Hi I'm Ruth and I'm Bipolar.
That constant phrase was doing my head in, therapy sessions, talking to depressed unsociable people was how I would spend my day, staring at the four walls in that dreary room I had to call mine, until today.. , I was finally being 'released', I had dreamt of this moment for weeks, I am certainly not coming back here again. Charlie opened the door, said he would be visiting me soon, and I had to keep taking my medication, blah blah blah, I'm a doctor I'm not incapable. I wondered if any one cared, any one cared that their favourite Doctor Winters was coming out, and by the look of the empty car park I presumed not. I sat outside, wondering what to do, walk, bus... Until a car came around the corner with Jay Faldren in the driver's seat, he beeped at me hanging out the window singing 'Dr Winters is coming home she's coming home'. I smiled at that, trying to act embarrassed but I was glad, glad someone cared.
"Hey princess you wana lift to your flat", he said with a cheesy grin.
"Hm might walk..." I said trying to tease him.
"Fine then your loss" he said smiling and he reversed slowly.
"Well since you came all this way..." I said keeping the pace with the moving car.
I got in; the car smelled of him, I sort of missed that friendly smell. The car was in a tip as usual, but that's Jay for you Mr unorganized.
"How are you feeling today then?" he asked as we finally left that hell hole.
"Jay if you ask that again I'm gunna jump out the car." I said annoyed, I know he cared but I was sick of that question.
"Ok, so I have the day off and I haven't payed you much attention recently what with…" he trailed off; I could see he had a lump in his throat over his recent grief.
It was two weeks over Polly's death and he had taken it bad but wasn't showing anyone, they had a thing once when I was with that man who shalt not be named. She seemed nice, didn't like me much then again who does, she made Jay happy though so.
"Sorry about you know..."
"Yeah so am I ..."
"Drive down there Jay... No questions"
He seemed to comply with my order not knowing what to say back to me, I knew where I wanted to take him.
"Why are we here Ruth?" he said as we pulled up by the cemetery.
"Thought we might pay our respects..."
"I already have..." he replied.
"Well I haven't so..." I gestured my hand towards the car door, and we both step out .He lead me up to her grave. We stood there for a while, not knowing what to say, I suggested he told me some memories of her but he said he needed to tell me something else.
"What is it?"
"Polly told me something before she died..."
"What she say..."
"That she basically knew I always had eyes for you, and I'm the person you're meant to be with..."
"O." was all I could manage to say, I had wanted him back with me for so long, being in hospital on my own made me realise that even more.
" Ruth, she made me see babe, made me see what I was too blind to realise for so long, yeah we've had bad times, real bad times, but there's still something there right?" he picked up my hand and placed it on his heart.
I was always difficult with feelings, never wanting to show weaknesses or doubts, but the man in front of me, I couldn't lose him again, and the only thing that hospital taught me was to talk about my feelings.
"Yeah, and there always will be". I aid with a small shy grin.
With my hand still on his heart, he lowered his head and gently kissed me, not the ideal place to kiss, but I missed him so much.
"I've just got out of hospital Jay, we need to go slow this time, properly, I can't take much more heartbreak..."
"Sure thing, I'll look after you, through this and forever babe scouts honour. " he saluted me.
"I've got something to tell you..." I said happily.
"What?"
" I'm back to work next week" I said gleefully.
"Yes Dr Winters returns!"
"Don't tell anyone about us though, not yet hm?"
"Course, secrecy woo! Looks like we'll be using that office of yours quite a lot, and not for work reasons."
"As long as I don't get sectioned again on my first day" I said through laughs.
"Not funny babe, not funny, you're never going back there I promise."
"I know."
"Pizza at yours then" he asks as we walk back down to the car, hand in hand. My life was in his hands again, I was thrilled.
"You're paying" I teased as we got in to the car and drove to my flat.