When L'Gaan died, it was as though a massive weight had been pressed on my heart, crushing me slowly.

I called that weight guilt.

Guilt because I could've saved him.

Guilt because the last hours he lived were full of pain and heartbreak.

Guilt because he could have lived a happy and long life.

But, like most good things in this world, L'Gaan was gone in one swift swipe.

I suppose one good thing has come out of L'Gann's death-

Superboy.

Since L'Gann's passing, we've become closer. Superboy's friend Wendy also died the same time as L'Gaan did, so you could say we were helping each other.

Sometimes we would just sit next to each other in silence, drowning quietly in our thoughts.

Some people don't realise the pain of loss until it actually happens to them.

When I watched L'Gaan's eyes close for the last time, memories flashed before my eyes like lightning.

Me and L'Gaan sleeping under the stars.

Me and L'Gaan watching a movie.

Me and L'Gaan getting Ice Cream.

Little things like this can cause damage, kind of like a paper cut.

It's small, but it stings.

As I was sat next to his lifeless body, I realised something.

I realised that at one point, I'd truly loved L'Gaan.

At one point he wasn't just a distraction from Superboy and my aching heart.

And god, I wished I'd told him that.

'M'Gaan!'

I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard a voice yell my name.

I knew immediately who it was.

'What?' I said, staring at him angrily.

'Sorry.' He said sheepishly. 'You zoned out. Again.'

'It's not like you don't do it. We both do. It's called grieving.'

'Jesus Christ.' He said, head in his hands.

I stared at him.

'That word, M'Gaan. Grieving.'

'What about it?'

'M'Gaan, L'Gaan died a year ago. Do you still think that I'm spending all this time with you just to... mourn? Hell, I wasn't even that close to Wendy.'

'What?'

He sighed.

'When Wendy died, initially I was sad. I was grieving. She understood me and I understood her. But she always said to me that when she dies I'm not to mourn, but to celebrate her life.'

'Wow, I didn't know that.'

'M'Gaan, truth be told, I got over Wendy six months ago.'

I put my head in my hands.

'Then why are you still here?' I snapped.

Konner (Superboy) looked at me sadly.

'Because I knew you were still grieving. Because I didn't want to leave you hurting. Because...'

'Yes?'

He took a deep breath.

'Because... I love you.'

I inhaled sharply. I couldn't get hurt.

Not again.

Even though my feelings for him were the same as his feelings for me, I somehow felt it was too soon after L'Gaan.

I looked at him angrily.

'Why now?!' I yelled. 'Couldn't you have told me that before you dumped me and left me heartbroken?'

Konner looked down.

'It was just... when you moved on so quickly, I thought that meant that you were over me...'

'L'Gaan was a distraction! A distraction from you and my fucking dumbass heart that still can't not love you!' I screamed.

The weight made its final, painful push and pushed down so hard on my heart that a single, salty tear escaped from my eye.

I got up and ran to my room, tears stinging my wet cheeks. I could hear Konner running after me.

I lay face down on my bed, ashamed that Konner could see me in such a state.

I felt someone sit on the bed next to me.

'Go away.' I mumbled.

'No. I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving you ever again.'

I sat up, staring at him.

I took a deep breath.

'Do you really thing we would work?' I said.

Konner smiled, wiping a tear off my cheek.

'If you believe so, then so do I.'

I smiled as he kissed me.

It wasn't a kiss that was hungry for more, it was a kiss that sent sparks flying in every direction, a kiss that connected us in so many ways. It was mixed with salty tears and love, like a perfect recipe.

And as our lips parted, and I looked into Konner's eyes, I no longer saw a girl who was sad and broken. I saw me.

And I was smiling.

First story

Probably not the best but it'll do.

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