I still don't own Chuck. Prospects are not good for me ever owning it. But, boy if I did…
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Chuck Vs The Incentive
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"I wondered what you meant when you said that you were going to cook me dinner." Chuck said as he looked at the pizza and bottle of soda that was sitting on the table.
"I was hoping you would take that figuratively." Sarah said with a laugh as she guided him to a seat. "Look around. Do you see a kitchen?"
Chuck was so intent on trying to figure out Sarah's mood that he missed the rhetorical nature of Sarah's question. She had seemed so serious when she invited him over. And Chuck was definitely worried that she might be threatened about how close they were coming to be.
But nothing in her mood was telling Chuck that she was anything but happy. The kiss that she gave him at the door couldn't have been for cover. No one was there to see. The way that she gently held his hand tonight was unlike any other time. Of course, they had held hands many times before for cover reasons. But, by a sense that he couldn't explain, it just felt different tonight. The smile on her face seemed very relaxed. And the piece de resistance was his mother's bracelet sitting in place on her wrist. It looked so good to him that he was almost moved to tears.
"You're wondering why I asked you to come over here." Sarah said with a smile as she handed him a paper plate with a slice of pizza. It was much more statement than question. "You think that I'm going to break your heart, don't you?"
Chuck decided that the time for being evasive was past. If Sarah was willing to have an honest conversation, he was going to be just as willing.
"The thought has crossed my mind." Chuck said with a sigh. "Are you?"
"I sure hope not." Sarah said with a sigh of her own. "I'm convinced that I understand how we feel about each other and I don't think that is going to change."
"I sense a but coming." Chuck said with a smile. "What's bothering you?"
"I'm worried about you." Sarah said after a long pause as she looked at the floor.
"What did I do this time?" Chuck said as his smile grew.
"That's just it." Sarah whispered sadly as tears began to form. "You think this is a game. And, Chuck, please, it's not."
"I'm sorry," Chuck said softly. "I'll be serious. Please don't be mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you." Sarah said as she jerked her head up to look at Chuck. "I'm worried about you. Do you realize how close Fulcrum is to finding you, Chuck? Do you know what will happen if they capture you?"
"It would be bad."
"Bad doesn't even begin to describe it." Sarah responded quickly. "When they finally killed you it would be a relief."
"I know."
"And do you know what that would do to me?" Sarah whispered as she fought to regain her composure. "That would end me."
"I understand." Chuck said softly as he grabbed Sarah's hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "But that's why you and Casey are here. To keep that from happening."
"I know," Sarah said. "And right now I'm doing a horrible job."
"How can you say that?"
"Because it's true." Sarah said firmly. "That is not an emotional fear. It's my professional opinion. Our feelings for each other are getting in the way of me doing my job. And that's putting you in danger."
"I don't believe it."
"I'll prove it too you." Sarah said quickly. "The other night when the Buy More was being held captive. I had an opportunity to get you out of there. Agent Walker should have done whatever it took to get her asset out of that dangerous situation."
"But I didn't let you." Chuck mildly protested.
"You shouldn't have had a choice." Sarah said. "Trust me. There are a lot of things that I could have done. I could have lied to you. I could have turned on the tears and begged you. I could have kissed you and promised you sex. I could have knocked you unconscious and dragged you out. But I didn't do any of those things because I care for you. I let you remain in a dangerous situation because I was paralyzed by my feelings. Don't you see?"
Chuck simply nodded.
"You deserve someone protecting you who is willing to do whatever it takes." Sarah said softly. "And you're not getting that right now. I'm letting you down. I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologize." Chuck said. "It's my fault too."
"That's right." Sarah said as a small smile appeared. "It is. When I told you to run back to Castle, you should have done it. You didn't because of your feelings for me. It's obvious that I can't control you."
"I'm sorry," Chuck said sadly as it was his turn to look at the floor. "You're right. What do you propose that we do?"
"It's funny that you would use that particular term." Sarah said with a sly smile. "Because that is one of the options."
"I don't follow." Chuck said as he furrowed his brow in confusion.
"Option a," said Sarah calmly. "Is we walk down and get in my car. We drive to Vegas and get married tonight and spend the next few days in bed."
"You're kidding." Chuck whispered as a grin overtook his face. "You would really do that?"
"Let's go." Sarah said with a smile as she stood up.
"That sounds too good to be true." Chuck said cautiously. "What's the catch?"
"Beckman would freak out." Sarah said softly. "I'd be reassigned faster than you can blink. It would take a few days for my replacement to get here."
"So I'd never see you again?" Chuck said as the tears began to form in his own eyes.
"Not never," said Sarah. "We would still be married. My usual assignments last about four to six months. I usually get a couple weeks off between assignments. It would be a tough sell but I'm confident that I could get them to agree to let me spend those couple of weeks with you secretly."
"Why secretly?"
"You'd have a new handler, Chuck." Sarah said. "She would have to become your new cover girlfriend. There is no way to explain you spending two weeks with me. That's why there is no way they would let me stay. Even if I quit."
"So," said Chuck. "I wouldn't see you for up to six months? How often could we talk on the phone?"
"We couldn't." Sarah said sadly. "I could never tell you where I was or what I was doing."
"But what you do is dangerous." Chuck said quickly. "What if something happened?"
"You would never know." Sarah said softly. "I'm sorry, Chuck. But they would never acknowledge that something happened to an agent on a mission. If you didn't see me in a year, you'll have to assume the worst."
"That's not going to work." Chuck said desperately as he clutched at Sarah's hand. "Please, Sarah, don't ask me to do that. I can't bear the thought of not knowing where you are or what you're doing. If you're alive or dead or being tortured."
"I know." Sarah said sadly. "It would be hard on me too."
"Is there an option b?" Chuck asked through his tears.
"Absolutely," Sarah said with a smile. "You prove to me that I can control you. That would require that we put our feelings on hold for a while until I was comfortable."
"How could I prove it to you?" Chuck asked slowly.
"In theory, it would be easy." Sarah said. "You just need to do what I tell you to do. But I'm doubtful that you're going to be able to do it."
"Why do you say that?" Chuck quickly said as his head snapped up.
"Because I know you," Sarah said softly. "You're going to have to agree that the intersect is the top priority. It has to be to me. So it has to be to you too. And that means above my safety, above your friends safety, even above Ellie's safety. Your safety has to come first. Do you think that you can do that?"
"I'll have to." said Chuck sadly. "I have no choice. I lov…"
"Please, Chuck," Sarah quickly interrupted. "Please don't tell me that."
"It's not what you think." Sarah said slowly as she saw the look on Chuck's face. "You'll never know how much I want to hear those words from you. And how much I want to say them back. But for this to work, we're going to have to put those feelings aside for a while. I'm going to have to put them aside as well. I don't want to say them until we can actually do something about it. This is just as hard on me as it is on you."
"How long?"
"I'm not sure." Sarah said with a smile. "I'd have to be comfortable that our feelings aren't going to endanger you. Maybe someday soon we could let down our guard a little but for right now I'm going to be pretty hard core."
"It's really going to be hard." Chuck said sadly.
"I know," Sarah said. "I'm not doing it to be mean. It's the only way I can think of to keep you safe. Do you believe me?"
Chuck smiled and nodded.
"Maybe I can sweeten the pot a little." Sarah said. "Remember when Roan was teaching you how to seduce and you kissed me?"
"You're kidding, right?" Chuck said. "That image is permanently burned into my brain."
"Mine too," Sarah said with a smile. "I'll tell you what. Every time you have a good week I'll allow one of those."
"A reward?"
"No," Sarah said. "More like an incentive. It will keep reminding us of what we're fighting for. And if I can't allow it one week you're going to have to look at me and know that you disappointed me. Because I'll be looking forward to it too."
"I'll do my best to not let that happen."
"I know."
"Sarah," Chuck asked so softly that she had to strain to hear him. "Would you really have married me tonight?"
"Yes, Chuck. I would. I still will if you want."
"Does option b ever see us getting married?" Chuck asked.
"I hope so."
"I like incentives." Chuck said with a smile of his own.
"I thought that you might."
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The End