Dizzy

A/N: This is my first shot at House, M.D. fan fiction and the first piece of writing in a long time. I hope I did him justice and that the story's not too much of a cliché or out of character. I know the storyline's not exactly unique. Please tell me if you find any grammar or spelling mistakes, so I can correct them. And constructive criticism would help a lot. Thank you for reading.

Category: Drama/Humor

Rating: T

Spoilers: Post 2x6 Spin and Cuddy's nightgown from Humpty Dumpty makes a small but memorable appearance.

Summary: What were the chances of meeting her in a bar? On a Sunday at midnight? Very good chances apparently. House/Cuddy friendship. No pairings as of yet.

Disclaimer: Writing this is pointless. We all know I don't own anything related to House, M.D. Wishing doesn't account for owning. Oh, well.

---H.M.D---

"So, how about you and me leave this joint, gorgeous? I got something in my car; you might be interested in seeing. "

"Uh, I don't think so, Don."

Up until this point, one Gregory House was minding his own business; one could say a real rarity—and having an unsuccessful date with Jack, Daniels' that is.

He frowned. Why did that voice sound familiar? It almost sounds like—no it definitely sounds like Cuddy. No, it couldn't be. Miss Fun bags a.k.a. Party pants? No way!

What are the chances of meeting her in a bar; on a Sunday at midnight?

"Oh, come on. You might like it."

He turned his head in the direction of the voice.

Very good chances apparently.

There she was, talking to some guy, sporting a college jock look with blonde hair and a fake "I'm so pretty" smile. He kind of reminded him of Chase, but slightly taller, meaner and with greased hair, oh and without the cute accent.

"No, Don. Why don't you take me home. Okay?"

"Hey, you said you wanted to go somewhere."

"Well I didn't mean for you to take me to the sleaziest bar on Princeton!" her voice raised a bit and when he didn't back down she continued, "Fine! I'll call a cab."

She turned to leave but Blondie had other plans and grabbed her hand.

"Where are you going? We are not done here. Come on, I'll buy you a drink. It'll help you relax."

House rolled his eyes. The guy was a real sleaze. Where the hell did she find him?

Intervention was in order. He slowly got up from his bar stool, wincing from the stiffness in his leg and limped towards them. He felt slightly dizzy but seventh shot of whiskey could do that to you. He also had a couple of Vicodin, but who was counting? It was a real wonder he could still walk after this. Whoops, limp that is.

"I said no! Let go of my hand!"

She was seething, angry as hell. She rescued her arm from his grip but then he grabbed the other one.

"Some guys just can't take no for an answer." House stood right in front of them leaning on his cane. They looked in his direction. "What's up with that?" He made a grimace

"House," she said in surprise but he detected relief in her voice.

"House?" Don asked confused.

"Yeah, that's my name. Lame, I know. Good thing my mom didn't marry a "Home", 'cause I'm not a homely kind of guy."

Don gave him a cold look. "Stay out of this, old man. This is none of your business."

"Really? I think it is since you're messing with my girl friend." He deliberately stressed the friend part.

The guy a.k.a. Don, looked from House to Cuddy in confusion.

"You never mentioned a boyfriend?" Cuddy was still stunned that she stayed silent.

"You know I think she's embarrassed of me." Don looked back at him. "Aren't you muffin?" House gave her a pointed look.

For the first time in her life, Lisa Cuddy was speechless. She frowned in confusion.

"Oh, I think we're gonna need to have a little talk, missy." He said in a sing-song voice. "This is the third time."

The guy released her other arm and she straightened, moving away from him.

"Wait a minute! You lied to me?" Don asked her, his calm appearance pretty much gone to hell. He was throwing daggers with his eyes.

"I—" She started.

"Oh, what am I doing" House continued in an uncharacteristically soft voice, "I could never stay mad at you, muffin. Besides what would little Timmy do if you weren't there to change his water. You know that he doesn't like me. Almost bit of my finger the other day. Nasty little sucker. "

And then he shocked her by gently taking her elbow. "Come on, my 'bike's outside, he gave him a pointed look that said 'back off', "I'll take you home."

"I think I deserve an apology." Don moved closer to Cuddy and ignored House.

"Well that's weird, 'cause I think you don't." Cuddy looked like she was about to explode.

Uh-oh. House thought. He knew she could've kicked his ass on her own but his interference was much more fun. Besides he considered other peoples' business his business. And the best thing was he could rub it in later.

"You know, I think she's right." House straightened up on his cane, making him look slightly taller than the guy and more intimidating.

But Don wasn't backing down. He looked at House angrily. "Why don't you and your cane get the hell out of here before you end up like Stephen Hawking."

"Oh my God! You know Stephen? I've always wondered what happened to that guy. Last thing I heard was him being a human punch bag for his missus' but I never knew he was gay or desperate enough to have you as a partner." He said, sarcasm dripping with every word. "Tell me, are you the reason his wife's beating the crap out of him?"

That did it. House suddenly found himself, lying on the floor, his hand grabbing for his Vicodin. Although his face was hit, his leg hurt more.

"House!" Cuddy was quickly by his side, checking for any injuries. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He gritted out, after taking two pills.

She nodded and before he got a chance to register what was happening, Cuddy's fist connected with the guy's face, sending him to the floor.

Whoa! Didn't see that one coming. House thought slightly impressed.

"Fuck! You broke my nose, you bitch!" He stood up slowly, holding his nose, while the blood dripped on the floor.

"I'm shocked! Does the word 'healer' mean nothing to you?" House said to her at which she rolled her eyes.

"You better get lost or I'm calling the cops!" The bartender, who decided to let himself known, had shouted from the back.

"You heard the man! Get the hell out of here before I break something else." She glared at the guy.

The man looked at her and then at House who asked, "Hey you want me to check that out for you? I'm a doctor, you know. But then again, so is she." He nodded in her direction.

Don spat some blood on the floor, muttering some curse, no doubt and staggered off in a hurry.

"Was it something I said?" House asked with fake innocence.

"That means you too." The bartender spoke up again.

Cuddy nodded in understanding and held out his cane for him.

House stood up and said with a smirk. "Gosh you saved me, knight Cuddy! How can I ever repay you?" Then with another tone in his voice he added, "Just as long as it doesn't involve clinic duty."

"Oh, shut up, House. Let's get out of here."

She grabbed his elbow and guided him out of the bar.

"Oh so rough. I don't put out on a first date, you know." He said.

She rolled her eyes but decided to let that one pass for now. "Thank you." She gave him a pointed I could've handled that look.

"What for? I think I should thank you. Picking a fight in a bar was never this much fun. You kicked ass. And nose." He smirked.

She smiled back. "Thanks. You were a good damsel in distress."

"Thank you. Boy, all this thanking has made my stomach rumble. What do you say, we get something to eat?"

"What? You and me?" Her eyebrows went up in surprise.

"Yeah. Unless you also meant Donny boy. Though I think that's kind of hard now, seeing as he's scared of you." He made a face. "Frankly I'm scared of you."

"You should be. Okay, I admit I'm a little hungry. How about burgers? My treat."

"Hey, you didn't really think I was going to pay, did you? I let him hit me, so you could have a go with him. I think that qualifies for a free meal. In return I'll show you a little trick I picked up along the way."

She rolled her eyes but relented. "It's a deal but no fooling around, House."

"I never fool around." He said somewhat tiredly.

She looked at him more closely. He obviously had a bit too much to drink and was probably doped up, since he was so forward with her. Well more than usual anyway.

She gave him a knowing look. "Right. Don't think I don't know what you did with that steak, House."

"Why that snitch. I knew he would talk. Just when you think you can trust somebody—"

"Oh shut up. Are you coming or what?"

He frowned. "Where are we going?"

"I'm up for some bagels."

"I thought you said you wanted burgers?" He asked confused.

"I changed my mind. Now hurry up, slowpoke." She called out, effectively leaving him standing outside the bar.

"Hey, that's rude!" He shouted back with mock offence.

"Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black." She retorted.

"The pot is a real racist. How come nobody ever noticed that?" He made a face like he was contemplating just that.

She stopped and waited for him to catch up with her. She gave him a strange look.

"I'll admit you're a good doctor and a brilliant diagnostician, but most of the time you just make no sense."

"Why Cuddy, ma' buddy, do I detect a compliment in there somewhere?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No. It's just an observation." She looked around the parking lot. "Are you sure you're fit enough to drive that thing?" She motioned toward the motorcycle that was parked nearby.

"Fit as a fli-flidle, uh...fiddle." He frowned.

She narrowed her eyes at his wording. "I don't think so. Come on, we'll get a cab. You can pick up your bike tomorrow."

"Nuh-uh, I'm not leaving my baby out here, all alone." He limped over to the machine and patted the leather seat. He leaned in towards it and whispered, "Don't worry, daddy's not gonna leave you."

He raised his head and gave her a lost puppy look.

She sighed. "God, I must be crazy. Alright, let's go. But I swear to God if—"

"Don't be such a wuss. Nothing bad's gonna happen." He slung his leg across the seat and placed his cane in its compartment. He waived her over. "Hop on."

"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?" She thought. A second later the engine roared into life and they pulled out of the parking lot.