Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!

This is a parody, a mockery, take it seriously and you're completely missing the point.

Harry was stood in the darkness of the dungeons, once again being told off for something he had nothing to do with, well perhaps something to do with, and all he could concentrate on was how cold his feet were. He was stood next to Snape's desk, the teacher himself clearing equipment away from the benches with his wand. He watched the cloaked figure sweep his way around the room and shuddered, he hated this man so much it almost hurt to be stood in the same room as him. Snape was making some sarcastic comment about being bigheaded and Harry forced himself to look up to where Snape was stood. Harry was shocked as he looked deep into Snape's eyes and was lost in the tinkling abyss that he saw there. Snape sneered at him and continued his work, satisfied that his remark had penetrated Potter's thick skull. Harry rolled his eyes at Snape's back and continued to watch him clear up. Hair, which he had so frequently described as lank and greasy, was transformed in front of his eyes to sleek and lustrous locks. He quashed the sudden urge to run his hands run it. He realised with a jolt that he had been staring at the Potion's Master and quickly looked down at his feet, clearing his throat and trying to remember what it was Snape had been saying.

"Are you even listening to me Potter?" Snape drawled, lifting an eyebrow in annoyance. Harry just stopped himself from answering, no.

"Er-"

"Just like your father. He never cared much for what other people said. Even if it was for his own safety."

"Shut up," Harry remained surprisingly calm, "I can't believe you're still so bitter, it all happened in high school, why don't you just get over it?" Harry jumped as Snape seemed to cross the dungeon with inexplicable speed, looming over him in seconds, sneer twisting his face.

"You, Potter, have no idea. You hardly even met your father, yet alone lived with him for five years." Harry shrunk back from the huge figure, emotions battling in his stomach as he remembered the things he had seen in Snape's past, the bullying, the abuse. The two of them stood in silence, Snape still towering over Harry, the boy himself staring at the floor.

"I would give everything to meet him," Harry whispered suddenly, the sound deafening in the icy silence of the dungeon, lifting his eyes to meet Snape's. Once again he was shocked at how deep they were, the pale smooth skin of his cheeks almost seemed to dance in the light of the flickering candles. Concentrate, Harry mentally slapped himself.

"Look in a mirror. You are so like James that it's unnerving." Harry frowned at Snape's use of his father's first name, at the softness of his tone, which could almost be described as affectionate. "You'd better leave Potter."

"Hang on," Harry caught onto Snape's cloak as he turned, "you just called him James." Snape took hold of Harry's wrist in a soft but strong hold and removed Harry's grip from his cloak. "You're not telling me everything," Harry suddenly noticed that Snape still hadn't let go of his wrist and was instead holding it tightly in his own hand.

"Harry," Snape's voice seemed slightly less cutting and sure as it usually did. "James and I, it was complicated. So many years gone, then you came waltzing in through Hogwart's doors. Just like he did." Harry made a slight noise of protest as he was dragged forward by his wrist, the sound turning into a moan as Severus' lips met his own, surprised at how soft and supple they were, his mouth flooding with the taste of cinnamon and ginger biscuits as he kissed back urgently.

"But I thought you hated me?" Harry whispered as Severus pulled back gently.

"No Harry, from the minute you set foot in Hogwarts all I could see was James. You are so like him."

"You hated my dad," Harry whispered, voice coming out ridiculously husky. Severus shook his head slightly.

"I didn't love Lily. I was jealous of her."

"You don't want me, you want James." Harry choked out as Severus dipped his head and began to press kisses to his neck, one hand at the back of Harry's head, the other pressing against the front of his shirt.

"I did, but now I want you." Their lips met once again, escalating until their tongues were fighting for dominance and Severus finally won, pushing Harry back against his desk, pulling his shirt out of his trousers quickly.

"I'm not sure school rules allow you to deflower The Boy Who Lived, Severus." Severus leapt back from Harry as Dumbledore's voice floated calmly across the dungeon. Harry felt the blush rush up his face as he tried to straighten his clothes with shaking hands.

"But who am I to stand in the way of true love?" Dumbledore meandered his way out the dungeon, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. Harry suppressed a shudder. Man, that guy is creepy.