Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana.
Author's note: This is set during season 3 of Hannah Montana.
Ain't no place like home!
Miley Ray Stewart is at her uncle Bobby Ray's farm in Crowley Corners.
"Yeah, doggies! Aren't ya one smashin' girl, Miley..." says Bobby Ray.
"I guess I look pretty good..." says Miley.
"Ya were always the pretty one! Somethin' tells me you're goin' to grow up to become a really fine lady." says Bobby Ray.
"I ain't gonna say 'no' to that." says Miley.
Miley's evil cousin Luanne walk up to Miley and Bobby Ray.
"Well isn't it my freakin' pop-star of a cousin, eh?" says Luanne.
"Well isn't it my evil hillbilly-loser of a cousin?" says Miley.
"No fightin' now girls!" says Bobby Ray. "Just relax, okey?"
"Sure!" says Miley and Luanne.
"That's the way to go." says Bobby Ray.
"You're just mad because I'm a famous singer and you're not." says Miley to Luanne.
"That's so not true!" says Luanne.
"Oh, really?" says Miley. "I know that you hate the fact that I'm a superstar. Admit it ya bitch!"
"Who are ya callin' a biatch, Miley?" says a very angry Luanne.
"Ya wanna fight me?" says Miley.
"Bring it on, Miles!" says Luanne.
"It's so on, Luanne!" says Miley with confidence.
"I told ya two not to fight!" says Bobby Ray.
"Miley started everythin' daddy!" says Luanne.
"Not true! She's evil, Uncle Bobby." says Miley.
"Stop it, both of ya!" says Bobby Ray. "I've got work to do. At least try to get along."
"Fine! I'll try." says Miley.
"Yeah, sure...? Like that would ever be true?" says Luanne.
"Fuck off, Luanne!" says Miley.
"Right back at ya, Miley!" says Luanne.
"I want you to know that the only reason I'm here is because dad wants me to!" says Miley to Luanne.
"I think I could figure that one out on me own." says Luanne.
"I didn't know you could think..." says Miley with her sarcastic voice.
"I could say the same about you." says Luanne.
Later Miley's phone beeps.
"Hi, this is Miley!"
"Hi, Miley! It's Lilly. What's up?"
"Things are no fun here, Lilly. Luanne is such a bitch. I have to stay here for another three weeks. What have you and Oliver been doin' for the past two weeks?"
"Nothing special actually. You know, the beach, the cinema, school, things like that."
"I wish I could be there with ya guys. Don't forget about me. Talkin' to ya soon, Lils! Bye!"
"Bye, Miley!"
The next morning Miley goes for a ride on her horse.
"You're the only one here who understands me." says Miley to her horse.
Even if Miley's life on Bobby Ray's farm is a pain she knows that there ain't no place like home!