Why the hell am I here…?
Here I am, Sasuke Uchiha. The Sasuke Uchiha, stuck on this stupid stage with these utterly stupid people. Honestly, how the hell did Kakashi get me here? I can't really remember… Well that explains the bump on my head… Stupid Kakashi…
I glared at the girls waiting in anticipation at the end of the stage.
"Stop glaring, Teme! You'll scare Sakura-chan!"
Naruto punched me on the arm lightly as I turned my glare on him. He just grinned, unfazed, and turned to the others stuck on the stage, Gaara and Neji.
Stupid auction… Me, an honorable shinobi, having to stand on the stupid stage and have stupid girls bet their stupid money for a stupid date with me. I mean, how low could Konoha get just for money? Can't they just start already? I need this over with as soon as possible…
"Ladies and…uh…Well ladies!" Tsunade called out as she stepped onto the stage, mike in hand, "Welcome to the Bachelor Auction! Here you can bet your money for a date with one of these handsome boys!"
The girls squealed immensely.
"The money earned from this auction will be sent to the academy!"
A single "Whoo!" was heard from the back, sounding suspiciously like Iruka…
"So," She continued, "Let's start this thing shall we?"
I tuned out the squeals as Gaara stepped forward
"Contestant # 1, Gaara Sabaku! He enjoys horror movies, very long walks on the beach and…"
The auction continued, Gaara was "bought" for $500, Neji for $700 (Tenten doesn't give up easily…)
"And next, Sasuke Uchiha!"
The squeals and screeches were overwhelming. Naruto winced and I groaned as I stepped up next to Tsunade.
"So, Sasuke's likes are…" She paused…the girls waited…
"Ah, what the hell? How much for the Uchiha?" She grinned as millions of hands flew up in answer.
"$500!"
"NO, $600!"
"I SAY $700!"
"GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE INO-PIG!"
"YOU GET OUT FOREHEAD-GIRL!"
I sighed, crossed my arms, and looked back to the others in boredom. Neji and Gaara smirked in that evil way only they could, but Naruto looked scared...
Probably worried that his little crush likes me better…
"$800! BEAT THAT INO-PIG!"
"OH YEAH?! $900!"
Tsunade grinned as she listened to the tune of money gradually making its way into her pocket… Ahem the academy…Well maybe just a bit for her pocket…
"YEAH! $1,000!"
So this is the part where I curse the world in my head. Curse you Tsunade and your stupid idea! Curse you Kakashi for knocking me out and dragging me up here…and now I've got a headache! And curse you Nar-
"…$1,500!"
Huh…?
"IS THAT ALL YOU-…what?" Sakura froze.
Huh?
The room was silent.
Ino and Sakura stared (along with every other living soul in the room) at the speaker.
"…What?" Sakura questioned.
"…I said," The voice getting gradually louder, "I'll pay $1,500 for Sasuke!"
HUH?
The room was, again, silent…
Tsunade, not knowing what else to do, cleared her throat and stood, "So…Erm we have $1,500…Anyone else...? Anyone…?"
And again, in case you didn't notice before: HUH?????
The room was still stunned silent…
Even Sakura and Ino found nothing to say…And that says a lot.
Okay, if that doesn't say enough, I, the great Sasuke Uchiha was at a complete and total baffled loss…seriously.
"Ok then, Sasuke now goes to: Naruto Uzumaki!"
HUH?!
I was completely, rubber ducky, buck-tooth Kakashi, spinny tea-cups, at a loss.
Naruto just stood there almost as stunned as the rest.
I still hadn't moved.
No one had.
"Ah, so that concludes today's auction. Have a nice day. Good bye. BYE!" Tsunade rushed the auctioneers out.
With me, Gaara, Naruto, Neji, and Tsunade alone I was able to find words, and let me say they were not what I expected…
"What the HELL?!"
Naruto, eyes wide, found a sudden interest in the floor as if it would explain what the hell he had just done. I sure as hell want to know!
"Well Sasuke, to put it simply," Tsunade smirked, "You've got a date with Naruto."
And, in case you missed it before…
HUH?!