A/N: This is a fanfiction I entered into a competition at my city's anime and video games convention. It didn't win, but it was up on the board for everyone to read - yikes. It had to be less than 1000 words, so it's a little short. But I hope you like it.
It is no less than an impossibility to know the exact definition of what happens when a person's own mortality is faced, head-on.
Perhaps that is because there is no one definition. Perhaps there are are many. But, no matter what we are told, no matter how hard it is to define, humans will always ask the same question.
What do we think happens when we know we have only moments to live?
Some say that we are drawn towards a light, something higher than ourselves and everyone on the planet. Some say our lives flash before us, every high and every low, and then we just go, finally at peace with the turmoil of the world. Some say that our mind goes completely blank and rational thought is no longer an option.
In his final moments, he thought of everything.
He thought of his wife. He thought of his daughter. He thought of his friends and colleagues, all of whom he would never see again. More thoughts rushed through the Lieutenant Colonel's mind in the seconds before he let out his final breath than had ever rushed through his mind in his corporeal life.
And yet, even though Maes Hughes was slowly slipping away from the mortal world, all he thought of was their tragedy.
Maes knew that Gracia would take it hard. She had been his loyal wife for years, and she was his everything. He was sure that she thought the same of him. Gracia and Maes had met when they were young and innocent, and if love at first sight existed, it was what they had for one another. Their love never wavered – not for a second.
The loss of the love of Gracia's life would pierce her heart like nothing else. He wanted nothing more than to be able to support her through her hurt. But the paradoxical evil was just that; if he was there to support her, she wouldn't feel the pain of him leaving. And there was nothing that could stop him leaving. Despite this, there was one eternal truth. Maes loved Gracia and Gracia loved Maes, and not even the barrier of life and death itself would make that untrue.
Then, of course, there was little Elicia. His daughter was the little ball of life that kept him on his toes and never failed to amaze him every single day. The spitting image of her mother, Elicia lit up every room she walked into. She had phases of her mother's grace but also moments of her father's head-strong spontaneity. All of them collectively made her into the bubbly young girl she was. And Maes knew he was about to lose her.
He thought about all of the moments in his daughter's life that he would miss. He would miss her first day of school, her first 'A' on a project and her first best friend. Then, of course, there were the things that would occur later in life that he would miss. He wouldn't be around to see her first nerve-wracking date, the day she came home to tell her parents she was engaged or how beautiful she would undoubtedly look on her wedding day. He'd never experience the joy of holding a grandchild; he just saw precious years with a growing family slipping before his very eyes.
Then, there were his colleagues to worry about as well. They were not only his colleagues, but his friends. Roy Mustang, his best friend, was a difficult yet necessary man to think about. Roy and Maes had been best friends since the Academy. Their mischief was virtually second-to-none, and when they walked into a room together, you knew there was trouble to follow.
Maes wasn't sure how Roy would react to his death. Being an alchemist, he would no doubt be familiar with the theory of human transmutation. Whether or not that would run through his mind, Maes didn't know. But Roy knew how Maes felt about the taboo. And Maes was almost sure that Roy would not want to bring him back as something grossly deformed; that it was not a risk Roy would be willing to take.
Then, of course, there was not only the future to worry about, but the past.
The horrific things that Maes saw in Ishval should never have to be witnessed by human eyes, and he wished, in his final moments, that nobody else would ever have to go through that. He wished that the world should never have to bear the sheer terror of anything like it ever again. He wished that it could be erased from history – from his history.
Maes felt the last seconds falling away, and he tried so desperately to take in everything he needed to.
Wife. Daughter. Friends. Colleagues. Past. Present. Future.
There seemed like there were so many things to think about and so little time to think about them in. Maes trembled as he began to lose sensation in his extremities and his mind and vision blurred. He knew there was not long left. For most people, this would be too much to bear. They would simply close their eyes and fall away. But Maes had too much left to do to break down and give up. Thinking was no longer an option.
Instead, with his very final breath, he apologised.
"I'm sorry… Gracia, Elicia… I don't think I can keep my promise."
When Maes arrived home each day, he would kiss his wife and tell his daughter the tales of his day. This was just his routine. And then, every single day before he left for work, Maes would promise his family something. It was something that would absentmindedly roll off the tongue as he waved goodbye. He never once thought about it. It was so regular it had become an unconscious catchphrase.
Every day, he promised them that he would come home.
Maes Hughes hated breaking promises.