The Three Little Potters and the…Tootsie Pop???
Written by Vicsy, inspired Vally and Cheryl
So you've heard that the Potters were Avada Kedavra-ized on that fateful night, October 31, 1981? Well, THEY LIED!!!
You want to hear the REAL story? Really? You sure? Are you really, absolutely, completely 100% sure???
OK, just wondering.
Anyhoo, here's what REALLY happened…
It was an eerie Hallowe'en night, ~spooky musack~ the kind that makes you shiver even when you're safe and warm inside the safety (~cough~cough~) of your house.
And in Godric's Hollow, the Potters were feeling quite safe indeed. The three little Potters-Papa Potter, Mama Potter, and ickle little Baby Potter-were sitting around the kitchen table, enjoying their dinner. And then, the big, bad Moldy Voldie appeared on the scene.
"Potters, let me come in! Or I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!"
And so the big, bad Moldy Voldie huffed and he puffed, but then he ran out of breath and Apparated inside instead.
"Run!" yelled Papa Potter. "Save yourself!" And Mama Potter grabbed ickle little Baby Potter and ran off.
"MWAHAHAHA!!!" the big, bad Moldy Voldie cackled.
"I don't care if you Avada Kedavra-ize me!" Papa Potter said. He reached inside his robes and produced…yes! A sugar quill! "Ha! The quill is mightier than the wand!"
But the big, bad Moldy Voldie laughed insanely and pulled out from his robes…
"A TOOTSIE POP!!!" Papa Potter screamed. "NO, NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THE TOOTSIE POP!!!"
But the big, bad Moldy Voldie just laughed and bopped Papa Potter right on the head. Papa Potter fell down dead, and the big, bad Moldy Voldie just laughed some more.
The big, bad Moldy Voldie moved on to find Mama Potter and ickle little Baby Potter.
"NO! DON'T HURT ME!" Mama Potter screamed.
"MWAHAHAHA!!!" the big, bad Moldy Voldie cackled. And he pulled out…
"THE TOOTSIE POP!!!" Mama Potter shrieked. "NO! ANYTHING BUT THE TOOTSIE POP!!!"
But the big, bad Moldy Voldie just laughed and bopped Mama Potter right on head.
The big, bad Moldy Voldie raised his Tootsie Pop to bop ickle little Baby Potter on the head, too, but due to his incredibly thick skull, the Tootsie Pop bounced off ickle little Baby Potter's head and hit the big, bad Moldy Voldie.
"MOMMY, I GOT A BOO-BOO!!!" the big, not-so-bad-anymore Moldy Voldie wailed. And he ran off and wasn't heard from for another ten years (because everyone was too scared to say his name).
Because the Tootsie Pop was so dented from bopping Papa Potter and Mama Potter, ickle little Baby Potter was left with a curious lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead.
And ickle little Baby Potter grew up to become Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, though he never did figure out why he hated Tootsie Pops so much…
A/N: OK, my friend bopped me incredibly hard on the head with a Tootsie Pop, and the idea of the Three Little Potters and the Big, Bad Moldy Voldie sort of fell into my dented head.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The three little Potters and the big, bad Moldy Voldie belong to JK the Great.