Clawfight at the O.K corral. This is how I reckon Brambleclaw and Ashfur should have sorted out their differences. It based around a world without the three and one where Ashfur and Brambleclaw were still fighting over Squirrelflight… Yeah I know that that doesn't make sense but this is meant to be funny, not serious.
Squirrelflight woke up to the usual sound of growling. She stormed out of the warrior's den to find Brambleclaw and Ashfur facing each other and hissing. It wasn't helped by the fact that ThunderClan had gathered around then chanting, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Squirrelflight moaned and shoved in between the two toms. "Honestly you two, didn't I tell you to not disturb my beauty sleep?" the two toms stared at the ground looking guilty like little children being told off. Which, they effectively were. "Yes Squirrelflight." They chorused.
"Now, I am so sick of being woken up by you two naughty boys that I am going to end this once and for all, the only way I know." Brambleclaw and Ashfur stared at the ground, expecting her to choose one of them. But instead, she spun around, with a fake cowboy hat and boots, a cheesy fake gun and a hideous fake Texan accent. "That's right boys! We're going to Vegas!" she looked around grinning, expecting an excited crowd, but instead everyone just looked confused. "I mean," She said, "We're going to the O.K corral!" ThunderClan erupted in cheers.
"When is it gonna get here?" Thornclaw said, dipping his cowboy hat toward Squirrelflight. He too, was putting on a bad southern accent. "Soon," She replied. Looking out from under the brim of her hat. "Very soon." As if in response, a wagon pulled by a very confused looking horse and driven by Molekit arrived at where ThunderClan were waiting. "I can drive!" he proclaimed. While ThunderClan started to run away in fear of getting flattened. "No you can't!" Yelled Brackenfur, launching himself at Molekit and taking the reins. "What kind of idiot let you drive?"
'I an no idiot!" Came Berrynose's voice from the shadows. "I had to leave someone in charge while I checked my make-up." (A/N I really do hate Berrynose, check out my other fic The Death of Berrynose) Brackenfur mumbled something that is too rude to put in this story and reluctantly handed over the reins. "Everybody aboard the wagon driven by my awesomeness!" Yelled Berrynose. ThunderClan came out of the shadows, incredibly wary. Some cats got on the wagon while others picked up their fake western gear that had fallen of them whilst trying to escape the wagon driven by Molekit. They eventually all got in and started the trip to Texas. They soon realised it was going to be a long trip because Texas was in North America while they were in England. But because the author writing this had no idea how to get them to America and didn't know much on the matter anyway because she lives in Australia they just magically arrived there.
"At last," Said Firestar as they stepped out of the wagon, "We're here!" the cats cheered and then climbed off the wagon. They rushed over to the corral but all of a sudden were stopped by guards "Oi! What are you doing 'ere? They're filming the new soap opera, life in western times." They said. ThunderClan peered over the guard's shoulders and saw indeed they were filming a soap opera
"Well, we're here to have a good time, make people on fanfiction happy and let this stupid love saga end." Firestar replied trying to sound persuasive. "Yeah, like I believe that, it's what they all say." One of the guards said. "C'mon out!" so a dejected ThunderClan climbed back into the wagon, their tails drooping and their fake western gear falling off them.
They had travelled about a kilometre when Firestar stood up and addressed the cats. "Well that was disappointing for all of us, but… I think I can solve your misery… That's right, we're goin' to Vegas! WOOO! WWOOOOOOOOO!" ThunderClan erupted into cheers and Berrynose whipped the horse and ThunderClan raced off towards Las Vegas singing "Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas!"
To put it this way, the after affects were disastrous. ThunderClan staggered back to camp, and when they got there things went from bad to worse. Blossomfall and Toadstep were being detained in prison for setting fire to a casino, Berrynose had disappeared with an attractive Spanish feline, Thornclaw was in hospital after a drunken punch up with Cloudtail, who was there as well, and most cats had gambled away there whole savings.
Everybody staggered into camp Sorreltail and Brackenfur were having a huge argument over Brackenfur gambling away everything and Firestar was leaning against a ginger cat he thought was Sandstorm. "Yeah baby that was awesome!" He yelled before passing out. The next morning everyone woke up to a few surprises. Blossomfall and Toadstep were to spend two seasons in prison, Thornclaw and Cloudtail had been realised from the hospital, and had returned bruised and battered. Berrynose had disappeared, which everyone was happy about, and most cats were broke.
But there were also some also other surprises, Bumblestripe now had three wives, Rosepetal had dyed her fur blue and Foxleap, the idiot, had crossed the border to Russia and found himself a legal citizen there. He now sat inside a house in Moscow drinking eggnog that was suppose to help with a hangover. And probably the most interesting thing that had happened was that Leafpool had landed her self a job as a talk show host. Bizarre things happen when you get hammered in Vegas.
Yeah, I know the ending was weird, but it was hopefully funny. Please review and tell me if you want me to write a sequel…