[Disclaimer: It all belongs to Lois McMaster Bujold.
A/N: Weird plotbunny that hit me while suffering from writer's block on Dark Elf, my current baby.]
It was just another job. So I thought when yet another desperate soul petitioned my master for justice. Sometimes the Bastard grants it, sometimes He doesn't. This time it was granted, so I was dispatched to Cardegoss.
The first soul collection went as usual. Of course, he wasn't happy, but he couldn't fight me and I would give him into the tender care of my master soon enough. Then I went after the assassin, which was when things started to get confusing.
I reached, caught hold, but then I was grabbed by something. I was trapped in a bubble of blue light with a very upset soul, inside a very confused assassin.
Actually, I'm not sure who was more confused, me or the assassin. Death miracles are always the same; I get called, I come, I take two souls, I deliver them to Hell, end of story. Only this time, I ended up with only one soul. The other was still very much anchored in his body.
All right, I told myself, This man will die eventually. I will just have to wait. Now, I can give him a little push...
I did try to convince him that it would be a relief to die, but his sense of honor kept him from letting go of the roof. I tried various things, but the stubborn man just refused to die. Then the idiot in the bubble with me started screaming.
I wasn't doing anything to him. I collect the souls; the real torture in the Bastard's Hell is the loss of self, though why these humans are so concerned that they remain themselves is another thing that confuses me. I suppose I'll never understand these folk, or the "real" demons either.
So there I was, trapped in a bubble of blue light with a weeping and wailing idiot, while I tried to convince our host that he should die. It was a very, very long few months.
And when I finally did get out, I didn't get the right soul. Actually, I just snatched the nearest soul, which happened to belong to someone other than the assassin.
Oh well. At least I finally got out of that blue stuff. I never want to smell a spring flower again. I was beginning to feel like one after a while. And demons just are not supposed to be that sweet.