Crawling in the Dark

Warnings: May contain mature content such as Yaoi (boy on boy) later on and Shonen Ai (boy love). Language and some blood and gore makes it teen rated.

This is dedicated to my friend who plays Yuu-chan. This is for you! -heart-

Disclaimer: I do not own Man; it is owned by Katsura Hoshino and should continue to be…. Even if our beloved couples become one! (Wishes….)

Author Note: Okay, so this chapter is kinda small and kinda slow, but it gives off information of what is happening in these young peoples' lives. Heehee, so if you have any small ideas, I would be honored to add them into the story.

The difference in their lives caused them to never dare say, "I love you." Can everything be right? Or is the ruling of life too much? Only they know like their hearts. LavixKanda

Ch. 1 Just A Seconds Worth

I wish I could have had… the chance…

--

Gentle winds, calming chirps of crickets and the soothing sound of running water. The young man sitting at a lakes edge stared off into the moonlight like he was in a daze. Maybe it was the radiant moonlight shining down on the ground making this seemed so beautiful. Or maybe, it was the thoughts of the whole night. Everything just made a shimmering tear drop fall down his cheek.

The young man himself had a beautiful emerald green eye as the other was covered by a black eye patch. His hair as red as fires tips, seeming only aflame too the moonlights grace. Oh and his skin, it was a beautiful peach color that almost seemed perfect. Tonight, though, it was ruined by that one single drop.

What was wrong with him? What could possibly make the one that smiled so much dare to stream a tear? It was life, wasn't it? And…him.. That mugen wielder with flawless black hair and perfect skin.

The red head was in love with someone who he should not be. Rather, he had a hidden emotion that he shouldn't have had at all. The red head was a Bookman, one who could not love or have friends, or even keep an identity. To be honest, love between two guys is only known as taboo.

This hurt him so much, but he couldn't let it control him like it did that split second. No, the Bookman in training had a mission to finish tomorrow. But, he was there, but not only that, Allen as well. Wait…Allen Walker could certainly lighten the mood for him so he could play his act. Yes, that was right.

The young exorcist smiled widely and got up walking to the inn. He should get back before Allen and…Kanda try to kill each other again.

--

At the inn in a room that was not too luxurious, but not to common either, stood a teen with white hair and a much older raven haired teen. They didn't have very friendly faces, and especially at each other. As the older male stood there in silence, the white one began to plead in his head. This was the part where he preferred a certain red heads company more. Lucky for him, the other walked into the heavy atmosphere of the room. Allen put on a light smile, fake or not. The red head smiled back, his usual "friendly" side showing.

The older out of the three made a che sound and got ready to walk out. Lavi blinked towards Kanda's actions and stared at Allen. He wondered if they fought again, like the usual. Or Kanda was just being his usual moody self. Either way, he was use to it…but sometimes it confused the teenager. Still, his keen eye for this made the situation clearer.

Allen looked back to Lavi with suspicion. He started to hope he wasn't reading anything wrong. Wait…that didn't sound right. Oh well, he never figured the other exorcist out well anyways.

"So, you had a disagreement about him leaving when I was gone did you?" Lavi questioned the white haired exorcist with a cheery smile.

The white haired exorcist stared in amazement. How could he figure that much already? Maybe it would occur to him sooner or later. "You were on patrol for the night and it wasn't necessary since the finder is out there too!" Allen quickly proclaimed.

Oh god. The red head forgot all about the finder. Hopefully he was okay or wasn't watching his pathetic attempt to look for anything. Well, like Kanda usually said, 'the finders can take care of themselves,' which was kind of true. Though, he was still worried like Allen would be.

"Che," Kanda quickly broke the silence as grabbed mugen, his innocence, and walked towards the door. His hand grasped the metal handle and turned it. "I am not staying here." Without a glance the Japanese quickly left the room.

Allen moved to stop him but the red head reached out his arm. The young exorcist stared at him in confusion.

A kind smile formed on Lavi's lips, "Kanda won't stop for you or anyone. Besides, we can pick on him later about being alone with a finder." Lavi cooed at the end.

Allen gave out a half of a smile in reply. "So I am guessing you didn't see anything?"

Lavi averted his only open eye to Allen, his smile more cheeky then kind, "nope!"

The young exorcist rubbed the back of his head. His smile was visible but his actions showed more. He seemed to be nervous or confused. After all, Allen always rubbed the back of his head like that when nervous.

Lavi raised an eyebrow to the other before patting him on the shoulder. "What's wrong Allen?"

Allen quickly blinked towards him. "Huh? What do you mean?" he covered, very poorly at that too.

The red head sweat dropped and looked to the side, a big smile still plastered on his face. Lavi wasn't going to argue Allen on this one; he'd figure it out later anyways. Right now, it was time to relax…if that was even possible on a mission. He walked over to the twin bed and sat on it.

"Hey Allen?"

"Yeah?"

"Did Kanda do something to you?" The red head gazed at Allen deeply, like he was searching for something.

"Not in particular, why?" The white haired boy wondered in complete confusion.

At the beginning of the mission, they were given a hotel they could stay at with two rooms. As if it was the end of the world, there was a deep argument on who would be sharing with whom. Since Kanda did not like finders, or rather had no particular care for them, he wouldn't share one with that. Due to troubles with Allen and Kanda, everyone thought it would be best for them to stay apart. Lastly, Kanda didn't want to be with Lavi either from his constant annoyance, but they finally made a small agreement, even if it was to the "princes" dislike.

Now the red head was confused, or was he suspicious? Either way Allen was in his and Kanda's room and he didn't really like his presence. Well, Allen was still a friend to him, but, as a bookman, he seemed to think and examine more than a normal human. This could only mean one thing…

"I was just wondering," he replied with a wide grin.

Allen stared at the red head for awhile before shrugging it off. It was better to not pester the other about his wide grins or questions.

He yawned lightly and stretched, "We'll continue the mission in the morning Lavi. Good night."

With that, the younger exorcist left the room as Lavi gazed after.

"Niiight!" He waved Allen bye.

--

Calming winds brushed past the Japanese exorcist blowing his long and silky black hair behind him; those harsh and sealed eyes wincing to its own power. His black hues searched the area for a potential sign of danger that night only to be fooled. Was there something more to the night's world then truly met anyone's eye.

With a scowl, the older teen stared behind him as if there would be an answer there. Only, there was no answer, just the inn they were staying in for the night. Yet, he couldn't move from the spot as his eyes were fixed to the second window to the left of the building. In that window a flash of fire burned him into reality. Like an addiction… the beautiful of fire or light that caught the moth's attention in the blanket of the darkness.

Shaking his head, the raven haired teen looked away and growled beneath his breath. The everyday life was getting more and more annoying. Lavi and his pestering; Komui and his stupid projects; and Allen... That Allen Walker really ticked him off. Just before the baka usagi entered the room.

-

Everything was becoming a distraction to the young Japanese, the sharing room, being forced to wait for Lavi's return, and the fact that he knew none of this would get done this way. Yet, something was keeping him from getting out of the hotel room and outside to search for the innocence. Maybe it was how persistent Lavi was for himself to look for 'Yuu-chan;' oh how he hated that; or the fact that being outside and alone with the rabbit would make his head explode.

As he contemplated these things he unusually paced back and forth. Che, that does it, he is leaving and searching himself. As he went for the door, the knob turned and stopped him in his tracks. He was back, finally, now he could get back to work without complaint.

"Baka usagi, where the hell-" his voice collapsed as Allen walked into the room.

The young Japanese exorcist growled with a growing scowl on his face. He didn't have time for this; then again he didn't want time for Moyashi. Seeing the slightly embarrassed look on his face though was making him slightly curious to the intrusion.

"What do you want moyashi," Kanda requested out flatly.

The look on his face switched to a pale nervous look then to an angered one. His grey hues stared into Kanda's black ones as serious as ever.

"Don't call me that!" The other groaned frustrated.

"Che," is all Kanda replied as he turned his back to the white haired exorcist. Yeah. He really had little care about this after all. Right now was the perfect time to leap out the window and continue the mission. Hearing the shuffle behind him automatically stopped him as he waited patiently for the other to speak.

"Kanda," the young teen whispered below his breath. A small gasp could be heard from the white haired boy. "I…am not like Lavi at all."

Raven eyebrows furrowed to the words. What was he getting at? Kanda turned his head to glare at the short boy.

"What the hell is your point Moyashi?!" He growled darkly.

Allen's cursed eye twitched as he looked off to the side. "What I mean is that I am not fake at all." Allen lightly glanced back towards the other standing before him, "not that he is a bad person…I am just stating you don't need that."

He twitched as the white haired boy followed his action. Kanda's long and slender fingers wrapped around mugen, which was latched to his side. Figuring where the other was going, he truly wasn't going to have any part of it. Still, the other kept up a firm ground.

"Listen, don't think there are any emotions between usagi and I, you got that?" He stepped closer to the white haired one, "and there never will be. So whatever you coming from, I simply don't give a shit about any of it."

Allen's grey orbs glared as his eyes narrowed. In many ways, those eyes showed Kanda he didn't believe a word of it. Then again, in a way the younger exorcist seemed extremely jealous. "That's a lie and you know it.. Often times you guys give off glances towards each other that show it all. I am just trying to save you-"

"From what? Being with any other guy then you?" He hissed in rage.

Kanda quickly noticed the pain in the others glance. Soon he realized that he was defending not just himself, but Lavi too. He turned away and walked to the other side of the room in silence. Allen went to speak before the door opened and Lavi came in.

-

None of this was supposed to happen. No one was to love him or him to love (like) them. Still. Lenalee has always been there and never tormented him to his death; unlike a certain red head. Allen, even though all his annoying theories, still caught the young Japanese's attention and slight friendship, though he never will admit it. Then there was Lavi. Allen hit him right on the mark, he was a fake, someone who had no intention of being with the world's side like himself. Yet, that is what held or pulled in the older exorcist. He saw answers in the hammer wielder, or something more.

Really, all Kanda wanted since childhood was to do what he was made to do and receive no help from outside himself. He wasn't meant to be loved by anyone; he was a weapon who wielded the power of God. And that is what his enclosed shell was for; to keep it all away.

For some odd reason though, they all cracked the shell and saw the bit of him inside; what his true desire was. Lavi just seemed more motivated every time the Japanese teen defied him. Still, there was that mask, that annoying smile that would not go away and the attitude as if the world would obey that over sized ego.

"Annoying," he muttered as he continued onto his daily…err nightly routine.