Highschool AU.
A short story about feelings and sexuality, featuring ace!Cas and awkward highschoolers Dean and Castiel. Super light, rating is for language.
"Can I tell you something?"
"What?"
Dean was looking at Castiel, words unsaid on the tip of his tongue. Whatever he was going to tell Cas, it was big.
"Actually, never mind. I'll tell you later," Dean decided, looking away at the other students wandering the dilapidated grass. Cas shifted against the tree he was leaning against to look at Dean.
"Why not now?"
"Later," Dean insisted. His gaze raked over the population. Three of the girls he could see held the title of his ex-girlfriend. One of the boys he could see held the title of brother. Dean waved. Sam waved back halfheartedly and continued talking to the nerd people.
"Okay," Cas agreed skeptically. He handed Dean his other apple. Dean took it. It was a mark of their true friendship that Dean allowed Castiel to force him to eat healthy. (Well, healthier.)
The bell rang, and Dean stood, stretching. Cas stood too, brushing bark off his loose blue tee shirt.
"C'mon," Dean said. "I gotta get my Bio book. I left it in my locker."
"Run, bitch, run," Castiel growled jokingly, and turned away towards the classroom instead.
"We are not friends!" Dean called after Cas's retreating form.
Biology. This was Cas's favorite subject. This was the bane of Dean's existence, to hear him groan about it. The only reason Dean had a 87 in the class was because Castiel helped him through every step of the way. In return, Dean helped him through literary analysis, which Cas couldn't wrap his head around and Dean was surprisingly good at but would never admit it. Anyway, biology. It was such a cool subject, and they had such a cool teacher. Mrs. Garret had a knack for reigning in immature high schoolers. This talent came in handy today, because they were learning about the reproductive system for mammals.
"Animals have an instinctive desire to mate," Mrs Garret explained. "Some mammals only mate in a specific season. Their desire to mate only arises during that season. Other animals have the desire the year round…"
Some of the boys at our school seem to have the desire to mate 24/7, thought Cas sardonically.
His next thought, the subconscious thought, was Not all mammals.
Not me.
"Reproduction is one of the eight characteristics of life," the teacher continued, having drifted away from mating habits of mammals.
Oops, guess I'm not alive, thought Cas's subconscious. The thought wormed its way into his consciousness, and he balked a little. That wasn't true. Everyone wanted to "mate." He just hadn't found the right person yet. He figured he'd feel the same mushy love stuff as everyone else, eventually. The teacher was rambling on, but Cas, uncharacteristically, stopped listening. He was too busy trying to dive into his subconscious for a hint of the mating desire that was SUPPOSEDLY in all mammals. He'd had a crush before, right? Remember that girl in 8th grade- what was her name- Helen? Hannah. Hannah, that was it. Didn't Dean tease him about having a crush on Hannah and he was trying to embarrass Cas and- and- And Cas couldn't decide if it counted as a real crush. Because he couldn't remember if he actually "like liked" her.
It had been kind of exciting when she'd finally talked to him, but Cas was realizing that was mostly for Dean's benefit. Dean had been cheering him on. Let the nerd get the girl.
And he'd gotten the girl, sort of, ish, before she moved.
"I hope you've taken notes," Cas hissed at Dean.
"You haven't?" Dean asked in surprise. Regardless, he shoved his paper close enough for Cas to copy it. "We're having a serious conversation later," Dean insisted.
"About what?"
"Stuff," Dean said. "My stuff and your stuff." He nodded definitely and refused to elaborate.
Sam and the geek gang were out somewhere. Cas sat on Dean's bed and Dean locked the door (to secure the room from prying brothers) like he'd done so many times before. Cas slung his backpack on the floor and stared up at the dumb ass faded glow-in-the-dark stars clinging desperately to Dean's ceiling. They'd been there forever, and secretly, the back of one said Dean and the back of another said Cas. The back of a third said Sam in a childish scrawl that was basically illegible.
"So," Cas started.
"So," Dean replied. They stared at each other in silence before Dean asked, "What was up with you in Bio?"
"Thinking," Cas replied.
"What were you thinking about?"
"Bio."
"The hell you were," Dean snorted. "You asked to copy my notes!"
"Bio," Cas insisted. Dean just looked at him. "I was thinking about the lesson," Cas continued. Dean waited. "I was thinking about the lesson, Dean."
Ideas scurried through Dean's head as he attempted to figure out his friend. "What part of the lesson?" he finally asked.
"The bit about the instinctive desire to mate," Cas said. Dean was about to cut in, but more words started coming out of Cas in a rush, as if now that he'd started, he couldn't stop. "Mrs. Garret was saying that all mammals had an instinctive desire mate, and then I was thinking that started right around high school and how all the guys at our school seem to be interested in sex and it goes for the girls, too, but I've never actually wanted to fuck someone, Dean. Is that weird?"
"Really?" Dean asked. "You've never, ever, wanted to fuck someone?"
"I've never even really had a crush on someone. I've never wanted to so much as kiss someone. I thought at first that it was because our school was full of shitty, fake people and I needed to find someone better, but I don't know."
Dean shrugged, completely at a loss. "Hey, staying single forever by choice seems a hell of a lot simpler-"
"No!" Cas exclaimed, startling Dean. "No, that's not it. I want a relationship. But only the relationship part and not the fucking part."
"If you did find the right person, would you fuck them?"
"Maybe. I don't know. Not… right away."
"Okay," Dean said, clearly not knowing what else to say.
It didn't seem to bother Dean that apparently Cas wasn't a proper living creature because he was missing any sort of sex drive. Cas voiced the worry.
"No! No, no, that's wrong. You're still a person. Don't be an idiot, Cas." Dean seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, them added, "…gay people are people too? Right? And they can't make babies, so… but they're people anyway."
Something about the way he said it made Cas forget for a second about himself and look at Dean with the same expectant look Dean had used on him.
"I mean, that's right, right?" Dean babbled.
"Right," Cas agreed assuredly.
"Because everyone's human. You're human. I'm human."
"Dean?"
"What?"
"What did you want to tell me?"
"I. Uh."
"I spilled!" Cas complained. "Your turn!"
Staring determinedly downward, Dean spat, "IthinkI'mgay."
"You're bi," Cas corrected.
"I know- what? I what?"
"Bisexual. Attracted to both men and women."
"Oh."
Cas nodded.
"So, uh, you're cool with it?"
"No. I'm not cool with it." As Dean's heart stopped in his chest, Cas continued. "Why did it take you so fucking long? That's what I'm not cool with. I'm cool with the bisexuality."
"Asshole."
"You know you love me."
The throwaway phrase was something Cas said all the time. Usually, Dean laughed. Today, Dean nodded somewhat jerkily. Cas didn't comment.
"So no fucking, but would you date guys or girls?" Dean asked Cas suddenly.
Cas only shrugged in answer. "I dunno."
"Do you have any idea what your type is? At all?" Dean continued.
"Someone who I would consider a good friend, I guess," Cas decided. "I don't have different personality standards for friends and romantic interests."
"So you would date Charlie?" Dean suggested. "Or Meg?"
"Charlie is a lesbian," Cas pointed out.
"But let's say she asked you out anyway."
"That would have a high probability of being a prank or otherwise not real, because she's a lesbian."
Dean groaned. "Meg?"
"Eh."
"Eh?"
"We haven't been that close recently.
I've talked to her like once a week, during class."
"She used to have the biggest crush on you," Dean remembered fondly.
"Did she?"
"Dude. You are the most unaware person I've met."
Cas shrugged.
"Benny?" Dean continued.
"He was your friend. He hated me."
"Oh, yeah… Jo?" Dean asked.
"We are friends, but... we aren't really, really good friends."
"Do you have any really really good friends?" Dean asked exasperatedly.
"You," Cas pointed out...
Dean really wanted to ask, but then again, he really didn't. He should. He shouldn't.
There was a battle going on in his brain when he finally asked, "So would you date me?"
"Sure, I guess," Cas said.
"Really? For real, you would date me."
"Yeah. I mean, we're practically dating already, it would just also involve kissing. I think it would be kind of nice to kiss someone, especially someone who's not going to think I'm a total fucking weirdo because I don't know how to kiss."
"Would… would you date me?" Dean asked.
"I just said, birdbrain, yes-"
"No, this is a… a question. As in, will you date me? Like, will you, really actually now?"
"Are you asking if I will be your boyfriend?"
"I mean. I guess…"
Cas looked at Dean and Dean looked at Cas as if neither could believe that the other would go through with this, but then Cas said confidently, "Yes. I'll be your boyfriend."
Dean smiled widely, and Cas smiled back.
Aww.
Based on Supernatural (sorta), me, my friend, conversations I had, conversations I didn't have, and conversations I wish I could have had.
Message from your friendly author: a person's a person, no matter if they've figured out their sexuality or not.