DISCLAIMER: NOT MINE I DO NOT OWN NEW TRICKS-mores the pitty

Just a little story that came together after this week's news that Dennis Waterman is to hang up his UCOS hat. I hope it's okay and if you get the Dolly quote, I will love you for life! Enjoy!

"Gerry Standing that was your life!" That very phrase snapped Gerry out of his day dream; a cold sweat dripping from his brow completed the nightmare. He had been dreaming that his life had been played out in front of his very eyes but he had gotten embarrassed as there wasn't much to show for it. Waking up in the dark, empty UCOS office proved that.

Sasha and Dan had gone out to visit a suspect and as for Steve, well since their massive bust up last week over parenting skills, he couldn't care less if he never saw the arrogant Scot again.

Gerry hadn't been feeling very well and he felt he wasn't as sharp as he once was. His colleagues had assumed he had been feeling run down for the past week and suggested he take a holiday- a rare concept for the members of the Unsolved Crime and Open Case Squad.

He was tempted to, by all means. After all he was yet to take Sandra up on her offer to put him up in France.

"What are you thinking, you should be jumping at the chance" he told himself. "But then again, you can't go inviting yourself to visit an old friend if you haven't spoken in over a year."

At first Gerry kept in regular contact with his old Governor, it was easier before she upgraded to a French phone with its own French number, and what with him being against everything social media stood for (Sasha, Dan and Caitlin all agreed it was because he couldn't use it) it was virtually impossible to stay in contact with Sandra.

At first this had upset Gerry but as he re submerged himself in his work (and he had every faith she was doing the exact same) it got a little easier to deal with.

"Why don't you write her a letter, like I do, once a month, you know filling her in with what's going on?" He heard a Northerner say, forcing his way into Gerry's thoughts. He laughed out loud at that, typical Brain, he thought. At least with Brian it as easy to keep in contact, he left all the organising to Brian, the Met's former Memory Lane. Once a month (or there abouts) they would meet up for a drink or a meal and a catch up. It was nice, but it wasn't the same. Gerry only brushed on the subject of UCOS as he didn't want to upset Brian, given the circumstances surrounding the way he left.

Gerry was also envious of what Brain now had. Freedom. He spent a lot of time at long last with his family and had thrived ever since he became a grandfather. Gerry also was rather jealous of Brain and Esther's very successful private detective agency. The stories he told Gerry about the cases made UCOS look a bit like a shambles.

Maybe it was time to hang in the towel and take a leaf out of Brian's book? Was it time to settle down and enjoy precious time with his family before it was too late?

He wanted to confide in someone and ask their opinion but if he asked Sasha, Dan or even Robert Strickland they would all find a way to persuade him to stay. If he asked his daughters, ex wives or god forbid even Steve's opinions there was no doubt about it that they would guilt trip into leaving and it wouldn't be his choice.

Gerry really needed someone impartial to sit down and weigh up the pros and cons of leaving UCOS with him. He needed someone he could trust and someone who had some idea about what they were talking about.

Taking a pen and paper he began drafting a hand written letter:

Dear Sandra,

I hope you are keeping well and still enjoying work. I also hope that Max geezer is looking after you, like I told him, he will have me to answer too if he doesn't.

This must be a little odd for you receiving this letter (should the post office choose to actually send it to you); I mean I have left it far too long to get in touch. I suppose it is my own fault for hating Facebook, but you know me, I'm an old fuddy duddy at heart.

If this letter is appalling, do me a favour and blame Brain, he was the one who gave me the idea to write this and you know me, I aint very good with words or writing letters.

I bet you have already asked yourself what the hell do I want. And you would be right to ask yourself that as I need your advice. (Maybe by the time this reaches you I will have solved my problem but what the hell.)

I was wondering how you did it; leave UCOS, because you see I am not sure I am happy there anymore. It's not because the Guv isn't you. Sasha's a good 'un- alright she isn't you but she is good at her job and gets result. And as much as I can tolerate Dan he isn't Brian, though like Brian his obscure, useless information always comes up trumps, and as for Steve, well it is safe to say, we don't get on anymore due to the fact both of us are too suborn to admit that we were both in the wrong and too long in the tooth to apologise and back down. I won't bore you with the details but let's just say had to you been there to witness it- you would have taken my side. No? I guess you are right in saying we are both as bad as each other.

What with that and work getting in the way of family life- I missed little Gerry's birthday party (well he's not so little anymore, you should see him Sandra, he's turning into a right handsome fella. Remember his christening, my doesn't that feel like yesterday?) Of course I had volunteered to do all the cooking for the party but at work it took longer to put away a criminal than expected. So Paula was wanting my blood by the time I got home.

I guess what I am trying to say is at long last that elastic bad which has been constantly stretching me in two different directions is finally about to give and I don't know what to do. Yes I still enjoy working at UCOS but I love my family more. Saying that I know if I do retire for good I won't get a moments peace. I can see it now, all the women nagging me to do this and that for them, even more so than they do now! I always said they will drive me into an early grave. (Yes alright, an earlier grave. I know what you are going to ask and no I haven't given up the fags. I do keep trying, you must believe me.) The strain is getting me down Sandra, I'm not as sharp as I was and unless I make a choice, this whole thing will wear me down completely.

Oh, did I tell you Caitlin got married, to a posh lawyer none the less- I know I must be becoming more accepting in my old age. No sooner had I recovered from forking out for the wedding (well most of it, he did insist on paying for some of it, just because he can, I suppose), my youngest daughter now tells me she is pregnant! I know! I am excited of course but how am I supposed to pay for a baby, especially if I choose to retire? I mean I hardly have a decent pension to fall back on, seen as I am no longer an officer.

Anyway, I've kept you long enough. I know I have some bloody cheek to burden you with this after a year's silence. But I feel you are the only one I can turn too. If you know what I should do write your answer on the back of a post card and send it me.

I do hope you are well and not getting sunburnt!

All the best Gerry x

Almost two weeks had passed when Gerry had decided without the help of Sandra that it would be in his best interests if he stayed at UCOS.

He returned home that evening happy with his choice; he even wished Steve a good morning, which was a massive improvement from the silent treatment he had previously condemned him to. He had begun to feel a lot better in himself since making the decision. He whistled a jaunty little tune as he rummaged through the assorted envelopes that had been sitting on his doorstep waiting for his return.

Most of them were bills and various companies writing to him to advise him that it would be in his best interests to take out one of their life insurance policies. Placing them in the waste paper bin, a rouge envelope with a blue, French postage mark grabbed his attention. He smiled as he tore his way through the parchment and unfolded the plain white paper.

Gerald;

It was about time I heard from you, my first question is why has it taken you so bloody long? You know what I am like when I am working but I at least expected you to try and keep in touch. You were right though, I had a feeling you would suddenly get in touch when you wanted something.

What can I say? Firstly congratulations to Caitlin, I always knew she would go far. Secondly it is not your child so you won't have to shell out a fortune, just make sure you are around to take the baby when the newlyweds need some time alone!

Honestly Gerry, I would have thought you would have cracked this grandparent thing by now. It is crazy to imagine Caitlin as a mum when I still picture her as that feisty 17-year-old. My spies tell me she is doing very well in her career; I said she would didn't I? Yes alright, I know gloating doesn't suit me and it isn't as much fun in paper, so I will stop.

I enjoyed your letter nearly as much as my monthly ones from Brain, how is he really, I do still worry about how retirement is treating him but I am sure Esther is keeping him busy, I always knew she would make a good detective too.

Honestly Gerald, I could knock yours and Steve's heads together! I don't know how DCI Miller copes with you two, she needs a medal, I am sure of it!

Seriously though, I am sorry that UCOS isn't what it used to be for you. I can't tell you what it is you need to do but I can try to help.

My advice to you is this, if you aren't happy there move on. You have had a very good crack at the whip. Christ you lasted a whole lot longer than I anticipated, I bet with Jack that for whatever reason you would have gone by the second week of UOCS forming, I think that bet bought him a brand new set of golf clubs!

If you aren't up to it anymore (which I do struggle to believe, despite all the jokes) I doubt dear old Strickland wants you rattling around the place for much longer, they probably aren't insured if you have an accident at your age!

I bet you miss this, me teasing you endlessly, I became rather good at it in the end, don't you think?

Right, back to attempting to be serious, if there is anything I have learned from being out in France it is work isn't everything. I spent so much time making a career I forgot to make a life back in dear old England. Work, as you were forever telling me isn't the be all and end all, especially for someone like you who has a huge family, who you could be making even more memories with. If you really are worried about them demanding everything under the sun from you-which you are right they most probably will, I am sure I can persuade Max to build a granny flat for you above the garage.

That is if you promise to come and see me soon, I assumed you were jealous of Max and refused to come, so prove me wrong, go on I dare you!

I guess I should throw a couple of reasons for you to stay at UCOS too, just because I am a tricky bugger and would hate not to live up to my name. It keeps your mind ticking over and gives you less time to think about your imminent visit to God's waiting room- oh I forgot you once did visit there, didn't you.

UCOS also allowed you to prove others wrong about who you were and that has done you the world of good. I remember when you were this arrogant little sod who spoke to me like a second class citizen and I really don't want you to slip back into old habits.

Well there is not much more I can say on the matter, though if you are really stuck, I have enclosed two postcards, one says stay and the other says leave that way you can close your eyes and point to one and whichever one you pick you have to agree to it. (I was going to write the 'leave' one on a lovely beach postcard and the 'stay' one on a dull ruined church but that would spoil it-don't you think? And besides either could really be paradise for you, I guess.) You did say 'answers on a postcard' and I think desperate times call for desperate measures, but please do make sure you consider both options before you turn to such a poor way to decide on somthing huge.

As for me, I am good thank you, finally managed to get some holiday off work- I am still not used to sitting around and doing nothing.

I have just graduated from my basic French speaking course at night school and have progressed to advanced French. Which means Max can no longer get away with muttering on in foul French when I tell him not to leave to toilet seat up! Don't worry I haven't been sunburnt since I arrived. Unlike my mother when she came to visit a few months ago. They say every cloud has a silver lining and this one did- she vowed never to return!

Good luck with everything, I know you will make the right choice (you always do... eventually).

Take care, and I hope to hear from you soon- or better still see you soon!

Love Sandra x

Gerry smiled, it was as if she had been stood right there, talking to him. Boy, did she have a habit of turning his plans upside down. Or as Sandra Pullman would have put it, she always had his balls locked tightly in the vice.

Having finally heard both sides of the dilemma, he thought long and hard at the prospect of a life without UCOS, it had its attractions but it also had the flaws. He looked at the two post cards; they both pictured a beautiful white sanded beach, watching over the warm sunset. Sandra was right either could be determined as his own little slice of paradise. He was swaying towards one, but thought he would let the postcards do the talking.

He mixed them up several times and closed his eyes as he pointed to the one on the right. He gulped when he finally plucked up the courage to open his eyes, coming to terms with his fate. His hand slightly shook as he turned the card over, he still couldn't believe this was how he was going to determine the rest of his intermediate future.

"Leave" he read aloud. "ha" he muttered. "Sandra you always did have a funny way of working out what was best for us, I guess I should start drafting my resignation."

Feel free to review it would be most welcome, I do hope this was alright. Gee x