Disclaimer: I don't own Code Lyoko, its characters or any of the shows and commercials I spoof of. I only own Jet and Tekirai, the shows and products I make up and the general story plot.
Man, I'm a fanfic machine this weekend! Once again, everyone's favourite authoress got another crazy idea. How I got the idea? A mix of flicking through the channels randomly saying BOO at everything and I watched channel 999 for two hours straight. SO MANY RANDOM DOGS..POKING..BUTTONS…(twitch)
Anyway, this fanfic will have news reports, commercials for all sorts of stuff, reality shows, game shows, behind-the-scenes-scenes and probably a load of other crap I can't think of right now- CL style! All the characters will be in this. Yes! That means XANA, Sissi (BOO!), William (DOUBLE BOO!), Jim and Mr Delmas! Wee.
Maybe when I get good at drawing I'll draw a few scenes and make it into a movie...thingy.
Profiles of Jet and Tekirai since I'll be too lazy to write it in the story:
Name: Jet
Gender: Male
Description: Pokemon fans out there should know what a Latios looks like? Think of one of those with human legs. But umm you probably don't. White head with feathery ears, blue facemask marking with red eyes, white arms that have blue glove-like things at the wrist and hands. Often wears a white shirt with a blue over jacket, blue feathery pants and white shoes. Has a blue tail and blue wings. Sometimes wears a red bandana on his head.
Name: Tekirai
Gender: Female
Description: Looks like a Latias, or just like Jet except red where he's blue with yellow eyes, is a little smaller. Often wears a red shirt and a black skirt, sometimes a red bandanna on her head. Her and Jet will be described as Eons in the story.
This would be easier to write if I could write it in script format, but somebody mean out there might report me. Waa.
Tekirai and Jet burst through the door of the casts' lounge room…thing.
'OK everyone! Are y'all ready?'
…
'…guys?'
Silence.
'GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASSES ALREADY! Why do you have this light off anyway?'
Click.
The once dark room lit up instantly at the flip of a switch, literally. It displayed all of the CL cast lounging around.
'Light! It burns us!' Odd moaned, shielding his eyes.
Sissi was fast asleep with a girly magazine on her head that covered her face. Ulrich and Yumi were sitting next to each other, with Ulrich staring at the ceiling and Yumi was doodling something in a notebook, which we can't see. Odd was eating candy, Jeremie was tapping away on his laptop and chattering to Aelita every now and then. Jim was reading another sumo magazine and Mr Delmas was staring out the window. William glanced at Yumi and Ulrich every now and then from his seat away from everyone else like the little emo boy he is.
Tekirai looked at Sissi. 'Won't someone wake her up?
'I've got it,' said Jet. He stood up and walked over to a lamp, picked it up and walked over to Sissi.
'WAKEY WAKEY!' he screamed while slamming it over the poor girl's head, causing an unnamed injury. But the author doesn't care about the actors' pain, 'cause it's funny anyway.
'WAAAH! WHAT'S GOING ON?' Sissi screamed, before seeing Jet's face right in front of her.
'A little advice: don't nap before a TV shoot. Then you never wake up, and you experience the wrath of random objects of torture.'
Sissi snorted.
He stood up again and clapping his hands. 'Ok people! Get up and smell the broccoli! We've got a big day today!'
'Remind me again why we're doing this?' Ulrich grumbled as he stood up and stretched.
Tekirai glared at him. 'Because everyone likes money. And money is nice. Isn't that right everyone?'
'…yes..?'
'Good!'
Jet was suddenly dressed in a general's suit. 'Ok now troops, hup-hup!'
'Hup-hup!' Everyone but Mr Delmas and William replied as they saluted before marching out the door.
Jet met up with Tekirai again. 'Are you sure this is right?'
''Course it is. TV is made to be watched and enjoyed, right?'
'I guess so.'
Tekirai turned to everyone else before opening a door in the hallway.
'Well everyone, this is it. The door that leads to TV land. Today is the day that TV Lyoko will officially be on the air!'
'HURRAH!' Everyone cheered (William said nothing) as they stormed through the door.
Jet walked onto the screen.
'Hello everyone!' he said, 'Welcome to TV Lyoko! All the good funniness of Code Lyoko in every show possible!'
Tekirai popped up beside him from…somewhere.
'Our goal is to give CL fans all over the world a taste of pure spoof humor in the form of everyday shows and all sorts of crap!'
Jet shoved her out of the way. 'Coming up! A special news bulletin from our studios! Starring: ME!'
'Hey! What about me?'
'Don't worry Teki, you'll be there too.'
'YAY!'
'You get to be savaged by the angry mobs in the news story!'
'YA- huh?'
Deedee deedee duhduhduhduh duhduh duhduhduhduh..DUM! (my attempt at music in literacy form)
Jet appeared on the screen wearing a blue suit thingy.
'Good afternoon, you're watching TV Lyoko with the Pointless News Network. I'm name.'
Crickets chirp.
The cameraman groaned. 'You say your own name. Plus, you sound like a teacher.'
Jet slapped his forehead. 'Aw crud, let me try that again.'
(crappy intro music again)
'Hello peoples! This is Jet Bluepelt with the Pointless News Network!'
'Today's top story: Millions of angry fans crowd around Cartoon Network Studios USA as they once again screw up the schedule! Many people are aggravated by the fact that the season two episode, 'Temptation', hasn't aired as planned 589628 times since the schedule is absolute crap! Some say CN is drunk, some say they can't count, and well, others and everyone including yours truly at TV Lyoko studios think that CN are just plain sucky morons. Here's Tekirai dodging flaming pitchforks at the scene.'
'Tekirai, what's happening at your end?'
---
Yells and rants were heard as Tekirai ran around screaming, shielding her head with the microphone.
'HELP! THEY'VE GOT MALLETS AND SHOVELS! MERCY, MERCY!' she screamed before more fans attacked the camera. One of them being a girl around 11.
'HI MOM!' she said, waving.
'Where's me mallot? I can't screw up a news report without me mallot!' (Angelbolt, if you're reading this you know who this is!)
---
Jet was speechless for a moment. 'Ermm…more angry mobness after the break!' he said waving before running off the set.
It's hotter than the author's microwave at Kadic, and the Lyoko gang are complaining about the heat.
'I'm so hot, my brain's melted…' Jeremie groaned.
Ulrich tripped over himself and landed face first. He said hi to the floor. 'HI FLOOR! MAKE ME A SANDWICH!'
Yumi wiped the sweat off her forehead. 'Odd ate all our popsicles, I guess we're all gonna die.'
Suddenly, a giant rainbowy flash appeared! Pretty!
A man in a popsicle costume popped out.
'Hey kids! Are you hot?'
'What does it look like?' Aelita screamed before fanning herself with Jeremie's laptop, which was very light somehow.
'Then you should try our new product from Freezeco, THE RANDOM OBJECT FLAVOURED ICE POP!'
'Wow!' Everyone said in wonder as the popsicle man handed them out to everyone.
Yumi licked hers. 'Mine tastes like my cat's teeth!' she exclaimed.
'Mine tastes like a floppy disk! COOL!' Jeremie said in amazement.
'Mine tastes PHONE flavoured!' said Odd in delight.
'Mine tastes like pink pom-poms!' Aelita said happily.
Ulrich was more delighted than the other four combined 'MINE'S FLOOR/SANDWICH FLAVOURED! HELL YEAH!'
The popsicle man turned to the camera. 'Brand new Random Flavoured Object Pops! Now available in Christmas Tree flavour for the new holiday season!'
Then XANA randomly appeared in his magic black smoke. 'Hey! Can I have one?'
'Sure!' the man said smiling, holding out one of the icy treats for the demonic AI to taste.
It covered it for a second before floating back. 'YUMMEH! It tastes like toilet!'
Then everyone started to sing some crappy jingle.
'If you don't want your summer to be hot and sticky,
Go to a store and buy me!
And have a…licky! (ping)'
(yay! Crappy news intro music!)
Nobody was in the chair.
'SORRYSORRYSORRY!' was heard as Jet ran back onto the set holding a Starbucks cup.
'Sorry! They didn't give me my damn latte!' He said quickly before looking at the camera.
'Oh! We're on the air? Welcome back to the Pointless News Network! Now Tekirai, any updates on the angry mob?'
---
Tekirai had visible scratches and bite marks all over her.
'Well Jet, it looks like the angry mob has taken control. As you can see up there-'
The camera pointed up at the sky, where we can see a helicopter.
'-a group of crazy internet personalities have united along with other fellow CL fans to make some kind of bomb. It looks like it's dro- OH MY GOD! HELP, WE'RE ALL GONNA-'
(static)
---
'Uhh, Tekirai? …Tekirai? TEKI!'
Jet sweatdropped and smiled at the camera. 'Don't worry! Just a simple camera fault! Eheh, oh hi Tekirai! Whatcha doin' with that- uh, Teki?'
Tekirai glared at him, coffee table raised.
'GAH! TEKI-CHAN! NOT SO CLOSE-'
---
(happy music is played)
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE WAIT (insert time here).
IN THE MEANTIME, WATCH THIS BUMBLEBEE.
...buzz buzz buzz...
...buzz buzz buzz...
...buzz buzz buzz...
THANK YOU FOR WAITING. BACK TO THE SHOW.
---
Tekirai was now sitting in Jet's chair.
'We apologize for the short interval. Now, umm…there's nothing else going on. Let's have a look in my pocket!'
She whizzed back in the chair and stuck her hand in her pocket.
'Let's see…a sapphire, a leprechaun's empty pot, rainbow-in-a-glass, my cellphone, some catnip…'
Tekirai froze. 'CATNIP!' She looked at it hungrily.
And then she ate it.
'HAHAHAHAHATASTYNESS!' she screamed before running off the set.
…
…I think we should just stop now.
(crappy intro music again)
Ulrich breathed slowly. In. Out. In. Out.
He focused all his energy onto the ground in front of him.
He brought his hands together, and-
Then all the characters from Avatar: The Last Airbender appeared!
Ulrich wasn't too happy. 'Hey! You guys are stealing my bit!'
They did all sorts of elementy moves before Ulrich whizzed across the screen with a big broom and swept them away somewhere.
'YAY! ALL GONE!'
He skipped back onto the screen and a computer appeared. He continued to smack the monitor as Jet's voice was heard in the background.
'In the world wide web, there have always been four tribes. BT Broadband, Virgin Extra, Crappy-Dialup-Online and Telewest Broadband, who all lived together in peace and harmony.'
'Until one day, Crappy-Online-Dialup crashed and declared war against all internet connections. Only one boy can stop the bandwidth terror. His HTML skills are great, but he has a lot to learn before he can do anything to stop it.'
'Because I believe, Ulrich can save the world…along with Mozilla Firefox, ZoneAlarm and Spybot: Search and Destroy.'
'Avatar: The Last Broken Image. Coming soon to Nick- I mean, TV Lyoko.'
'CURSE YOU, CRAPPY-ONLINE-DIALUP!' Ulrich screamed while bashing the keyboard, 'DAMNIT FIREFOX! YOU'VE FAILED MEEE!'
Tekirai pops up on a blank screen again like before.
'Well, how'd you like it so far?' she said in a perky voice.
Jet whizzed up beside her in a wheelchair. 'I made friends with Bob the coffee table!' He waved a broken table leg. 'He says hi.'
She stared at him. 'I'm going to pretend you didn't say anything and that you're still in the hospital.'
'Anyway, stay tuned to TV Lyoko! Coming up next time: it's getting closer to Christmas as everyone at TV Lyoko is preparing for the holiday spirit a little too early. Plus Aelita falls down. YAY!'
Jet spoke up again. 'Also, many more new shows are in development! I can't wait to see the premier of Avatar: The Last Broken Image!'
'See you next time!' They said together, before randomly kicking themselves.
My cat's chewing the scratching post and I'm sitting here wondering why. I like making Ulrich sound like a total moron, because I personally think he needs at least a little sense of humor. As I always say, please review and tell me what you think, hope you enjoyed it! Especially the angry mob part. xD