Hope's Desire

Santana's POV

Feelings suck ass, plain and simple. Feelings only complicated things and make my life even difficult than it needs to be as I didn't even expect to have this stupid response towards her yet I do. I didn't know that I was falling for her until stupid Kurt pointed out that we do couple-y things during one of our routine movie nights awhile ago and at first I denied it until I was blue in the face but then I thought about on all times that I spent with her that it hit me.

I'm in love with Rachel Berry!

I don't find minding practicing lines with her, I held during the times that her stupid bitch of a dancer teacher sent her home in tears, Rachel is always curled up against my side with my arm loosely wrapped her shoulder during our movie nights and I hate the guys that she has gone out with. Lately she hasn't gone out with any guys since that donkey face thought that it was a good idea to try and get fresh with her by trying to cop a feel on her causing her to come home, ranting to me about how guys are such pigs and idiots.

I couldn't believe that he tried to do something like that to my hobbit but I got my payback by giving him a black eye and nearly putting his arm in a sling along with threatening him to stay as far away from her as humanly possibly. Kurt and Rachel have let me stay with them in their loft in New York because I didn't have anywhere else to stay and over the last few months, they have become like family to me and I guess that it makes sense that I've fallen for Berry after all the crap that I put her through in high school.

Maybe it was my way of showing that I liked the diva but I had my head so far up my ass that I didn't realize it until we got away from Lima and even then I didn't realize it but it's too late to do anything about it now because there's another problem. It comes in the form of a girl named Dani and she's the new girl that works at the Spotlight Diner that Rachel, Kurt and myself work at as I didn't mind her at first but then she had the balls to flirt with my girl in first of me.

I thought that the diva would've politely told the blonde guitarist that she wasn't interest because Berry is obvious straight as they come but much to my dismay, shock or probably both she smiled, flirting right back. I didn't understand what was going on around or how the hell that Berry was gay all of a sudden and when I confronted her about it one night, she simply said that sexuality was fluid and she wasn't just interest in only dating men confusing me even further.

As the few months went on, I had to stand by watching the two get all giggly and flirty with each other making me want to throw up my lunch every time that I was stuck with the both of them on the same shift and Rachel would come home from her dates with a huge smile on her face, making my heart throb in pain. It doesn't help that the blonde bimbo is integrating herself into our movie nights that started off for the three of us as I have to sit alone on the couch with Kurt as the two take refuge on the love seat that the diva brought from a flea market. They spend most of the whispering to each other, acting all cute and shit and it grates on my nerves every time I have to look at them making me apply this night club/bar a few blocks away from the apartment.

I have to take the subway to get there but I don't know how much more I can take and I need something to distract me from the pain that I'm feeling plus the extra cash to pay for the dance class as well as the time at the gym is a definite plus in dealing with the pent-up rage. I thought if I stay out long enough and kept my distance as much as possible that these feelings would go away and things would go back to the way that they were before but they didn't as the diva started to notice the change in our dynamics. She cornered me after I had pulled a double shift, questioning me about my strange behavior 'as of late' and practically demand that I tell her what was going on with me.

I hate that she does to me and I was fully prepared to rip her a new one on minding her own business but I could see that she was worried about me as whatever I was going to say died on the way out. I simply patted the diva on the shoulder, saying that it's just stress and all I needed was some sleep before ducking into my room before she question me further then flopping on my bed face first. When did things get so complicated? Why did I have to fall for her of all people? Did I learn my lesson the first time when I made the mistake of falling for my best friend?

Rachel didn't take my confession at face value but didn't say anything to me about it as she looks at me with a worried expression while I worked as I tried to ignore it as much as possible until my shift at the diner was over. I changed out of my uniform, grabbing my backpack on the way out and I was a few inches away from the door when someone calls out my amen as I knew perfectly who the voice belonged to, sighing in annoyance.

So close, so close to get away from this bullshit. Why is she making this difficult? I stopped to see Dani walking up to me and I noticed that she had changed out of her uniform as well, walking in step with me as we exited out of the diner together much to my dismay in silence. I don't know why this guitarist is so insistent that we become buddies, pals or whatever she wants us to be but she cant seem to take a hint that I don't want anything to do with her and the only reason that I have associate with her is because of work and Rachel.

"So?"

"What do you mean because I have somewhere to be?" I asked turning to face her.

"Straight to the point. Rachel was right when she said that you don't play around" Dani said giggling.

"Don't talk about me like you know me or that we're friend because we're not. If you insist on wasting my time than I'm leaving" I said turning to leave.

"Wait Santana, it's about Rachel" Dani said gently grabbing me by the elbow.

"What about Rachel?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"She's been acting a weird lately and I don't know what's going on with her. I figure that you're her best friend, you would know something" Dani said furrowing her eyebrows together.

"I don't know what you're talking about and she hasn't told me anything. If you're really worried like you claim that you are then you should that it up with your girlfriend instead of me" I said reclaiming my arm from her.

I don't know what that bitch expected me but there's no way in hell that I'm gonna be her Rachel Berry encyclopedia to figure out what's going on with her girlfriend because it's none of my business. The last thing that I'm going to do is help the one person that stole my girl from me… whoa my girl? When did Berry become my girl? God, I need to hit the gym stat.

I walked to the loft, changing into a black sports bra and black sweatpants before heading over to the Raul's Gym a few blocks over to that there's a few people working with the music playing throughout the place. I found this place a few weeks ago and the old man that runs it is an old retire boxing trainer that lost sight in his right eye way back when but he always had a smile on his face. He reminded me of my Abuelo when he was life and I found myself drawn to him, listening to his stories about the Vietnam War and all of his old comrades that he served with his youth.

I walked past the office when I hear Raul call my name as I poked my head through the already open door to see him sitting in his worn out rolling chair. He has a sheepish grin on his face and knew that he needed my help with something because he's always asking me to do something and normally I don't mind but I really want to punch something.

"What?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Come seat for second, there's something that I need to talk to you about" Raul said gesturing to the chair across from him.

I walked into the office, seating across from the old man that has taken me under his wing and treated me better than my own family has, knowing that I would do anything that he would ask of me without hesitation. I took a good at Raul to see the stress and fatigue was wearing heavily on him lately even through he's tried to hide from me more times than I can count now as I've tried to get the old vet to slow it down a bit but he's just as stubborn as I am.

"Santana, you know that I don't have any children which is my biggest regret in life but when I met you and took you under my wing, you've been like a daughter to me. You love this place just as much as I do" Raul said smiling fondly.

"You've been good to me too but where are you going with this?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm not going to be around forever and I can't run this place by myself as much as I would like. I managed to pay the gym completely so I'm asking you if anything happens to me that you'll take over for me"

"W-What? You want me to take over? Me?" I asked gesturing to me.

"Yes, you. I trust you that you'll keep this place in tip-top shape and there's no one that I trust more than you. What do you say?" Raul replies with a raise of his eyebrow.

"Y-Yes but are you sick or something? Do you need to go to the doctor?" I asked frowning.

"No, it's nothing like that. Just a wish of an old man that wants his legacy to live and be in the right hands" Raul said waving me off. "Work out or something"

I furrow my eyebrows slightly as I get up from my seat, walking out of the office looking over my shoulder to see Raul slumping his chair as he looks at the old picture that sits on his desk longingly. What was that all about? I shake my head before wrapping up my hands then unleashing my rage and fury on the punching bag as it creaks slightly under the barrage of fists, pouring everything that I got into my moves thinking back all the crap that I have to put up with.

I don't know how I have been at this but by the time that I left the gym, it was already dark and I jogged to the loft before I ran into any creeps got any bright idea to find Rachel and Dani, seating on the loveseat wrapped up in their conversation that they didn't notice walking through the front door. I was almost to my room when the diva looked up to see me before getting up to block my way as I raise an eyebrow at her then rolling my eyes as I picked her up by the waist, effectively moving her out of the way. I walked into my room, throwing my backpack off to the side not caring where it landed before going through my dresser to get clothes to change into when Rachel walks into my room with a frown on her face as grabs me by the wrist, dragging me out.

"What the hell crawled up your ass, Berry?" I asked frowning.

"Really Santana? Calling me by my last name? I thought that we were past all of that" Rachel said crossing her arms over her chest.

"What do you want from me? I'm tired and I'm not in the mood to deal with whatever this is" I said getting annoyed.

"You're changed"

"What? Changed? Changed how?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"We don't hang out anymore and you've been acting distant lately. Are you upset with me? I did do something to make you pull away from me" Rachel asked looking up at me with tear forming in her eyes.

I feel my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach and I hate seeing Rachel crying even more so that I'm the cause of it because I thought if I put enough between us that things would return to normal or as normal as things could get with us. I run a hand through my hair, sighing to myself before reaching out and pulling the smaller girl into a tight hug as she melts into the embrace as I rub my hand along her back as she lets out small hiccups.

"You didn't do anything okay. I'm just… dealing with some heavy stuff right now, okay"

"Promise?" Rachel asked looking up at me hopeful.

"You have my word" I said patting on the top of her head affectionately.

"San, you know that I hate it when you do that" Rachel said swatting away my hand.

"Yeah, that's why I do it Hobbit" I said laughing.

Rachel pouts as she crosses her arms over her chest but the smile tugging at the edge of her lips gives her away that she's not really upset with me as I turn to go back to room when I feel something grabbing my wrist. I looked down to see that it's the diva and before I could ask her what's wrong, a pair of lips are pressed against my own and I frozen in the moment because it didn't register in my brain that the girl that I'm hopelessly in love with is kissing me until I feel her pull away.

I grabbed the back of her head, smashing our lips together once again as she lets out a small moan as I nibble on bottom lip as she parts her lips, allowing me access to her mouth and she really does tastes like berry. The moment ended when Dani decided to make her presence known to everyone in the room and I become aware of what I was doing as I pulled from the petite singer as she lets out a discontent whimper, slowly opening her eyes to see her brown eyes darken with lust and something that I couldn't put my finger on.

Seriously?! What the fuck in wrong with me?! Kissing someone in front of their girlfriend? I though that I put that behind me. I disentangled myself from Rachel and was about to run into my room, locking myself inside permanently when a pair of arms wrap themselves around my waist cementing me in place as I tried to fight to get loose but it didn't work as the diva tighten her grip on me.

"Let me go, Rach" I said struggling against her

"San please, listen to me" Rachel begged.

"No, I can't. I can't do this with you, I just can't" I said shaking my head.

"I'm not losing you. I won't let you run away from me… I love you"

"W-What? You what?" I said shocked but quickly scoffed. "Right like a friend"

"I said that I love you, Santana and no, not like a friend. More like a lover" Rachel said walking around me to face me fully.

"Rachel, you have a girlfriend and you just kissed me in front of" I said shaking my head. "You can't love me"

"And why not?" Rachel asked frowning.

"Cause you're dating someone"

"I'm right here and I don't mind Rachel dating you as long as I get to date you too" Dani said smirking.

"What? Who said that I wanted to date you?" I asked frowning.

"If you give me a chance, you'll see why. Look Santana, I know that you didn't like me very much when Rachel and I started date, hell I was pretty sure that you hated me from all the dirty looks that you threw my way but I do like you a lot" Dani said taking my free hand. "I like Rachel too and she thought if we should tried a three way relationship"

"What?" I asked turning my attention to Rachel.

"I knew that I love you for awhile now Santana. It took me while to figure out when you started to pull away from me and I felt guilty about it because I'm Dani but then I looked up polygamous relationship. I found that there're more common than you would think and it would mean that if you chose to be of it that all three of us would equal say and all of us will have to agree on whatever decision needs to made" Rachel rambles.

"So let me get this straight, the two of you want to date me?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes" Rachel and Dani said in agreement.

"I don't know about this" I said scratching my head.

This is a lot to take in and I don't know what to since I never been in this kind of situation before.

"Look, I know that that this is a lot to take in why don't you take some time and think about it" Dani said squeezing my hand reassuringly.

"Yeah and I'll get back to you with my decision"

Rachel looks at me for a moment before pulling me into another hug then pressing her lips against my cheek as Dani follows suit then moving into the living room as I walked into my room. I feel more confused than I have felt in my life and I don't know what I should be doing or what the right decision but all I know is that I have a chance with the diva but that means the guitarist is apart of the deal and I don't know if I want to be in a relationship too. God, my life feels like a telenovela.

I'm not sure if I should keep this as one shot or added another chapter so I'm gonna let you guys decided if I should continue it or not. Let me know what you think

~Nicole The Dragon Rider signing off

The End