***I DO NOT OWN RED VS. BLUE. THIS IS NOT A REAL PSA. OKAY, I JUST THOUGHT I'D POINT IT OUT. ***

Church: Hello, I'm Church from the web series Red vs. Blue. Recently, Caboose found—

Caboose: That's me

Church: Yeah, shut up dude. So, as I was saying—

Tucker: Oh, so you're not gonna introduce me? That's bullshit…

Church: Well maybe if you let me finish, I'd get to the point of this damn thing!

Tucker: Fine, whatever…go ahead.

Church: Good. So as I was saying—

Caboose: What were you saying?

Church: -angry- Oh my God, one more interruption out of either of you two and I'll—

Tucker: You'll what?

Church: GOD DAMN IT YOU—

Caboose: Um, Church?

Church: WHAT?

Caboose: Hi

Church: -aims gun- Control yourself, Church… -lowers gun-

Tucker: Can we get this thing over with!

Church: Good point. So as I was saying, recently Caboose found a small rabbit in the back of our base so then we were told to do a stupid PSA on animal adoption. So, if you think you want a pet, or maybe would just like to donate money, just contact us and we'll send you whatever animal we find here.

Caboose: -puts alligator on leash-

Tucker: Whoa! Where the fuck did you find that thing?

Caboose: Stop yelling! You are going to scare Scamp!

Tucker: -backs away-

Church: So far we have three rabbits, six squirrels, one Tucker, two kittens, sixteen rats, and one crocodile.

Tucker: I think it's an alligator, dude.

Church: Oh, it doesn't fucking matter.

Tucker: -mumbles- You will when I put it in your bed tonight…

Church: What?

Tucker: Nothing…

Church: …So, if you want an animal just call us and we'll send the little bastard to you as soon as possible.

Caboose: -breaks lamp- Oops!

Tucker: The lucky first caller will get Caboose for an extra five dollars!

Caboose: -gasps- Why is the leash broken…?

Tucker: Shit. Okay, you don't even have to pay; you'll get Caboose for free. Seriously, just take him. It'll be no problem at all. We'll even throw in a free bag of kibble for him! Just remember, he's not housebroken.

Church: Where the fuck is the crocodile?

Tucker: Alligator…

Caboose: Uh, Church…?

Church: What?

Caboose: Uh, Scamp is gone…

Church: Son of a bitch…

***Yes, I know it's dumb. The idea seemed a lot better in my head. –Mary***