Losing a Life Line, a wrestling fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Jeff Hardy(if I did I'd be too busy with him to write this...) Matt Hardy, Shannon Moore or any other real people I mention in this story. I only own my original characters. Also, this story is as real as Pam Andersons breast(Aka, I made this shit up.)

Warnings: This story involves, abuse, drugs, alcohol, sex and bad language. If that sort of thing offends you, do not read. Simple.

This story is going to be in the point of veiw of Alanna Black and Jeff Hardy. Maybe some others, but mainly them. Alanna is 17 and a senior in highschool. She lives next door to Jeff and Matt Hardy and across the street from Shannon Moore. You'll have to read to find out more(;

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I ran through my yard as fast as I could, the mud squishing between my toes with every step. I could barely see in the dark night, the rain whipping cold and harsh into my face. I instantly felt a little safer as I stepped onto the lawn next door, running straight to the back and onto the porch. Carfuly, I climbed up onto the railing and pulled myself onto the low roof. I slowly walked up to the window, already open and waiting, and climbed in. This routine was something that was way too familiar and comforting, yet it was somehow different tonite. He sat up in his bed and pulled the headphones out of his ears. His blue and blonde hair was pulled back into a bun, but loose strands still fell into his face.

"Lanna," There was some sort of relief in his voice. "Your eye." He got up and walked the few steps towards me. I looked down. He gently touched my swollen left eye, I winced.

"Ouch. Don't touch it, Jeff." I walked over and sat on the bed.

"I can't believe he actualy hit you." He shut his eyes and shook his head, trying to calm himself down.

"It wasn't that bad." I lied. He shook his head again and sat down next to me.

"You're soaking wet." I shrugged. He sighed and picked a towel up off the floor and threw it at me. "I'll get you some dry clothes."

"Jeff, I'm fine."

"Alanna, please don't argue. I don't want you to be cold." Jeff had been my best friend since I was seven and he was nine. Everytime I needed a shoulder to cry on he was the first person I ran to. He was like my safe place, always trying to protect me from the pain outside of his strong, loving arms. He threw a pair of sweats and a muscle shirt at me.

"Thanks." I walked down the hall to the bathroom. Jeff's brother, Matt, was just walking out.

"Alanna."

"Hey." He looked down at me for a second. I could tell he wanted to say something about my eye, but he kept his mouth shut.

"If you need me, you know where my room is." He kissed my cheek and went to his room. We both knew that I wouldn't need him as long as I had Jeff. I had known Matt just as long as Jeff. I played all the same games with Matt when I was little. I loved Matt like a brother, but Jeff and I had always been closer. We just clicked and got each other. I changed and went back to Jeff's room. He was sitting on his bed, face in his hands. He looked up at me, and his frown deepend. I threw my wet clothes on the floor and sat down next to him. He wrapped his arm around me and I shivered when his warm skin contacted with my freezing skin.

"You want a sweat shirt?" He asked, laying his head ontop of mine.

"No." He was keeping me warm enough. He sighed, I knew he wished I would stop trying to be fearless and just let him take care of me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I knew he wanted to talk about it. I didn't want to fuel his anger right now. My dad had never actualy hit me, just yelled at me and made me feel worthless. A few times he had pushed me or slapped me when he was drunk, but I knew this was pushing Jeff over the edge. If I told him the whole story right now while the shock and anger was fresh, he would most likely get himself in trouble. I shook my head.

"I'm too tired. I just want to forget about it right now." He kissed the top of my head and fell back on the bed, taking me with him. I layed next to him and curled into his side, serching for comfort and warmth. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. I buried my head into his chest and took in the familuar scent of his shampoo and body. Even though we were just friends, and had never even discussed being more, I couldn't imagine anything better than this. Someone who loved me and would do anything to make me happy, holding me and protecting me from the harsh reality of the unfair world. I would stay in his arms for weeks if I could.

"Want me to sing you to sleep?" Why he even asked any more was beyond me. Almost every night for the past two years I had come to the safe haven of Jeff's bed room, and every nite he would sing me to sleep.

"Yea." I told him with a yawn. He squeezed me tighter and started singing 'Black' by Pearl Jam softly. He had a beautiful voice and I was asleep before the end of the song.

Jeff's POV

I layed there holding my best friend as she slept peacfuly. I looked down and smiled at her. She was always so beautiful when she slept. The sheild that she wore all day was gone, she looked so vulnerable. I briefly wondered if she had any idea how much these nights ment as much to me as they did to her. Maybe more. I would stay like this forever if I could. She was the only person that had ever meant this much to me. I wished I could take all the pain she felt and make it my own so she would never have to deal with it again. I moved a piece of hair out of her face. She winced a little when I accidently touched her eye. I sighed. Her dad was the sheriff of the town. Even if we tried to tell someone, we would probly just get laughed at. I kissed her forehead softly and layed back. My mind started drifting, thinking about the day before. My hand instantly flew to my left arm, without thinking. I ran my finger over the scab. I closed my eyes and I could feel the needle going in again, the belt around my upper arm. It wasn't something I ever planned on doing again. Mainly because it was something I had to keep from Alanna, and keeping a secret from her didn't feel right. I wished I could remember the feeling more clearly. The numb feeling. The feeling of no pain. All I could remember thinking was how great it was. How I wished it could be that way all the time. Not just for me, but for Lanna. Latly, I had been so stressed. I was in my last year of high school, and so caught up in what my dad expected me to be, what I wanted to be, and what Lanna needed me to be. I needed to figure out a different way to get rid of the stress because Alanna would be pissed if she found out. My door slowly creeked open, stopping my train of thought. Matt stepped in.

"Hey, is she okay?" I looked over at the sleeping girl next to me.

"I don't know. She didn't wanna talk about it." I whispered. "She better be or someone's gonna have hell to pay." She shifted a little in her sleep and put her arm over my stomache. I kissed her cheek and smiled at her.

"When are you gonna tell her?"

"Tell her what?" I acted like I had no clue what he was talking about.

"Tell her that you're in love with her."

"I'm not." I heard him sit down in the bean bag chair across the room. I hated the thing, but Lanna's dad wouldn't let her keep it and she loved it.

"You're not in love with her or you're not gonna tell her?" I thought for a second. He knew very well how I felt about her. He was the only person I had ever told, though most people could probly tell without me saying a word. Shannon sure as hell could.

"I'm not gonna tell her." He sighed.

"Why not?"

"Matt, let's not do this right now."

"Why not?" He repeated.

"The'res a million reasons why I'm not gonna say anything. But for starters, she's with Shannon." He stood up and started walking for the door.

"She wants to be with you." He mummbled.

"Why would you even think that?"

"Jeff, if she didn't want to be with you she would be at Shan's right now. It's not like he lives any farther away. If she wasn't in love with you, she'd be at his place every night, in his bed, in his arms."

"We're jus-"

"I know, I know. You're just friends. But do you really think that the only reason she feels so safe with you is because you're such a good friend?" He didn't let me answer, he just walked out and shut the door. I looked over at her. The idea that this beautiful girl could be in love with me was almost comical. She had long black hair, with hot pink bangs that made her already icy blue eyes, even more breath taking. She had naturaly full red lips and a body that movie stars would kill for. She had a better personality than anyone I had ever known. She could make me laugh on the worst days and she was always up for anything. She was never afraid to be herself and that's what I loved most about her. The thought that she could have feelings for a fuck up like me was insane. She started mumbling in her sleep.

"Stop...please." She started kicking and trying to push the covers off of her and I knew she was having another bad dream. This was about the 8th in the past two weeks.

"Lanna." I whispered and shook her a little. She just kept jerking around and crying. I didn't want her to wake up my dad. We had kept her staying here a secret for two years and he never suspected a thing. "Alanna. Wake up sweetheart. You're having another nightmare." She sat up, a low gasp escaping her lips. She put her hand over her heart and breathed deeply for a moment. She looked back at me and I realized she had been crying.

"Lanna," I sat up. "What's wrong? What was the dream about?" She threw her arms around me and burried her face in my shoulder.

"Jeff." She cried.

"It's okay. It was just a dream. Do you wanna tell me about it?" She sniffed and tightend her arms around me.

"I dreamt that...I woke up and...and you were...gone." She murmmured between sobs. "You went to go talk to my dad. And...and he kept hitting you...and you were...were bleeding. And I tried to stop him. But he just kept hitting you. Until...until you stopped moving." She started sobbing even more and she pulled herself closer to me.

"Aww, Lanna." I kissed the side of her head and stroked her hair. "Lanna, it was just a dream. I'm right here, I'm not goin' any where, sweetie." I pulled away from her and wipped the tears from under her eyes, being more gental on the left.

"Promise?" She looked up at me with scared eyes and it felt like someone was digging their nails into my heart.

"I promise, Lanna. I would never leave you." She hugged me angain.

"I love you, Jeffy." I knew she meant it in a friend way, but my heart still started beating faster.

"I love you too, Lanny." Lanny was the nick name I used to call her when we were real little, when she used to call me Jeffy. I felt her smile.

"Sorry, go back to sleep now." I didn't want to tell her that I wasn't asleep. That it was almost impossibal to sleep when the most beautiful girl in the world was laying next to you and your brother was filling your head with false hope. She layed back down and curled into a ball. I fell back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Jeff?" The way she whispered my name sent so many feelings jolting threw my body.

"Yea?" She rolled over to face me and wrapped her arm around me.

"Keep me warm." I smiled and pulled her into me. Her hair smelt like strawberries and I took it in as I fell asleep.

Alanna's POV

"Lanna. Wake up, sweetie." Jeff whispered in my ear, shaking me a little. His smooth southern draw had woke me up hundreds of times before but I never got sick of it. I groaned and opened my eyes.

"Oww." I whined, as my eye protested. I felt his hands flutter to my face.

"Look at me." He held my face in his hands as I looked up at him. I winced at the slight throb. "I should have put ice on it. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault my dad's a dumb ass." I sat up and yawned.

"Wanna tell me what happend?"

"Not really." He crawled over to me on the bed.

"Lanna..." His voice was full of disaproval. He didn't like me keeping things in. He wanted me to talk about everything.

"What?" I glared at him.

"Talk." I pouted but he wasn't giving in. He just kept glaring. I huffed.

"Sometimes I think you just like to hear my voice." He smiled.

"Maybe I do." I rolled my eyes. I put my head on his shoulder and sighed. I ran threw the night before, trying to decide what he needed to know, and what would just piss him off.

"I don't know what set him off this time. I was just watching TV and he came down stairs yelling about how I can't ever do anything right." I clenched my jaw as I remembered him yelling how I was 'just like that worthless piece of shit Jeff.' I left that part out because I didn't need him thinking any less of himself than he already did. "I stood up to walk away and he pushed me back down." I took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears. Jeff rubbed soothing circles on my back. "He started yelling some more about how he wishes I was never born." His movments stopped for a moment and I felt him tense. I looked up at him and he went back to rubbing the comforting circles. "He asked me what I planned on doing with my life. Before I could answer, he just, he punched me and started screaming at the top of his lungs. That's when I ran over here." He layed his head ontop of mine and sighed.

"That's all?" I didn't know if I should tell him. I knew he was stressed, and I never made that any better. He didn't seem to mind the stress and annoyance I caused, but I still felt guilty sometimes. Like if I didn't need him so much he'd have a much easier, much better life. I guess I had to tell him though. It kind of included him too.

"Well, he did say something else that kinda stuck with me."

"What's that?" He murmmured into my hair. I sighed.

"He said, and he sounded serious, that if I didn't stop hanging out with you..." I paused. The thought of not seeing Jeff was hard to wrap my head around and I didn't want to think about it in the first place. Jeff was my life line.

"What?" He pressed, but he sounded like he wasn't sure if he truly wanted to know.

"That we would move back to New York and I would never see you again." I whispered. He pulled me into his chest and stroked my hair.

"You know that I would never let that happen. If he even packs one box, me and you, we're outa here and he'll be the one that'll never see you again." I rolled my eyes. Jeff always had some plan in his head about me and him just taking all the money he had saved up and running away. Going to some random place, like Ohio or Arizona. How it would just be me and him and noone would ever hurt me again. Honestly, it sounded like absolute hevean and I wished I could. I would have taken him up on the offer by now if it wasn't for my little brother, Derek. He was only five, and so innocent. My older sister, Jaymi, had left me to deal with our father alone. I could never do that to Derek. I would never leave him like that.

"Jeff, you know I would love that." He sighed.

"We'll take Derek with us." I smiled into his chest.

"I may have to take you up on that offer." I felt him smirk. We both knew that idea would never work with Derek. He was so little, my dad would surly try to find him. And it's not like we really knew how to raise a five year old. He kissed the top of my head and sighed.

"We'll have to discuss this later. I hear my dads alarm. You gonna come over for breakfast?" I shrugged.

"I ain't goin' home for breakfast." Not like I was actualy aloud to eat what I wanted at 'home' anyway.

"Alright. You know how this works. I'm gonna get in the shower." He got up and walked for the door.

"Actualy, I do need to go home to get clothes and stuff for school." He frowned.

"I don't like you going there alone. Just wait until I'm done in the shower and I'll go with you."

"Because he'll be so happy to see you." I said sarcasticly.

"Please don't go alone." He was almost begging. I sighed.

"I'll have Shan go with me." He crinckled his nose for a second then stuck out his pierced lip and nodded. For some reason, my dad loved Shannon. He always asked me why a good kid like Shannon would wanna be with a fuck up like me. I never had an answer for that.

"Okay. Just be carful. Avoid him if you can." He kissed my cheek and walked out. I sat there for a few seconds. I got up and pulled Jeff's cell off the charger. I scrolled down through the contacts and dialed 'Prince of Punk.' It rang five times.

"What the hell do you want at 6:30 in the mornin'?" His voice was thick with sleep.

"Sorry, Babe."

"Oh, Alanna." He sounded more awake now. "Sorry sweetheart. I thought you were Jeff." I laughed once.

"It's alright, Shan. But, I do need to ask a favor. I mean you don't have to, bu..."

"Lanna, you know I'll do whatever you need." He cut me off. I sat down in my black bean bag that I kept in Jeff's room.

"I know. I need you to go over to my place with me to get clothes and stuff for school. Me and Greg had a really big fight last night." He sighed.

"I'm sorry, hunny. Yea, of course I'll go with you. Just give me a minute to get dressed."

"Okay."

"Meet me in their back yard in five, okay?"

"Yupp." I hung up and set the phone on Jeff's desk. I walked over to the table by the bed and picked up Jeff's brush, laughing at all the colors of hair in it. I shook my head and cleaned them out before pulling it threw my hair, trying to get all the knots out. I picked up a hoodie off the floor and put it on, taking in the scent of axe and ciggerettes. I sighed, I wished Jeff would give up the cancer sticks. I walked over to the window and peeked out. Shan was just closing the gate and walking to the house. I opend the window and climbed out. I didn't realize it was raining slightly until the cool drops hit my face. I pulled up the hood to block them out, and keep Shan from seeing my eye as long as possibal. I walked to the edge of the roof.

"Hold on, Babe. I'll help ya." It wasn't like I hadn't gotten down from the roof by myself a million times before. Shannon worried anyway. He climbed onto the railing as I sat down. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down. He held me close as he jumped off the porch.

"Mornin', Shan."

"Mornin', Lanna." He set me down and I looked the other way. "Hey." He put a finger under my chin and made me look up at him. He froze when he saw my face and I saw the anger in his eyes.

"Shan..."

"I'm gonna kill him." He growled.

"Shannon, I called you so there wouldn't be a fight. If you're gonna be that way, I'll just take Jeff." His face changed from pissed to sad. He hated knowing that Jeff was the only person in the world that came before him. I never understood why it bothered him so much. Jeff was my best friend, but Shan was my boyfriend. He always acted like he was going to lose me to Jeff, and I hated the stress that caused on their friendship.

"Didn't Jeff put any ice on it? It looks bad." He glared up at the window.

"Shannon, you know damn well he takes good care of me. Now are you gonna go with me or not?"

"I'll be good." The sadness didn't leave his eyes. I put my hand on his face and kissed his lips softly.

"I'm with you, Shan. If I didn't wanna be, I wouldn't. But I do. Please get that through your incredibly thick head." He smiled and kissed me passonatly. I leaned into the kiss and wrapped my arms around him. He laughed a little and pulled away. I pouted.

"Buzz kill." He rolled his eyes and smirked.

"Come on." He kissed me one more time and took my hand.

"Go in the back. It's less likely we'll see him." We went to the fence and he lifted me up, placing me gently on the other side.

"You know," I said as he jumped the fence. "I am capable of doing some things myself." He kissed my nose.

"I know. But you're just so pretty I like to do them for you."

"You do know that made no sence, right?" He shrugged.

"Let's get this the hell over with." We walked in, trying to be as quiet as we could. He held my hand as we went up to my room. I kicked clothes and Derek's toys out of the way as I walked to my closet.

"Sorry it's so messy." I said absently. He rolled his eyes.

"Lanna, you've seen my room." He said, laying on my bed and grabbing Mr. Bert, the stuffed lamb Jeff got me when I was ten.

"I thought you said you always cleaned up for me." I grabbed a pair of jeans.

"Well I do. But it's still not clean." I laughed. Even when he 'cleaned' for me, his room was a disaster. I looked through my shirts and realized how bad I needed to do laundry.

"I'll just wear one of Jeff's shirts. Shan, can you grab my purse and cell. And stop throwing Mr. Bert, he'll get sick." He laughed and shook his head.

"You really do love this little stuffed lamb, don't you?" I nodded, making big puppy eyes. Jeff won me Mr. Bert when he was twelve at a carnival, he spent all his money trying to knock over those milk bottles. Three days later my mom ODed on pain pills. And even though Greg wouldn't let me out of the house to see Jeff, I had Bert. Jeff had told me at school that if I held Mr. Bert, it would be like I was holding him. And that's what I did. Every night for a week I held Bert and pretended it was Jeff. Somehow, it had made everything a little bit better. Shannon laughed and pulled me on top of him, kissing me. He rolled over so that he was ontop and started kissing my neck. I ran my hands under his shirt and over his muscular chest. He bit gently on my ear lobe and a slight moan escaped my lips. After a few more moments I sighed.

"My dad's gonna catch us." He kissed my neck a few more times and then kissed my lips once more.

"Alright, let's go then." He got my purse and put my phone in it. I grabbed my binder and we went back down stairs. I groaned silently when I saw my dad sitting at the table. Shannon put his arm around me and kept walking. We made it to the door before he said anything.
"Where are you going, Alanna?" I sighed and turned around.

"Shannons. He's gonna make me breakfast." I lied. He nodded.

"I need you to take your brother to day care."

"Dad, I have to be at school in 45 minutes. I haven't even ate."

"Well, you're gettin' fat. Skip breakfast and take Derek to day care." I felt Shannons hand tighten into a fist on my shoulder and he started taking deep breaths.

"Dad, I'll still be late for school." He shrugged.

"Doesn't matter. Not like it's gonna do you any good. You're nothing either way." Shannon clenched and unclenched his fist.

"Dad, I..."

"Stop arguing! You never did know how to just listen and do what you're told! And that piece of shit Jeff just makes it worse. Take your brother. And don't you dare stop to see him. Do you hear me?" Tears started forming in my eyes and Shannon held me tighter.

"You know what Mr. Black? I'll take Derek so Lanna wont be late for school. If that's okay." He knodded and started putting on his shoes.

"Thanks, Shannon. You've always been a good kid. Jeff and Alanna should start taking notes."

"Thank you, sir." I could hear him struggling to keep his cool. Derek came down the stairs, his power rangers back pack in hand.
"Shannon!" He yelled.

"Hey!" He ruffled his curly black hair.

"Lanna, what happend to your eye?" I glanced at Greg, he was pretending he didn't hear it.

"She fell off her bike." Shannon told him.

"Are you okay?" His little nose crinckled in concern. I nodded.

"Hey, guess what?" Shannon asked, picking him up.

"What?"

"I'm gonna take you to school!"

"Awesome!" I smiled at how happy Derek looked. He loved Shannon, Jeff and Matt. He thought they were the coolest people in the world because of the tricks they did on the trampoline, the funny voices they made, and the games they played with him.

"So, are you ready to go?" He asked him, setting him down.

"Yea, hold on." He ran up the steps.

"Well, I'm headed to work." Greg said, grabbing his keys. "Remember, you're not to see Jeff." I nodded and leaned into Shannon. He left and I heard the engine to his car start as Derek ran back down the stairs. He had his big toy dinosour that Jeff had got him for his birthday last month.

"It's my turn for show and tell today!" I smiled and picked him up.

"Cool! You're gonna show them Ollie?" He nodded. We got his car seat and walked him over to Shan's car. I hooked up the car seat as Derek told him about the Pokemon movie that was on last night.

"Hook yourself in Der." He climbed into the car and started buckling up. Shannon put his hands on my waist and kissed me.

"I'll see you after school." He leaned down and kissed me again. I nodded and stood on my tip toes to bite his lip gently.

"Ewww!" Derek yelled.

"Now I have cooties!" Shannon yelled, grinning at me. I hit his chest.

"See ya." I turned around and walked across the street to Jeff's. I tapped on the door.

"It's open!" Matt yelled.

"Honey, I'm home!" I called as I walked in, dropping my binder and purse on the couch.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Jeff yelled. I walked up behind him at the stove and covered his eyes with my hands.

"Guess who." Matt said for me.

"You want me to burn your pancakes?" He moved my hands and flipped one.

"Yumm." Jeff was the best cook and he always made pancakes just the way I liked them.

"Where's Dad?" I asked, pouring a glass of milk.

"Left for work already."

"Oh, well how long are my pancakes gonna be, Chef?"

"Five minutes." I got my purse and went to Jeff's room to get a shirt. I went to his closet and decided on the Pearl Jam shirt that I loved him in. Hopfuly, it would look half as good on me. I changed and put the hoodie back on. I started brushing threw my hair when Matt came in.

"Your pancakes are ready." I smiled at him.

"Thanks."

"Hey, um, how are you and Shan?" I raised an eye brow at him.

"Good. Why? What do you know that I don't?" I took a step towards him.

"Well, alot." He smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"No. About Shan. What aren't you telling me, Matthew?"

"There's nothing I'm not telling you about Shannon." I glared at him. "Honest! I was just asking 'cause you don't tell me anything unless I ask."

"Alanna Marie! Your pancakes are gonna get cold!" Jeff yelled up the steps.

"I'm comin', Jeffrey Nero!" I turned back to Matt and narrowed my eyes. "Me and you are gonna talk later. And I will find out what you're hiding." He rolled his eyes.

"That's my shirt. And my hoodie." Jeff stated as I sat down at the table.

"I know. I need to do laundry. Where is my whipped cream?" He opend the fridge and pulled out the cool whip.

"If you bring it over here I'll do it for ya." He said as he sprayed a big mond of whipped cream.

"It's okay." He put the whipped cream back. I looked up at him and started tapping my foot. He rolled his eyes as he got the sprinkles.

"So, where's Shan?"

"Takin' Der to school." I took a big bite and smiled.

"Oh. What did your dad say?" I swallowed and shrugged.

"I'm worthless, blah blah blah, I'm fat, blah blah blah, I'm not aloud to see you. The usual." He shook his head and looked down.

"Alanna," He looked into my eyes and gave me his serious look. I looked back into his fierce green ones. I all of a sudden felt breathless and it scared me. "I don't want you to ever listen to a word he says." I knew that he was waiting for me to reply but I couldn't do anything but stare at him. His beautiful green eyes, his strong jaw line, his gorgeous lips, his silver lip ring. For the first time, I saw what Shannon was so worried about. "Are you even listening to me?" I shook my head a little and took another bite.

"Yea. Listen Jeff, don't worry about it. Okay?" My phone buzzed.

"Hey, Amy."

"Hi Amy!" Jeff called.

"Hey, Lanna. Hey, Jeff."

"What's up?"

"Can you tell Matt I'm gonna be late. He wont pick up his phone."

"Sure. Where ya goin'?"

"Mall, maybe a movie. Just out."

"I see. I'll tell him."

"Thanks. I gotta go. Love you."

"Love you too, Hun." I hung up just as Matt walked in.

"What'd she want?" Jeff asked.

"Matt, your girl friend's gonna be late."

"Why?" I shrugged. Jeff and I finished eating and I ran to the bathroom to do my hair and make up.

"Jeff, do you know how to cover a black eye?" He sighed and took the concealer from my hand.

"Here." He gently started putting it on. His warm breath on my cheek gave me goose bumps and I couldn't help noticing how good he smelled. "There." He put all the stuff in my purse and put it on my arm. I looked in the mirror. You could still tell I had a black eye but it wasn't all purple and nasty.

"How do you know how to do that?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he just shrugged.

"We're gonna be late. Come on." I looked up at him and bit down on my lip. The urge to kiss him was so strong it almost knocked me down.

"Yea, uh, let's go."

Usualy, I considered it a great thing that me and Jeff had all the same classes. It was our last year of highschool(Jeff had to do his freshman year twice, and I started school early, so we ended up being in the same graduating class.) and being with Jeff all day just made it easier and more fun. Today was different, though. I couldn't stop glancing over at him. Couldn't stop myself from touching him every chance I got. Couldn't help but smile everytime he talked, his smooth southern draw making my heart race. By the time lunch came around, I was so frustrated with myself it was putting me in a horribal mood.

"Can I have a bite of your brownie?" He asked, reaching out to my tray. I smacked his hand away.

"No." He looked at me, confused. I always let him have half of my brownie. I sighed. "I'm sorry. Here." I split it in half and put one half on his plate. He ignored it and just looked at me. I looked away, afraid I might do something I'd regret.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He huffed.

"Lanna, I know you better than that." He did know me better than that. He knew me better than I knew myself. Maybe he could tell me why I wanted to push him up against a wall and kiss every inch of him right now.

"I just, I don't feel very good." His face quickly turned from confused to concerned.

"You okay?"

"Yea, yea. It's just my head." He looked a little less concerned and started eating again.

"Go to the nurse and get some asprin." I shook my head.

"It'll go away." We walked to Math and I tried very hard not to look at him. I was usualy so good at hiding these feelings for Jeff. Even from myself. I learned a long time ago that Jeff was exactly what I needed to stay alive. I couldn't risk losing him because of some dumb desire to be more than friends. Why the hell was I finding it so hard to hide them now? I was happy with Shannon and I didn't want to hurt him. If I didn't pull myself together by the time I saw him, he would freak out. He would know right away that I was having these thoughts about Jeff. Then I would have to lie to him and tell him I wasn't. Because I did want to be with Shannon. I just couldn't stop these thoughts.

"Ms. Black?" I looked up.

"Yes Mrs. Taylor?"

"What's the answer to the question?" I hadn't even heard the question.

"Uhm..." I glanced over at Jeff.

"73." He murmured.

"73?"

"Thank you Mr. Hardy. But I do believe I asked Alanna. Pay better attention Ms. Black."

"Sorry." We said in unison. She turned back around and started writing on the board. He smiled at me and slipped me a note. I looked at him for a second then forced my eyes to the letter.

'Wanna go for a ride later? ;)' I looked up at him and smiled.

'Are you gonna let me have a turn this time?' I handed him the note and watched him smirk as he read it.

'Well I really can't make any promises. But I can almost gaurantee I wont throw you in the creek this time. almost.'

'Okay. But just me and you. No Matt or Shan. kay?' The bell rang right after I passed the note.

"That sounds awesome." He smiled and I followed him out the door. I swear that he would stay in art all day if he could. He had a small smile on his face the whole time he was drawing. Everytime I tried to see what he was working on, he'd push me away and told me I could see when he was done. He'd been working on the same picture for two weeks and I was getting very impatient. I always loved his art. It was the kind of stuff I always pictured in my head, but my hand never seemed to connect with my brain. So I just let Jeff do it for me.

"Are you almost done with that damn thing?" He sighed.

"Patients, Lanna." He looked down at the paper, his tongue peaking out from his lips in consentration. Too cute for words.

"It's been two damn weeks!" I complained, mostly to distract myself.

"There." He looked up at me, then back at the picture, then back at me. "I'm pretty sure I'm done. I guess...you can see it."

"Finaly!"

"Just, just promise not to laugh." I rolled my eyes.

"Scouts fucking honor, okay?" He nodded and I walked around to the other side of the table. My mouth dropped open and my heart started racing when I saw it. It was me. Dead on. I would have thought it was an old black and white photo in if I had just glanced at it. There was light shining from behind me, making me look almost like an angel. There was slight smile on my face, and even though he used no colors, my eyes were piercing.

"Well?" He wasn't making this whole hiding my feelings thing easy. All I really wanted to do was kiss him and tell him how much I loved him. He looked up at me, his eyes anxsious.

"Jeff, it's...it's beautiful. Amazing. I love it." His eyes lit up.

"Really?" I bit my lip and nodded, finaly looking away from the drawing and down at him. He smiled so big I thought his face might crack. I couldn't help but smile back at his dimples. I leaned down and hugged him.

"Thank you, Jeff. You're such an amazing artist." I didn't want to let go of him, but I pulled away and smiled at him. His answering smile was dazzling and I had to look away. He started to lean towards me and I turned back to look at him. He kissed my cheek, right by my lips, my heart skipped two beats and then started beating faster. My face heated and Jeff seemed to notice the weird reaction. He looked around for a second then picked up the painting.

"I'm, uh, I'm gonna take this up to Ms. Hamound. You can have it once she gives it back to me. If you want."

"Yea, yea. Of course I want it." I forced a smile.

Thanks for reading!

Begginings are hard so be patient with me and I swear it will get better(: