I own nothing. This is Marvel's character and Marvel's alone.
Ever wondered what Bucky was thinking after saving Cap? Well, I wrote it down. Enjoy!
I look in the mirror. Hydra's Asset looks back at me. I lift the scissors in my hand and turn from my reflection. I cut the long hair the best I can without it. I don't want to be him.
Without looking at myself, I get in the shower. I won't admit it to anyone, but I'm terrified of being covered by still water. It feels like at any moment it could freeze over and I wake up. All this would become a dream: the best one I've ever had. I'd be the Asset again. So I take showers instead of baths. Because I don't want to be him.
The water runs off my shoulders, making a light clink on my metal arm. It reminds me of one of my first memories to resurface: my fall. Seeing the train get smaller, with it my best friend. That is the same friend I almost killed with my metal arm, twice. But I still have him around, if he'll forgive me. 'to the end of the line' we said. He freed me from a life of killing. I owe him for that. I don't want to kill again.
I scrub all over, like the sponge, cloth, and soap can erase seventy years of torture and deadly missions. I wash my face the most. As the Asset, I removed all emotion. My face doesn't know how to show it anymore. It feels stiff. I massage it and watch the black tinted water run down the drain. I don't want to wear a mask anymore.
I step out of the shower and try to look at my reflection. But the mirror is all foggy. I only used hot water because cold was a bad memory. The Asset was a cold blooded killer. His emotions were frozen. The ice the covered him between missions was freezing. His nickname, the Winter Soldier, was cold. I don't want to be him.
I ignore the foggy mirror and dry off. My eye catches the picture of the black, one-sleeved uniform I wore for Hydra. It was slumped over a chair by the wall. I stuff it in an empty basket. I ball up my sopping towel and throw it over it. I don't want to see it again.
I slip into a shirt and pair of slacks I was given. I turn back to the mirror to see a different face. This one I remember well. I smile and he returns it. His eyes are tired, but I understand. He has been fighting for seventy years trying to get memories to resurface and free me mentally from Hydra's power. It's working, he's done it. Because I remember. He is who I want to be, who I really am:
Bucky Barnes.
Yes I know kind of short. But it was a 'spur of the moment' kind of idea.
I love the Bucky/Steve bromance relationship because he was there for Steve and now Steve is there for Bucky. How they never give up on each other.
If you have any questions PM me. I'd love to hear feedback.