Summary: Emma and Neal get into an argument when he finds her practicing magic. After, she finds herself seeking out the captain of the Jolly Roger.
clarity
If our love's insanity,
why are you my clarity?
Emma narrowed her eyes at the object sitting innocently on the ground a few feet away from her. She might have been going crazy, but it seemed like the apple stared back, mocking her failure as it sat there, motionless. She took a deep, steadying breath, ready to try again. She raised her hand, reaching out to the apple and concentrated everything she had, willing whatever magic was within her to lift the apple up in the air. She could feel it surfacing, surging sluggishly through her, and as she watched the apple, it wobbled, turning over on the ground in her direction. Her eyes widening in surprise but she remained focused. One flick of her wrist and the apple would zoom straight into her hand she just knew—
"Use the Force, Luke."
—it.
The interruption broke all of her concentration, and the apple lay still on the ground, mocking her once again.
"Dammit!" Emma swore, slapping her hands against her thighs. She glared up at the source of the interruption from where she sat cross-legged on the grass. "Seriously, what the hell? I was this close!"
"Sorry," Neal said, looking only the slightest bit contrite. "Couldn't resist."
Emma huffed angrily and ignored the hand he offered her up. She had spent the last two hours trying to summon that stupid piece of fruit into her hand like Regina had tried to show her, and now Neal had managed to ruin her only semi-successful attempt.
"Yeah, thanks for that," Emma bit out, gritting her teeth in frustration.
"What're you doing, anyway?" he asked, leaning against a tree.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Emma said, not giving a crap about her tone. Neal and her were on relatively okay terms most of the time; however, now was not one of those times. She stretched her hand out again, remember what Regina had said about distractions when they'd been in Neverland. "I'm practicing."
"Why?"
He broke her focus again with his question. She turned to look at him, brow furrowed in confusion. "I mean, I have this power in me for a reason, right?" she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "I might as well learn how to use it."
Neal scrunched up his face like she'd said something unpleasant. "At what cost, though, Em?" he asked. "You know what they say, 'Magic always—,'"
"'Comes with a price', I know," Emma finished, struggling hard not to roll her eyes. "We can worry about that after we take down this bitch."
Neal let out a frustrated noise. "There has to be another way, though," Neal told her, pushing off of the tree and crouching next to her. "Magic destroyed my family, Emma. It twisted my father into an evil, power hungry man, a man who pulled the heart out of his own wife's chest and crushed it in his hand."
"Wait a sec, are you trying to tell me that you're afraid I'm going to turn evil?" Emma asked him incredulously. She scoffed. "I could be freakin' Glinda the Good Witch for all you know since she's nowhere to be found."
"This isn't a joke."
"Does it look like I'm laughing?" she retorted, standing up suddenly. Her patience was wearing thin with this conversation. She grabbed her apple off the ground, tucking it into the pocket of her tunic.
"I'm just trying to look out for you," Neal pressed, rising as well.
"Yeah, well, I can look out for myself just fine, thanks," Emma said with a tight smile. "Been doing it for years."
She had turned to leave when he grabbed her wrist. She nearly broke her neck whipping her head around to glare at him.
"If you won't think about yourself, at least think about Henry," Neal said, and Emma's mouth slowly fell open in disbelief. "I don't want him growing up the way I did."
"How dare you," Emma snapped, ripping her arm away from him. "Everything I do, I do for Henry. Not a second of the day goes by when him and his safety isn't on my mind. He's my number one priority."
"And my father became the Dark One to protect me," Neal countered. "So think about that the next time you're practicing your magic."
He walked off, leaving her stunned and unsure in the middle of the courtyard.
Neal's words stuck in her head all day despite her intention to ignore them. Did he really believe that she would turn into a manipulative, power hungry beast like his father? Or that she had the potential to be as evil and vengeful as Regina had been? Emma tried to imagine it but only managed to concoct in her head an image of herself in one of the former Evil Queen's ridiculous dresses.
She went through the motions of the day like a zombie, fending off her parents' worries queries with hollow sounding reassurances that she was fine. Henry too noticed that she wasn't her usual self, but she was able to play it off as exhaustion. After all, it had not been an easy two months since they'd come to the Enchanted Forest.
Just before dinner she decided to take a walk outside of the castle walls. She ambled around the forest aimlessly until her feet finally picked a direction. It was really no surprise to her that she ended up where she did, standing at the bottom of the gangplank of the ship belonging to the one person who'd always believed in her and managed to make her believe in herself.
"Swan?"
She raised her eyes slowly up to the deck of the Jolly Roger where she saw Hook gazing at her in concern. Somehow just seeing him made her feel better, and she idly wondered when she'd started to feel that way.
"Permission to come aboard?" she asked wryly.
"Granted," Hook said with a sweeping bow.
Emma climbed aboard hesitantly, not quite sure what she was going to say. Magic had never been good to Hook; what if he agreed with Neal?
"To what do I owe this honor?" he asked, turning to her from where he'd been tying down some rigging. The smile faded from his face as he took her in, and he moved closer as if to brace her from a blow. "What's wrong, love? You look shaken. Is it your lad?"
"No, Henry's fine," Emma assured him, hastily, trying to ignore the warmth that spread through her at his concern. "It's, it's nothing. Well, it's something, but—" She sighed, shutting her eyes tightly for a moment, before opening them and meeting his concerned stare. "I could use a drink."
He surprisingly said nothing in reply, instead studying her face so intently that she could feel the heat rising to her cheeks at his scrutiny. After a long moment, he nodded, gesturing that she follow him with a cock of his head. He led her not to the crew quarters where they'd shared a drink in Neverland, but to his cabin. Ever the gentleman, Hook let her climb down the ladder first, which gave her a minute to observe her surroundings. She'd only been in the captain's quarters once and she'd been more focused on watching the steady rise and fall of her son's chest while he slept (not knowing that'd he been Pan at the time) than examining Hook's cabin.
It was remarkably plain for a pirate as flashy as Hook, she thought, though she hardly knew what she'd been expecting. Perhaps treasure strewn here and there, bottles of rum, and a larger, more ostentatious bed, if she had to name a few. But no, Hook kept the room relatively sparse, with a pragmatically sized bed, a simple wooden table that doubled as a desk, and a plain armoire tucked away in the corner. The only objects that stuck out to her were the books that lined the shelf along the window and the maps spread out across the table.
"Do my quarters pass your inspection, m'lady?"
"I suppose they'll do," Emma said, adapting a haughty tone, pretending for a second that she was actually the princess everyone wanted her to be.
Hook chuckled warmly, moving to his armoire. He opened the doors and she heard the clink of glasses behind them.
"Have you really read all of these?" she asked, moving over to the windows. She traced her fingers over the spines of the books, not recognizing any of the titles.
"Yes, some of them several times over," he answered, carrying two tumblers to the table, a bottle of liquor, rum she guessed, tucked in the crook of his arm. "I had to keep my mind sharp in Neverland somehow."
"How long were you there for?" Emma asked, turning back to him.
"An upwards of three hundred years," he told her, pouring both of them a generous portion of amber liquid as Emma tried to process his words. He pulled her chair out, only sitting down once she had. From across the table, he pinned her with a look. "Now, I know you didn't come here to ask me about my adventures in Neverland. Tell me what's upset you, love."
"Drink first," she insisted, lifting her glass. "What're we cheersing to?"
"Hmm," Hook hummed, tapping his chin contemplatively. He looked her over before lifting his glass up. "To good company."
He tipped his head to her and she managed a slight smile. "I'll drink to that," she said quietly, clinking her glass with his. She threw her head back, welcoming the burn of alcohol down her throat. When she rested her tumbler back on the table again, more than half the rum was gone.
"I got into a fight with Neal."
Hook was quiet for a long moment, staring down at the table with an inscrutable look on his face. "I see," he finally said, throwing back the rest of his rum. "And what brought on this quarrel exactly?"
"He found me practicing magic," Emma said, fingers gripping her glass tightly. "He said some things...well, normally I would ignore them, but I don't know, I can't this time."
"Emma," Hook murmured, laying his good hand over her free one. He expression had lost its hard edge and his eyes were soft and concerned.
"Do you think I could turn evil?" she asked in a quiet voice. "Do you think my learning magic could corrupt me like it did Rumplestiltskin and Regina? Do you think I could ever become like them?"
Hook was shaking his head back and forth even before she'd finished speaking. "I'm going to beat Baelfire's bloody face in the next time I see him," he all but growled. His blue eyes seared into hers, and he changed the grip of their hands so that their fingers were entwined. "You will never be like them, Emma. Never. Don't you think on it for a second."
"What makes me so different from them?" Emma asked him. "Neal told me his father became the Dark One to protect him, and Mary Margaret has always said that Regina wasn't always evil. It kind of seems like magic's the common denominator there."
"The difference, darling, is that we're not talking about them," Hook said fiercely. "We're talking about you. And I don't mean Savior Emma or Emma, the product of One True Love. I mean, you, Emma Swan. You are a good person, about as good as they get I would wager, and having magic won't change that."
"But what if it does?" she persisted.
"The fact that you're here asking that question proves that it won't," he told her, leaning as far over the table as he could. "The Dark One, Regina, Cora; they all suffered from a lack of love. It left a hole in each of their hearts. But you, Emma, you have so many people around you who love you: your mother and father, Henry, Baelfire—"
"You?"
The word left her mouth unchecked, and at the surprised widening of his eyes, she wished she could pull it out of the air and stuff it back in. She expected a quip from him, but he surprised her by simply drawing her hand up to his lips and placing a tender kiss on the back of her palm. His expression held a vulnerability to it that she'd never seen on him before.
"Aye, me."
They'd never talked about when he'd attempted True Love's Kiss back in New York, but it'd always been there in the back of her mind. The only thing she knew was that he'd been that sure of his own feelings to try it. The depth of his affection for her had scared her at first, but it had gradually become a comfort. It made her feel lighter and confident, like she could do anything as long as he loved and believed in her. There had never been time to explore what was between them, what with one crisis bleeding into the next. Even now, with the impending battle against the Wicked Witch drawing closer and closer, it still didn't seem like the right moment. There was a part of her though, that longed to make sure he knew his feelings weren't unrequited.
"Believe you me, Swan," Hook said, holding her gaze. "I have no great love of magic; been burned by it too many times, I suppose, but you've been given a gift, and it will only become a curse if you let it."
The heavy weight that had been Neal's words seemed to lift off of her shoulders. Emma wished Hook's words were tangible so that she could pull them close, let them surround her with their truth, and carry them with her every day. She let out a shaky breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, before nodding her head. She downed the rest of her rum, laying the empty glass on the table.
She was on her feet suddenly, and he followed suite, watching her as she scooted around the table and opening his arms just in time to receive her. Her arms wrapped around his back tightly and, after a second of surprise, his did the same.
"Thank you," Emma breathed, laying her head against his chest.
"For what, love?"
"For always telling me exactly what I need to hear."
She gave him last squeeze before pulling back slightly, resting her hands lightly against his chest. His eyes traveled the circuit from hers to her lips and back, and she gave him what she hoped was an encouraging look. He didn't need much more of a hint before gently pressing his lips to hers. The kiss couldn't have been more different than their first back in Neverland but this one was no less meaningful. This was slow and tender, almost chaste, and full of love rather than pure lust. The kiss held the promise of important conversations and many more embraces to come.
"When this is all over—" Emma began, when they broke away from each other.
"I would wait for you for forever," he vowed, cupping her cheek in his hand.
"I'm not asking for forever," she told him. "I'm just asking for a little more time."
"And time you shall have," Hook assured her. "I am yours already, body and soul, Emma, and when I make you mine, I want you to have no doubts. Because once you are mine, I am never letting you go.
She smiled the first real smile she had all day, feeling like she could have summoned a hundred apples then if she'd wanted to.
"Good."
A/N: I just love this pairing so much. CS is PERFECT! Please review and let me know what you think! :)