A/N Wrote this to Razor by foo fighters, Kryptonite and Loser by Three doors down, and Never too late by three days grace. Look for more coming soon hopefully!

WARNINGS- Attempted Suicide, dark thoughts, hallucinations.

Don't flame, please.

R&R

"You're my kryptonite." Saïx mutters in my ear.

I grin wolfishly. "Am I now?"

He smirks and pressing his lips to mine with a growl. "Yes."

"Good." I mutter against his lips.

All too soon the illusion fades and I back in my bed. Lying naked and cold on just an itchy blanket.

That's all gone now.

My life is all messy now.

Messy and dark and gooey and worthless.

No longer am I the loved straight A student I used to be. I am now worthless.

I am a druggie.

I am a pyromaniac.

I am homeless person laying naked in a shelter.

I am the son you kicked out for being gay.

I am the boyfriend you left for another older richer man.

I am the college drop out.

I sit up and pull on some pants.

It's time for me to do something about this.

I go to the largest bridge in the city. Over looking the deepest river.

I have no one to say good by too. So I don't leave a note.

'So your finally going to come see me huh Lea!"

I look to my left and there he is, the boy I fell for.

Isa.

"What are you doing here ?" He's sitting out on a ledge feet hanging over the edge of the bridge.

'Looking for you of course! I was wondering when you were going to come back to me. I've missed you so.'

He kicks his feet back and forth.

"Your dead?"

'Well duh.' He smirks.

Isa and I talk for a long time, until the sun starts to come up.

We talk about why he's dead, how he died, my life, our life.

'So are you coming to visit me or not?' He says.

"I don't know... I don't want to be dead."

By now there are people on the bridge walking past me with out even noticing me.

Isa is still out on a beam, only now he has ice cream.

'You can have one if you come with me. All you have to do it jump.'

I look down at the river. "Its a long way down... Wont it hurt?"

He smiles sadly. ' Yeah Lea... It will it really will.'

"I don't know if I want to do it then! I don't want to hurt."

"Sir, if you don't want to jump than why don't you come with me." I turn around. There standing behind me is two men. One of whom is Saïx. "Axel...?" He says a shocked look coming onto his face.

'Damn!' Isa says. I turn to face him again. ' I droped my ice cream. Lea will you go get it for me?'

"Why don't you go!" I tell him. "You're already dead!"

"Axel, come with me please." Saïx says.

"But your right there." I point to the ledge. "You just dropped an ice cream."

Concern flashes across his face. "No Ax, I'm right here. Come to me. I promise I wont hurt you."

I look back at Isa who is glaring at Saïx. 'Don't listen to him Lea, he's trying to trick you. Don't you want to come see me?'

"But your standing right here! And it'll hurt to come see you you said." I say. I grab my hair and tug feeling some come out. "I'm so confused!" I shout.

"Axel come to me okay? I'm the real me I promise." Saïx says holding out his hands. "I'm going to get you help."

I start to walk towards Saïx, and he smiles. This must be him, because he has the scar I remember.

I stop. "You wont hurt me right?" I ask him, hands still tangled in my hair.

"Of course not." He says. "I'm your friend. Now come here okay?"

I nod and walk into his arms which he quickly wraps around me. "Please don't leave me." I whisper into his shoulder.

"I wont Ax. I wont."

I walk to an ambulance still gripping to Saïx. "I need to let you go, but I'll be right next to you okay?" He says pushing me to climb in.

"Okay Saïx." I say to him climbing into the ambulance. Saïx climbs in next to me and sits on one of the seats.

The EMT's run through all the paper work, and check all the necessary things before I feel the vehicle lurch forward.

During the drive to the hospital I look at Saïx. I'm holding one of his hands and the other is cradling his head. I tap his hand and he looks at me, golden eyes filled with concern. "Yes Axel?"

"Am I still your kryptonite?"

He smiles sadly. "Yes Axel, you are still my kryptonite."

I almost can't believe he's a police officer. I never thought he'd really become one. I also never thought I'd see him again.

My head is clearing, and I feel less foggy. I'm glad I didn't listen to Isa... but I'm also scared. Why did I see Isa. Whats wrong with me. Where am I going from here.

"Axel, do you know what day it is?" The nice female EMT asks me. I shake my head, I haven't seen a calender in ages. "Have you fallen and or hit your head recently?" She asks, and I shake my head again.

"The last time I had head trauma was when my dad beat me. That was months ago." I say. She nods solemnly and jots something down on her clip board.

I turn to look at Saïx and he has he head in his hands again.

We arrive at the hospital (which is across the city) in about 20 minutes.

When we get there the EMT's wheel me in to the ER with Saïx in tow.

Once I'm on the bed in a room where everything is locked up Saïx comes to visit me. "Listen, Ax, I have to get back to work. My shift is only for another hour, than I'll be back okay?"

I just stare at him for a few moment. "Okay." I say finally. As he turns and starts to walk out I say, "Do you promise?"

He steps back into the room with a sad smile on his face. "I promise. I wont leave you again."

Even though I know I probably shouldn't, I trust him. "Okay. I trust you." I say. He nods and leaves the room.

When Saïx gets back he's in street clothes. A black vee-neck tee-shirt and a pair of jeans. He comes back before I see the doctor from psych or any other doctor for the matter.

Saïx has his hair in pony tail. "How are you doing?" He asks as he sits down.

I have the tv on. "I'm okay. A little freaked out."

He smirks, "That's to be expected." There is a pregnant pause where we both stare at the commercials on television.

"I'm sorry about everything Axel, I wish I would have been there for you." He says looking back at me.

I stare at him for a few moments, "Can you go get me some water." I say sighing. "I'm really thirsty."

In reality, I accept his apology, he just doesn't need to know that yet.

How was he suppose to know that after he left me my father would find out about us? How was he suppose to know my father would beat me half to death and kick me out of the house to live on the streets?

No one knows anything before it happens.

The doctors say I have a vitamin deficiency and head trauma. That's what made me see Isa. And that's what made me feel the way I did. They say with the proper treatment I and medications I should be fine.

Saïx agrees to let me stay at his house after I get released. He says it'll be better than being at that homeless shelter.

Over the next few days the pump me full of vitamins and electrolytes and by the time I leave I feel like a million bucks.

I just hope it lasts.

Saïx is taking me out shopping to get some new clothes. He tells me I can pay him back once I get back on my feet.

We go to the mall.

He holds my hand as we walk around.

I get a couple of outfits at the Gap, and we go for a slice of pizza from the food court.

Saïx lives out in the suburbs in a nice one story house.

He has a dog named Pluto.

His life is so normal.

It's almost sickening to me.

I find a job at a book store not far from the police station. I work during the days and Saïx okays it with his boss that he gets the shift while I'm working.

He doesn't let me have anytime to be alone.

Soon I'm buying food, and paying for things. I'm a normal person now.

Saïx takes me to my appointments with different doctors.

I gain more weight.

You can no longer see my hip bones.

One night Saïx kisses me.

We are sitting on the sofa (where I sleep) watching a movie and he leans over and kisses my cheek.

"I wish I could go back and change everything." He whispers in my ear, nuzzling my neck.

I turn my head and place a hand on his leg. "I forgive you." I mutter into his lips.

His golden eyes flicker from my lips to my eyes and back again. He kisses me firmly on the mouth, soft tongue running along the seam of my lips.

I open my mouth to him and shift so that my body is facing his.

He places one hand on my neck and the other grabs my hip, pulling it closer to him.

"I love you."

Neither of us know who said it first, but after that first night it's said all the time.

Saïx lets me sleep in bed with him now, me curled up against his chest.

We don't have sex together for a long time, he says he wants this relationship to be about more. He doesn't want to fuck with his second chance.

That's what this is, a second chance.

At life. At love.

I'm not going to fuck with my second chance.