Empty beer cans scatter the floor, but all I can think about is Rose. Rose. I sit on my couch, looking to the door, desperate to hear a knock. To open the door, and to see her, her hair, her face, her eyes. And then she'd tell me she loved me and that Dimitri meant nothing to her, that she had seen him for the asshole that he really was. That's all I want, more than anything in the whole world. But that's a dream. And dreams never come true for me, no matter how much I wish.
If I could just see Rose one more time- I could die happy. I'm sure of it. But it makes her feel awkward- being around me. So I just stay keep to myself. If I could only just hold her, kiss her, tell her I love her one more time, I would happily rest in the ground.
I tried to love Sydney- honestly, I did. But it wasn't the same. I realised I had never loved her, not really. I was in love with the idea of her, but deep down I knew I was only trying to fill the gap that Rose had left. So I broke it off with Sydney, to save her the pain of having to deal with my brokenness in the long run. I wasn't the poster boy for morality, but I wasn't a monster. And Sydney wasn't Rose. No matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise, what I want is Rose. Nothing else will ever suffice.
When I saw Rose for the last time, and we said our "goodbyes", a little part of me died. Who am I kidding, my heart turned into a bottomless black whole and every part of me begged to end it all. And I did considering ending it all, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I lay in bed, crying like a baby, for the girl I knew I had lost. And I was so alone. I would do anything for Rose- I gave her every part of me I owned, my soul, my heart, my body. She still has it. She can have it, I don't need it.
Rose was different to every other girl I had ever met. She brought out a part of me that no one else saw, not even me. I loved her, despite how messed up she was at the time, I loved her in every way humanly possible. I thought she loved me too, but that went to shit, didn't it? Rose managed to do what no one else could, she took my soul, and with every touch, every world, she mended me. It was as if, before I met her, I was dead, that there was no life in me. I was still Adrian, but I was just a guy who partied too much and drank all the time. And then, Rose comes along, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and suddenly all that life came bubbling to the surface, like fireworks on the fourth of July. She brought out a part of me I had never seen, she made me better.
An I can't help but look in the mirror, and see what everything that's wrong with me. Every way that I'm not like Dimitri. Every way that I'm a failure. And despite this, despite everything she has put me through, all the shit and what not, and can't help be long for her at night. I want- no, I need her. She took half of my heart, and now I'm finding it hard to function without her. God, I loved her. I loved like the way you see in the movies. I thought she loved me too. If she loved me, why'd she leave me? I could have given her everything. I still would give her everything and anything, in a heartbeat.
How can I ever move on when every single part of me is still tied to her? How will I ever be able to look her in the eyes again? I can't move on without Rose, because I need her. I need to see her eyes in the morning, and the way her hair her falls perfectly by her shoulders, and the way the her she licks her lips if she's concentrating. I won't ever find someone who compares to Rose, but I would happily live a thousand lifetimes just to call her mine.
And while she's wrapped around in Dimitri's arms, I'll sit on the couch, drinking everything I can find, hoping that I'll find someone like her, and knowing that I won't.
Hi guys! So originally, this was only meant to be a one-shot, but, if you guys like it, I would love to continue it! So drop a review, and follow or favourite, and I'll definitely try to continue it. But only if I get a couple of reviews :D (They feed the plot bunnies.)