Eheh, I hope you lot enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Disclaimer: Don't own a damn thing. Beyblade © Takao Aoki… If You Were Gay © Avenue Q

Note: The bits in Italic are what Tala is singing…

If You Were Gay

Kai sighed and slouched in the armchair, holding his book with one hand.

"Aah… An afternoon alone with my favourite book… No roommate to bother me… How could it get any better than this?"

Suddenly Tala burst through the door, startling Kai.

"Oh, hi Kai!" he greeted.

"Hi Tala," Kai grumbled.

Tala dropped and sat cross-legged on the carpet, looking innocent. "Hey Kai, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning." He tugged on Kai's trousers to get his attention. "This guy was smiling at me and talking to me."

Kai's eyes never tore away from the page. "That's very interesting," he commented sarcastically.

Tala rubbed his neck. "He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay!"

"Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care." Kai shuffled in his seat. "What did you have for lunch today?"

"Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Kai…"

"I'm NOT getting defensive!" Kai shouted, but immediately sobered. "What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read."

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Kai. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about."

"I don't want to talk about it, Tala! This conversation is over!"

"Yeah, but…"

"OVER!"

"Well, okay, but just so you know…" Tala smiled, stood up and began to dance. "If you were gay, that'd be okay. I mean 'cause, hey, I'd like you anyway. Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay. But I'm not gay," Tala sang.

Kai rolled his eyes. "Tala, please! I am trying to read… What!"

"If you were queer…" Tala continued.

"Ah, Tala!"

"I'd still be here…"

"Tala, I'm trying to read this book."

"Year after year…"

"Tala!" Kai growled.

"Because you're dear to me…"

"Argh!"

"And I know that you…"

"What?" Kai wondered. He was beginning to blush and had the sudden urge to proclaim something to the world…

"… Would accept me too…"

"I would?"

"If I told you today…"

Unable to contain himself any longer, Kai dropped his book and leapt up from the chair. "Hey! Guess what, I'm gay!" He clamped his hands over his mouth, shocked at his confession.

Tala glared at him. "But I'm not gay."

Kai blushed furiously. "Oh."

The redhead grinned cheesily and grabbed Kai's hands, forcing Kai to dance with him. "I'm happy just being with you. So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?"

Kai snatched his hands out of Tala's grasps. "Tala, that's GROSS!"

"No it's not!" Tala continued with his song. "If you were gay I'd shout hooray!"

Kai stuffed his fingers in his ears. "I am not listening!"

"And here I'd stay…"

"La la la la!"

"But I wouldn't get in your way."

"Aaaah!"

"You can count on me to always be beside you every day, to tell you it's okay, you were just born that way, and, as they say, it's in your DNA, you're gay!"

Kai was sweating. He wanted to keep that quiet. "But I'm not gay!" he lied.

Tala winked to show he knew Kai was fibbing. "If you were gay."

"Argh!"

There was a long, awkward silence before Kai finally spoke again. "Can I read now?"