Title: When There Was Me and You
Author: Miarae
Summary: Breaking hearts has never looked so cool. Stans pov. One-sided Style.
Disclaimer: I don't own Southpark, or the HSM song.
A/N: First SP fic. Comments/critics are very welcome. Thanks to Indiana Beach Bum, Faery Goddyss, Broflofskifan and Cjmarie for introducing me to Style. Flashbacks are in Italics.
A/N: Should I keep this a one-shot or develop it into a story?
It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I see him flirting with her the way he's flirted with me. See how he puts his pale hand on her shoulder as he leans in just slightly, his face serious. She looked up at him the way I know I have looked at him so many times. So willing to believe that his words are true, that he means everything that comes out of that beautiful mouth. Freckles cover his face, and he smiles that perfect smile, showing off his white teeth.
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
I remember what it's like, to be his number one. To feel like there is nobody else in the entire world, and that his emerald eyes will never leave your face. It's intoxicating and I've found myself getting lost in those eyes so many times, believing every promise that he didn't bother to put into words.
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
"Stan?"
I've zoned out again and he's noticed. That's why he's smiling at me, in that way that says that nobody will ever know me the way he does. And that he likes it that way. I return the smile, feeling my betraying heart skip a beat. There is no way he doesn't know how I'm feeling, is there?
I'm doing it again. Zoning out when he's asked me a question and he laughs this time, handing me another beer. I down half of it in one go, the liquid burning its way down my throat as I drown in his green eyes. He is standing so close that I can feel the heat of his body. All I have to do is wrap my arm around his waist, maybe pretend that I'm drunk, or at least more drunk than I actually am.
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care
When he notices my looking at him he frowns a bit and returns the stare for just a second. And then it's back on her and I feel like strangling her just for smiling and cuddling into him. Okay, I know, a six feet tall guy snuggling into his slightly shorter best friend isn't really as cute as a redheaded girl getting close but...look at them! Their hair clashes horribly!
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
That's coming true
The party is coming to an end but I don't feel like leaving. Kenny is passed out on a couch somewhere and me and Kyle are trying to clean up the mess. I still can't believe that I'm actually here with him, and he hasn't dumped me for some girl yet. There were a lot of them looking at him tonight, I could tell. Who can blame them, really? Kyle Broflovski is easily the hottest guy in school. And tonight he looks particularly good. He's been smiling a lot, and more often than not I've been on the receiving end of one of those smiles. Does he know what that's doing to me? Sometimes I think he does, and that that's why he's doing it.
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you
I pinch the bridge of my nose as I turn around, leaving for my first class, muttering a string of curse words under my breath that I don't think anyone will want to tune into. Getting through the hallway unnoticed though has become wishful thinking, as most of the people know about the one night I spent with Kyle.
I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
"Stan?"
I melt when he whispers my name like that, and from my place on the floor I look up at him. He's lying on his bed, head close to mine as his hand runs over my face to check if I'm awake. Of course I am, and when his touch flutters over my face I hold my breath for a moment. "Yeah?"
The words that slip from his mouth are words I've wanted to hear for so long, and I almost can't believe that he's really saying them. I pinch myself under the covers to see if I'm awake and he chuckles, tangling his hand in my hair and yanking me close just like that. He's got quite some strength for a little guy...and then he's kissing me, and I lose the ability to think. Actually, I think I pretty much lose the ability to do anything but kiss him back.
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song
He brushes past me, his arm around the girls shoulder as he continues to talk to her, flirt with her. She doesn't seem to mind too much and I hear her giggle as they pass me by. Resisting the urge to slam my fist into a locker I just head into my classroom and sit down. I'm trying to tell myself that it doesn't matter, that it had been just a drunk fling. That what happened between us would never change me or Kyle or even our friendship. But the truth is that I am hopelessly in love with Kyle Broflovski. And according to my former friend, nothing ever did happen between us. Then why is our friendship so fucked up?
Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
He moans my name as I straddle him, attacking his throat with hungry lips. Writhing underneath me, his hands move up and down my arms, as trying to coax me into fully engaging in this passionate act. I don't need too much convincing, after all, this is a dream come true. Having Ky underneath me, whispering my name as my hand touches him intimately, it's everything I could ever want and thought I couldn't have.
Cause now even I tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you
Another night I spend at home. Kenny is at work and I'm stuck in my room, staring at the tv although I have no idea what is on. We used to hang out pretty much every night, me and Kyle. Not since that night though. Why is it suddenly so wrong to hang out with your best friend? Just because something happened that had everything to do with the alcohol and not with anything else? If that's all it was, if the only reason he did this was because of the alcohol...then why is he so afraid of being near me? Does he think I'll jump on him? Is it so obvious that I'm in love with him? Am I turning into one of those dough-eyed girls that follows him around the entire school?
I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind
He looks so cute when he's asleep. There's even freckles on his eyelids, and it makes me smile. I think I finally know everything there is to know about Kyle Broflovski. Little details like this make my heart skip, and I feel like this is a high I won't ever come down from. I remember everything from last night, from the way his hair felt between my fingers to the way he closes his eyes and bites his lip when he comes.
Pale skin makes way for emerald eyes and for one moment I am caught in his gaze, that silly smile still on my face. His look of confusion changes into horror and before I really realise what is going on he has pushed me out of his bed, letting out a string of cursewords in Hebrew.
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you
There are so many times when I pick up my cellphone, my thumb on that speeddial button I've had him on for years now, ever since we got our first mobile phones. Longing to just be able to press the button without hesitating, without wondering what he will say, if he even picks up. In the end I always put the phone down, thinking that maybe this time he will finally make the first move.