fingers. "I'm still scared." He admitted.
"I'll be here for you." Stan promised, kissing him again softly.
Gary smiled and rubbed his thumb on Stan's hand. "I'd like that a lot."
"I really want this to work." Stan stated, "And Gary, I'd be willing to do anything to make that happen."
"I would too, Stan." Gary looked away. "I've known you for a long time and you don't ever seem happy and I want you to happy. I want to be part of that happiness with you."
Stan shook his head, "I can't believe you've actually pay attention to things like that."
Gary frowned, "Why wouldn't I? I care about you, I want you to be happy."
Stan smiled and looked down at their intertwined hands. "It's been a long time since anyone's said that to me."
"I'll tell you it everyday." Gary assured him.
Stan pulled him into a tight hug. "Thanks, dude."
Gary smiled and hugged him back, "Anything for you, Stan." He glanced at the clock on Stan's night stand while still in the embrace, "I need to get going, my parents will be upset if I stay out late."
Stan released him from the hug and looked at him. "Okay." He stood and grabbed Gary's hand. They walked down the stairs hand in hand and out to Gary's car. When they got there they hugged again.
"Stan, I'm still worried about all this." Gary confessed.
Stan looked at him, "I promise you everything will be okay. I was scared when I first discovered I was bi, but it all worked out in the end."
Gary smiled slightly, "I'm happy that you'll be around to give me advice about accepting your sexuality even if it conflicts with religious beliefs."
"And in exchange you can give me advice on how to be optimistic and love my family." Stan replied with a laugh.
Gary smiled, "You just smile and say I love you."
"Hey, Gary?"
"Yes?"
Stan smiled, "I love you."
Gary felt his heart flutter. No one outside of his family had ever told him that they loved him. This was a different type of love, it was a a real love. The kind of love he read books about and saw in the movies, the kind that made people do crazy things. He never thought this kind of love would happen to him and he definitely never pictured falling head over heels for a boy. At that moment Gary knew that this was going to be something beautiful.
Gary stepped forward and planted a kiss on Stan's cheek. "I love you too." He said, and he really meant it.