Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
A/N: Many thanks to AmazonTurk for agreeing to beta this. Side note, everyone should check out her work, it's freaking amazing.
Ciel Phantomhive sat by the fire, staring blankly into the flames. The falling snow was whipped into a frenzy by the howling winds outside the window, frigid fingers of ice spider-webbing across the glass.
The boy blinked slowly, slender fingers gently clutching the blanket around his fragile shoulders.
He hated the cold, especially on nights like this. The phantom sensation of the frost coated bars against his burned and beaten flesh was harder to ignore when the weather reflected the terror of his memories.
A soft footfall near the door alerted him to the presence of his loyal butler. Sebastian stepped further into the room, quietly closing the door behind him and blowing out the candles he held, placing the candelabra on the table near the door.
"Another sleepless night, My Lord?" The butler enquired quietly.
Ciel made an indeterminate noise in his throat, not moving from his curled position near the flames.
Sebastian watched his Young Master for a few moments, before approaching and scooping the heartsore child into his lap. Settling cross legged with the boy firmly wrapped in his arms, he joined Ciel in staring at the flames.
"Which one was it?"
A few minutes passed before the Earl shuddered and leaned back against Sebastian's strong chest, accepting the offered comfort.
"The same that always plagues me on nights like this," he whispered, pulling the blanket tighter around himself, huddling into it as if the flimsy fabric could shelter him from the evils of the world. "The cage, and the altar, and the knife plunging into my gut; the sickening sound of my flesh splitting open and the cult members chanting in unison. I can feel it, all of it, always. Even waking, my skin crawls when I remember their hands on me, pinning me down and violating my body for their own perverse pleasure. Every time someone shakes my hand, I catch myself wondering if they knew; if they were one of the minds behind that month, if they were the voice that ordered my parents deaths and the fire that destroyed my home."
Sebastian remained silent, his steady breaths and beating heart slowly soothing the boy in his lap.
"It burns that after two years I am no closer to finding the ones who tried to destroy me; and while I know I could simply order you to find them and dispose of the filth, relying on hands other than my own to accomplish the task leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The struggle is what will make this all worthwhile, in the end. It is what reminds me each day that my body is no longer caged, no matter how trapped my mind may be on nights such as this."
The butler hummed in agreement, arms tightening around Ciel as he lowered his head to brush his lips against the Earl's ear.
"Struggle all you like, Young Master. I shall be with you until the end."
Ciel closed his eyes, turning his head until Sebastian's lips brushed his cheek innocently.
"Sebastian," he said, whispered words ringing with desperation. "I don't need my butler tonight; I need my demon. Remind me that you came for me."
The demon smiled, teeth glinting as the thin guise of humanity melted away, black mist and inky feathers swirling and stretching through the room like a putrid miasma. Perfectly pressed fabric shifted into black leather, ripped from the hide of creatures that have never walked the human world. Wine red eyes became slitted and began to glow an eerie fuchsia, prominent in the featureless shadows that concealed his face.
Ciel smiled slightly as midnight wings curled around them, shutting out the tempestuous night and plunging them into their own Cimmerian world. He knew the beast cared nothing for him in truth, but on nights like this, when he could barely separate nightmare from memory from reality, this unhallowed monster was the only one he would allow to see his weakness. The very lack of affection was what gave him the freedom to accept the release offered, just as he had on that blood soaked altar two years prior.
"I am here, My Lord."
And in the unrelenting dark, held firmly in the arms of the predator who would one day consume his soul, the broken child wept.