Summary: Fred and George sing karaoke at the pub with their friends. Against their will, of course, so they make interesting. For them.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Full disclaimer will be at the end of this entertaining piece of work. I do STRONGLY suggest you look this song up on youtube or such and listen. It's quite Fred and George like lol..
Warnings: songfic filled with explicit cussing. Caution!!!: This may confuse the HELL out of you! If that bothers you, don't annoy the hell out of me by being an arse! Just ask me about what confused you and I'll gladly patch it up. Now if it's "this doesn't make sense" tell me how to fix it (I'm on about 5 monsters though sooo...)and if it's about the weirdness of the story in general...well...it's the Monsters.
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"Hell-"
"No!" Fred and George stared at at Angelina and Katie wide eyed. Soon though, the twins were pushed onto the stage by their moody girlfriends, only staying as to not annoy them further. Fred crossed his arms and pouted while the girls started to set up the music. Suddenly George grinned evilly and Fred blinked.
"George?"
"Yes, Fred?"
"Am I seeing us getting dumped and beaten up in the near future?"
"Quite possibly."
"Will it be worth it?"
"Oh, I do think so."
"Lovely."
Fred swaggered towards the front of the stage, smirking down at Angelina, who blushed and shook her head at his arrogance. George ran a hand through his long, red hair and grinned sheepishly down at Katie. Katie rolled her eyes and smiled slightly.
"Aright boys...It's time to sing." Angelina called. Suddenly the boys had an audience. They grinned at each other, their girlfriends noticing and feeling a shiver run down their spines. They glanced at each other.
"You think...?"
"They couldn't..."
"They would...Well, Fred would first." Angelina muttered, remembering that George was a bit more shy, but if Fred started he was sure to go along. She just hoped they wouldn't embarrass them, or cause too much attention.
Fred walked back in towards George and the middle of the stage as the lights dimmed and music started to play. It was a catchy piano tune. Oh, they were going to have sooo much fun with this.
"Some people might like to get a train to work
Or drive in in a Beamer or a merc,
Some guys like to travel in by bus,
But I can't be bothered with the fuss today
I'm going to take my bike,
Coz once again the Tube's on strike.
The greedy bastards want extra pay
for sitting on their arse all day
even though they earn 30K .
So I'm standing here in the pouring rain,
Where the fuck's my fucking train?" Fred sang, his grin becoming more and more like the cheshire cat Hermione once described from amuggle story, 'Alice in Wonderland'.
"London underground!" George sang.
"London undergound!" Fred quickly pitched in in a slightly lower voice.
"They're all lazy fucking useless cunts
London Underground!"
"London underground!" Fred threw up his arms like he was yelling at someone for effect. Their audience in the pub, including their girlfriends, watched in shock.
"They're all greedy cunts I want to shoot them all with a rifle.
All they say is "Please mind the doors",
and they learned that on the two day course,
This job could be done by a four year old.
They just leave us freezing in the cold.
What you smell is what you get
Burger King and piss and sweat
You roast to death in the boiling heat,
With tourists treading on your feet
and chewing gum on every seat,
so don't tell me to "Mind the gap"
I want my fucking money back." George was starting to becoming a bit bored, and it showed as his voice got a bit quiet as he sang. Fred quickly took over.
"London underground!"
"London underground!"
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts!
London underground!"
"London underground!
They're all greedy cunts I want to shoot them all with a rifle!
LaLaLaLa
LaLaLaLa!" George was done after that, letting Fred finish the rest on his own, which he obviously enjoyed.
"The floors are sticky and the seats are damp,
Every platform has a fucking tramp,
But the drivers get the day off when we're all late for work again,
London Underground!"
"London underground!"
"WaWa Wankers , They're all Wankers ,
London Underground!"
"London Underground
Take your Oystercard, and shove it up your arsehole." George finished, quickly dodging out of their before the barman got up there. Unfortunately, Fred was too busy laughing at their dumb, alcohol induced joke, to remember to run off.
And that was how Fred Weasley really died. But sure not due to an angry barman. Let's just say Angelina Johnson was charged for murder soon after.
Katie Bell soon broke with George due to his obsession with firewhiskey and mocking the drivers! He soon was sent to the psych ward of St. Mungoes. Reason: singing this song while waiting for a train.
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tFinS: I admit...I might on something. I don't like how I did the song and them singing but, bugger that! The song is AMAZING. Look it up on youtube, k?
Full disclaimer: "London underground" by "Amateur Transplants" is not MINE! Obviously...
If you're confused: If one says Fred's singing, next is George, then Fred again..It's quite simple. Try starting from the beginning.
R&R, loves!