Merlin says that a taxi will pick them up and deposit them at 11 sharp, and he says it in his 'and that's fucking it' tone. Of course, half the bullshit he spews is in that freaking tone - like 'one of you doesn't have parachute'. So yeah, right.
He doesn't make 'polite inquiries' like he imagines Harry would. He asks right out if they have to pilfer something, learn something, or just show their fucking moves (see what he did there?). Merlin says if they can get close and biblical with the girl, that's it - no ulterior motives, they win this round. Yeah, right. Suffice to say he doesn't buy it.
And a gentleman may always have to arrive punctual, but he feels more like a petty thief, back in his street clothes, and a robber always stakes the territory first thing. So he gets a ride to the place (it's easier than he thought it would be, there's no biometrical check to get on the train and the custom taxis are always around if you know where to look) and snoops around.
Lady's already there, unfashionably early for this kinda place, really, and the whole thing starts to be more suspicious than it was. Just a bit, though, it's hard to go a lot over 'off the charts'.
So he drinks a little and stalks his 'mark'. She likes to laugh and drink, so she's just his sort. He doesn't send her a glass of random, expensive shit like every posh asshole in the fucking place, but brings over two champagne glasses for her and her friend with his best roguish smile. It doesn't bother him any to look at them drinking and laughing at his quips.
He's still an hour earlier than the others, and Merlin can suck his dick. Unless, of course, the pretty thing in front of him wants dibs.
"We should celebrate."
Lady Sophie (plus posh surnames)'s friend giggles, "why ever?"
"Sweetness, the world goes round and I'm with you two, yeah?"
He lays it thick and corny, and he's not disappointed as the two laugh. The alcohol helps.
It takes a whole lot of sweet talking, and very carefully plying the friend with drinks without being obvious, before the other finally has to go to the loo and he scores a dance.
Having her grind on him on the dance floor is right nice and before long they're snogging like there's no tomorrow. When he caresses her thigh, dragging up her dress, and she only moans, he knows he's scored.
"Wanna ditch the friend for a bit?" And of course she fucking nods. He's still got it.
And Eggsy is a little shit, so he takes the girl back to the Kingsman-issued taxi and eats her out until she fucking screams in the posh upholstery, fingers her pussy and mutters filth in her ear figuring Merlin having to listen to it.
And he thinks 'Sophie' may be thinking the same thing if the angry blush staining her neck and breasts is any hint. He grins wickedly at her but they don't acknowledge the 'mission' otherwise. They's supposed to be fucking spies, right? He nearly laughs out loud, thinking about that while rolling a jhonny on, getting ready to know her in the biblical sense.
He makes her come three fucking times (even if the last time is a little half-hearted because of over-sensibility and she hits him on the chest after, but she's laughing so he thinks it's fine).
They freshen up with the wet wipes in the car (points for preparedness, Kingsman, colour him impressed) and get back in the club with a few minutes to spare between the two.
He goes to the bar with all the calm in the world, and if he's smug as shit it's because of the great orgasm. Really. He chills with a nice Whisky, then he goes to save the lady from his cohorts - he thinks a fourth orgasm is not in her future, though he would be mightily impressed.
They seem ready to gang up on her, and not even in the fun way, but like a pack of hyenas or something.
As he sips champagne that somehow found its way into his hand as he made his way over, he thinks about the lace panties in his front pocket and freaking relishes.
Then, "Is it just me, or does this champagne taste a little bit funny?"
And Charlie is ridiculous, really, seeing as at this point Eggsy's only looking to waste a little time. No reason to compete when you've already won. He winks at Sophie.
Then he wakes up tied to fucking train tracks and he could kill Merlin.
(Not really, though, he likes living)