Hello, SOStmohs here. (Well, it's not my pen name, but it's what I'm more commonly called.)
I submitted this story a few months ago, but I got a review suggesting that I space it better...so, me not knowing what I was doing (My knowledge of computers is...super low .) I deleted the original and re-submitted this and edited it. Hopefully the spacing will be better this time around...anyway, enough of my rambling, please enjoy my story.
But what?
Just what?
What is there to admire in this world anyway? Today I tired immerse myself in a mundane world for a change….having nothing else better to do.
Waking up is such drowsy, sluggish, lazy, almost meaningless process. Why does she even bother to live in this world? If she's not careful, it will turn gray on her. Gray, gray, gray. So what does she exactly? Should she hold out her hand and grab onto something worthless? What do humans work for anyway? Is to enjoy the little bouts of gray blobs that they like to call happiness?
Sometimes she wonders if the world might be better enveloped in red in black; tragedy and devastation or blue; tragedy and sadness. Anything as long it's not gray; melancholy, boredom, mundane and lifeless. What she really wants is for the world to be bright and yellow or orange or red; just full of happiness, vitality, electricity, passion and wonder!...But of course, you can't have your cake and eat it too now can you? Sacrifice happiness for excitement? Misery is exciting too! But at the same time, it's better if the world is just as gray as it was before…..
She takes a crayon and writes the one word she feels "Yuutsu" "Melancholy" it's always like that on the days when they're gone and she has nothing to do
.
….Oh what to do! Of course now, you have to remember that this world is gray and although she's holding what would be a red crayon, it still shows up gray and since the paper is gray too it barely even shows up.
Let's look behind the curtain shall we?
Ah, just as I thought, another great day! It's gray, gray, lovely bland day! Dust has collected on the blinds, but it goes with the mood so, therefore it stays.
She closes the blinds wanting for something to do she looks around; nothing to do. All of sudden her bed looks so comfortable; something to sink into maybe after all she can be saved, but no she promised herself that she would live normal today. Why bear that? All she wants is just to lay down. There, now she can close her eyes and wait for the day to end and then tomorrow she'll wake up and the gray dye will start to fade. There just seems to be something about boredom. It follows you and you can't stray, there's no way to go away. It sucks out energy and takes away what you used to call "me" the person you know transforms to something that might just what you were avoiding.
You are now it, so there's no way anymore for you to run away from it. Try falling asleep when you're bored? Never going to work, it's not going to happen. Things you would think were interesting when you weren't bored are now boring to you.
She was trying to go to sleep and think of an entertaining dream. But what stopped her was the thought that, the simple thought that: It's never going to happen.
This is why bored people can't sleep.
But they're awfully good at tossing and turning and another thing is thinking; thinking about everything usually negative. Boredom- Melancholy- Depression- Despair- Melancholy are the stages that one might go through and these are the stages that she is going through.
It comes quicker with her than most people. The process can be like lighting. Or another type of exaggeration. Fulfillment is what she seeks. Lying on her bed tossing and turning, thinking and hoping is not doing any good.
Now, she's a productive kind of person and she wants to do something and constantly have something in her hands; be it physically or metaphorically. Ah, maybe something outside of this lazy house could be done? Maybe, she could roll out of bed and behave as she normally does. It doesn't matter where she goes as long she's gone.
Errands need to be run anyway. Take this to the cleaners, take that to that one place, and pick this up at the store. She's going to have a good day and if not, then she'll force a good day.
But, normalcy, it creeps onto her and she feels it slowly running up her spine, no, it's not normalcy, rather mundane grayness, so bland and boring. It's the shadow, and today she doesn't have the energy to fight it so it stays.
You have to understand, you have to remember that her way of thinking is much more warped than ours. Her way of thinking can get so warped sometimes that she doesn't even know that my way of thinking is much more warped than yours and of course, vice versa.
The gray slowly makes itself into shades.
Oh no, she's immersed herself in it.
Today she had no choice but let herself live a life or normalcy. Ah, look at sun the sun! Look at the sky! What a lovely color of gray, light gray and darker gray! The clouds are lightest shade of gray she's seen how nice.
Walking by the faceless and shapeless people, she thinks to herself that her thoughts are sometimes twisted but, everybody else's thoughts can get as warped as hers too.
She refuses to believe this and keeps on walking idly by.
Take a look at the people; the lovely, happy and beautiful people. They're shape is undefined. What does this mean to you? To her it means that there is nothing, no depth no passion, they're just there to waste the air and stare blankly at the gray sky above them. The faces don't matter because they're not memorable enough at least to her it seems that- what's behind this door?
Ring ring!
Entering the supermarket!
Looking around she sees happy tasteless and insipid families running through their lives aimlessly.
Hmm Just as she thought; trapped it seems? Yes, she is trapped. The chains fasten around her ankles, but the poor girl is far too absorbed to know. What if this her life? Choosing what brand of milk to buy is the biggest decision of a day? She can just live this maybe she could be happy?
No, no way she can't find true happiness in such little things because she's more complicated than you and me. Vice versa right?
She doesn't want to see. That she is indeed like you and me, this whole world is like you and me, don't you see? No you don't because that is true and not true at the very same time.
She tries to keep things in prospective but isn't that hard?
She finds what she wants and she's in the line.
Why are all the other lines closed?
Why is this line so long?
Why does it make her think so much?
It's so hard to write about something when you can write about nothing. Yes, a whole lot nothing going on. Is this what people like to call peace? Well, at least that's what she thinks these shapeless people think. Drained of color how wonderful! Is this really the best that this world can do? What is this excuse of paradise?
"Ma'am are you ready to check out?"
She strikes her card reluctantly but why? One thing she doesn't know is that there are some things that can't be explained.
Goodbye.
The sidewalk is hard as usual. Nothing to see here, moving on…..pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter.
Why does it have to rain today?
Of all days?
She tried to let herself into a normal life, and was succeeding miserably as she walked with her angry head held down watching the gray drops fall onto the ground and form all kinds of gray puddles everywhere.
She looks up at that lovely sky-
something red?
Wires?
A rod connecting to them?
In front of her is a familiar face and not a shapeless human this time; a pair of amused brown eyes. Her own gray (No amber) eyes shake in shock. He smiles and points behind her…..
Not only have the drops come to a stop, but the ones around the umbrella are of purple, red, white, green, blue- all of the colors of the world, some colors she'd never seen before are now on the ground and still coming down.
It rises fast but not in an instant- the colors ascend with grace. Finally the gray sun is turned to a marvelous color of yellow and orange and everything in between.
A spectacle falling from the sky!
This world really is worth living in!
Colors, colors everywhere!
Her red haired friend in a vibrant flowing yellow dress, her purple haired friend clad in a familiar uniform, her light brown haired friend in simple yet classy attire.
All of them gathered here glistening with radiance in the sunset!
Most of them were smiling except for one who still gazed at her contentedly no emotion detectable on most of her face except her eyes; the window to the soul. With a content, fulfilled, satisfied feeling of floating and melting, she took his hand and together they joined them.
The sun casts a lazy shadow in her room a single paper lies on the floor, on the white paper is a single world in a brilliant shade of red. "Yuutsu" "Melancholy"
how unfitting….
Haruhi is quite an interesting character, well all the characters in this series are interesting, but there's something about Haruhi that makes her fun to work with. Maybe because of how realistic she is, and how unrealistic she'd rather be? Not too sure, but hopefully, I will have more stories coming in. I love to write and I love the Haruhi series and they're unique and entertaining array of characters. I hope you enjoyed my story. Constructive criticism is very much appreciated by all means.