Hi! So I was hanging with my friends at school, you know talking while the teacher was ranting about our novel and making helpless kids read out loud. Then my friend go called on and she hated reading out loud! So can you guess what she said? "I'm sorry Ms., but I have a disorder which makes me unable to speak aloud." And so it goes, we all start giggling. The teacher, "Honey, as much as I want to believe that… I didn't believe one but… Read." So she read and in the end my other friend is staring her down like some creeper. She screams " STOP STARING AT ME!" and thwacks her on the head hard enough for the entire class to hear and start whispering, but no loud enough for our teacher to hear. So, yep, that is my story about my life today. But, just so you know, that teacher is so awesome! She doesn't notice if you get up and walk to the other side of the room and sit down to talk with your friends, won't really care if you draw on the board while she is teaching, or won't yell at you if she sees you passing notes! Ya Gotta Love Gifted Teachers!

ANYWAYS! I got this idea after that happened….

This story is the funniest things each house member could say per chapter during the holidays!

Underlined puns are the funnies I came up with.

Disclaimer: I don't own HOA but I do own my funny puns! No one better steal them or they are going DOWN!

Amber

I walked downstairs and saw Mick kissing Mara. I was angry because I could see she was holding a candy cane in her hands, the same kind Mick had given me earlier that day. I loudly hummed and they turned and noticed me. Finally, about time. I tapped my foot to a simple beat.

"Amber, babe, it is NOT what it looks like!" Mick dropped Mara and came to me.

"Save it Mick, I want to hear Mara's side of this story!" I shouted back.

Mara looked between us and spoke,

"Ok, so Mick gave me this candy cane and I was thanking him. The end!" She faintly smiled.

"Well, guess what Mick! We are OVER! Haha! And Mara, I'll let you know- My cane is so much candier than yours!"

New

I stepped down the final step of Anubis house into the snow.

"OMG! Someone spilled all their white glitter on the ground. Just like last year! It is just like the imaginary stuff in Christmas stories. Snow!"

Jerome walked up laughing.

"Amber, you know when we were 12 and you were gullible and you moved here from The Bahamas? And we told you there was imaginary things called snow? And you asked what it really was and we said the next door neighbor's glitter bottle? Yes, we lied. That is snow. Look it up on Google. I am sure you can learn ALL about it!

I sat down in then snow and sighed.

"So this is what the snow feels like! Cool!"

New

I walked in the Anubis door and saw a shiny pile of leaves hanging from the ceiling.

"Trudy, how could you! Rubies do NOT belong in stupid leaves hanging from the roof! Duh, they are made to wear around Amber's perfect neck!"

I grabbed it and held it above my head so no one would bump into me and let it drop.

I bumped into Fabian with the rubies above our heads.

"Hi Fabian!"

"Ummm, Amber…. I refuse to kiss you, because I love Nina!"

"Why would I kiss you?"

"Because! You are holding mistletoe above your head. Mistletoe means you have to kiss the person under it with you. Go hold it over Alfie or something!" with that he walked off.

"WHY DID HE JUST CALL THIS MISTLETOE! Duh, these are rubies with leaves. But, hey, are you going to let fake 'mistletoe' brake an awesome chance to kiss some boys! Rubies are way better girl's friends than diamonds! YAY!" I screamed and skipped back to school and to the boy's football practice.

Hi, sorry there are only three. The only one that made me laugh was the first one, which is my phone's text signatures! Please pm me with ideas! Peace!