A little oneshot to remind you that I still live :)
He puts his head in his hands; words don't come to him easily today (not that they ever did)
He puts his head in his hands; words don't come to him easily today (not that they ever did). It was as if he had a hard lump in his throat, restricting his words, making him choke on every syllable. This isn't like him you muse. He's always so precise. Curt due to absolute efficiency: he never wastes precious words, whatever he says he means.
It makes you wonder what's happened to rid Uchiha Sasuke of his senses. You wonder why his alabaster skin is paler than usual. Sallow in dusk's rosy glow. Dark eyes that so often look like endless pits stare at nothing vacant of that proud demeaning glint; their usual infinite depths seem shallow today. A dull grey sheen has settled across obsidian irises just like fog. He looks like a waxwork; a brilliant copy of the original but just a fake at the end of the day.
You want to go to him, to put a hand on his shoulder and murmur in his ear that it will be alright. Fearing his crass rejections you linger a few feet away, trying to steal subtle glances at his solemn face. You always end up hiding from him- his resilience to your advances has taken its toll. You've become somewhat of an introvert- hardly speaking anymore. Friends have commented on your half smile, claiming it to be "cold" or "just like his" but they don't understand- you were trying your best to hide the hurt that threatens to crack your calm mask.
Sasuke has one two; you've always admired his stoicism in difficult situations. His façade never cracks- only when angry or smug. Most of the time he manages to keep himself in check only losing it when all else seems lost or when he's proved himself superior once more. Wait! A small gasp escapes your trembling lips when you see the first fissure appear, shattering his act. His disguise peels away as a single tear rolls down an ashen cheek.
You've never seen anything more terrifying. The crystal rolls down smooth skin as easily as oil over water. It's both beautiful and earth shattering. The tear catches on his chin for a moment before dropping away. He's never cried before, never given in to the most shameful of emotions: grief. Not being able to stand it anymore you stride forward; ready to comfort him.
Placing a palm on his elbow you hope he'll give into you and let you past his walls. A little, sharp stab just behind your lungs as he ignores you. A constriction of the chest when he turns his head from you, concealing his emotions.
Sasuke! I'm sorry
Your apology hangs heavily in the air thick like smog. Yet he does not respond, he only shakes from trying to contain his raw sorrow. Black hair clings to his forehead; damp with sweat. Only now do you notice that he does not look well. Maybe the illness was making him like this. But why had he not come to you as a medic to help him. Your throat tightens as the horror of realisation hits you. He must not respect your medic skills enough.
Now you turn away and walk to the crypts to drown yourself in your sorrows. You're unable to stand his rejections now. He doesn't watch you go. He doesn't acknowledge your fading presence only continues to cry softly- something you'd never dream he'd do. You don't hear his next words. And you won't understand for weeks to come why you keep meeting him in this cemetery. But that's ok, after all, you've got eternity to figure it out.
Sakura… I never meant for this to happen. I never had the chance to save you. I'm so sorry.
Maybe soon you'll look to see what his distant gaze was fixed upon. Then you'll read the gravestone with growing apprehension and dread. Subsequently you'll learn of your fate; to exist in death as you did in life. All alone and longing to be with Sasuke. You might find small comfort when- in the distant future as an aged and pathetic old man, hunched with defeat- Sasuke will confess to no one in particular that he'll always remember you as beautiful in your solitude.
If only he could see me now
Well yeah. Sorry if that was completely terrible- trying out the angst thing but I'm about as angsty as Walking On Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves :P
By the way guys check out Damleg's work on deviantart if you like SasuSaku :) It's so good. The translations are usually in the comments or the artist's comments :D
Read and Review Please :)