Never
calikocat
word count: 4642
A/N: Another Ikkaku/Keigo fic, from Keigo's point of view.
Warnings: Character death, but in the Bleach verse that doesn't matter so much, human death is only the end of human life. There is still the after life.
XXX
He never saw death coming.
Sure he knew he would die someday, all humans do, he just didn't think it would happen so soon or so fast. He thought he would at least have time to scream, or run, but fate is a twisted sister and gave him time for neither. One second he was opening his mouth to yell, to tell everyone around him to get away, and then the inferno took him. He still didn't know why the train had blown up in the first place.
He thought dying would hurt, but really it was too fast to feel anything other than surprise. There was just a bright fiery flash and then he was on his feet in the burnt out train car with a chain hanging from his chest. He left the train as soon as possible, ran as fast as his new ghostly body would allow. The scene of his death wasn't a pretty one and he didn't want to linger by his crispy corpse.
He ran out of the tunnels and to the surface, tears streaming down his face, though he couldn't really feel them, being a ghost and all. After everything they'd survived, the weird Hollow attacks, the Bounts, that crazy war, being in Soul Society with Aizen bearing down on them...and he died in an explosion. God. And now he couldn't even say goodbye to Ichigo because the idiot had lost his spiritual powers. At least he could say goodbye to the others, although...they were all pretty busy. He shook his head, it would be better to give them some warning before they heard the news from strangers. He just didn't know if he could do it.
With that in mind he made his way towards Urahara's shop, the former Shinigami would be able to let everyone know what had happened. That way if Afro-san, useless Shinigami that he was, decided to send him off at least he'd have gotten the word out.
xxx
Urahara was sitting on the porch fanning himself when he got there.
"Ah, Asano-san! It's been a while hasn't it-" Urahara blinked, his mouth dropping open. "Oh Asano-san." He stood and took a step toward him. "How did it happen?"
Keigo shrugged. "The subway train exploded, I'm just glad it didn't hurt, happened too fast ya know."
Urahara nodded. "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
He nodded. "Keep Afro-san away from me? Only for a while, and tell the others what happened. I don't want them to find out I died on the news or whatever."
Urahara gave him a sympathetic smile. "You need to cross over before your chain disintegrates."
"I know, but I don't want Afro-san to send me off. There's only one shinigami that I want for the job. And he's in the human world right now. I was actually on my way home to him when the train blew up."
If anything Urahara's eyes softened. "Do you want me to call your apartment and let Madarame-san know?"
He shook his head. "No, I'll go there next so I can say goodbye before he sends me off. But...Urahara-san...will I remember him when I get to Soul Society? Will I remember any of this life when I get there?"
"Normally, no, you wouldn't, but after everything you've been exposed to I think you'll keep your memories."
Keigo smiled. "Thank you, I needed to hear that." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, I'd best be on my way, tell everyone I'll miss them would you?"
"Of course. May I ask a question?"
"Sure."
"You are being awfully accepting of this, why?"
Keigo smiled. "What else can I do? Besides, death isn't the end, there's more waiting for me. I'll be back eventually."
"Oh?"
He grinned at the blond store owner. "What? You think that after everything I've seen, and after everything my friends have done, you think that I'm going to be idle in the afterlife? Not a chance."
Urahara's smile was soft, mischievous, and he snapped his fan open again. "Good luck to you then Asano-san. I'm sure you'll become a great shinigami."
Keigo smirked and walked away.
xxx
Somehow he managed to avoid any number of people who could see him. Ishida had been battling a Hollow in the distance, too far away to sense a simple ghost like Keigo. Inoue ran by, never even noticing him on her way to her job, and he went out of his way to avoid Chad, and Tatsuki. He was sure they would all miss him, but he was a chicken and didn't have the courage to actually say goodbye to them.
However Karin, Ichigo's younger sister, saw him. She'd seen his chain; gave him sad eyes and he'd waved her off and smiled. He was okay, he wasn't sad about his death. When she tried to talk to him he'd ruffled her hair and told her not to worry about him. Ichigo would need her more than he would.
Finally he made it to his apartment that he shared with Mizuho and Ikkaku when his lover was in the human realm. He stared up at the building, and felt a little guilty about that, always had since Ichigo lost his powers. Ichigo couldn't see, hear, or sense any of their friends from Soul Society anymore, unless they got a gigai (faux body). However there was no real reason for them to do that, they didn't need to blend in with humans anymore, they only needed to do their regular stints fighting Hollow. So Ichigo hadn't seen any of their old friends and Keigo knew that it had made his friend more distant than ever. Keigo hadn't either, Rukia, Renji, Yumichika and Rangiku simply hadn't been around. The only shinigami that were ever in Karakura were Afro-san...and Ikkaku.
He didn't know how Ikka had managed it, but every time a shinigami other than Afro-san was working the town, it was always Ikkaku. It was heartwarming to know that Ikkaku cared enough about him to volunteer to work here every chance he got. It was nice to have someone to go home to, someone to sleep with, talk to, have sex with. It was kind of domestic, not a word he ever thought he'd associate with Ikkaku.
Slowly he made his way up to the apartment, his sister would be at work, so he'd get his chance to say goodbye to Ikkaku. Silently he passed through the door and gazed around the neat apartment.
"You're late Kei—-" He turned to look at Ikkaku, his lover's eyes widened shock. "Oh god Keigo." In a second Ikkaku was across the room and had his arms wrapped around him, and he let the tears fall.
"I came to say goodbye." Keigo whispered into the black uniform Ikkaku wore.
"How?"
"It doesn't matter, I didn't feel it happen."
Ikkaku pulled back and looked down at him. "I'm sorry. You can't stay here."
"I know, but I'm not ready to leave just yet." Keigo met Ikkaku's eyes. "Make me feel alive before you send me off? Please?"
The tiniest of smiles made Ikkaku's lips quirk and anyone else would have missed it. But they'd been lovers for more than a year and it was easy for Keigo to see it. Ikkaku cupped his face carefully and kissed him.
They made their way to the bedroom slowly, walking through the walls before collapsing on the bed. Ikkaku had never been so gentle with him before. His movements were slow, careful; he treated Keigo like he was afraid he would break. Kind of strange considering he was already dead. They were careful about removing his clothes though; they wanted as much time as possible so they carefully removed his shirt, trying to disturb his chain as little as they could.
Keigo wasn't as careful with Ikkaku's clothes, pushing them off hurriedly, nearly ripping them to get to the skin beneath. He nipped and sucked and kissed at every inch he could reach, he wanted to map Ikkaku's body like never before, who knew when they'd get to do this again?
"We have time Keigo. Let me take care of you."
"You always take care of me." He muttered back, causing Ikkaku to chuckle.
Suddenly he was on his back and Ikkaku had a slick finger inside of him, flexing and nudging at his prostate. He moved and writhed against that single digit, glaring when Ikkaku withdrew, and again he laughed at him, before adding another finger and began scissoring them. Keigo was already hard and he opened his legs wider. "What are waiting for Ikka? A verbal invitation?"
Ikkaku barked out a laugh and slicked his cock up before sliding in with ease. "Pushy little bastard."
Keigo sighed in content when Ikkaku was fully sheathed inside his body. "You love it."
"Yeah."
"Gonna miss this." He shifted his hips. "You gonna move?"
"In a minute," Ikkaku gazed down at him, his rough hands running up and down Keigo's body, stroking him, memorizing all that he saw. "We should have done more."
Keigo shifted again. "Move soon, please?"
Ikkaku smirked and pulled out, thrust back in and began a rhythm. It was easy to follow, not rushed, but not slow either. "I should have let you top at least once."
Keigo blinked and looked up at him in question, hips still moving in Ikkaku's rhythm. "That's what you meant by more?"
"Yeah."
"How long can we say goodbye?" Keigo tried to keep his expression innocent, not an easy thing to do with Ikkaku's cock in his ass.
"That Afro-idiot and Ishida can handle the hollows for one night." Ikkaku smirked when Keigo's cock twitched. "Like that idea?"
Keigo growled and pulled him down for a kiss. "Shut up already."
xxx
They made it last as long as they could, learning each other's bodies over and over again, hard, fast, slow, gentle. The two of them fucked and made love every way they could think of. By the time the sun was rising the next morning Keigo was on top, thrusting into Ikkaku for the fifth time.
"Harder! I won't break you brat." Ikkaku growled.
Keigo snorted and held onto the older man's hips and slammed into the hard body below him as hard and as fast as he could. Ikkaku stiffened, his spine bowed and he screamed as Keigo hit his prostate, pounding it relentlessly until he came. The clenching around Keigo's cock was all it took to bring him over the edge and he followed with a cry, collapsing onto Ikkaku.
"Damn." Ikkaku whispered, running his fingers through Keigo's hair.
"Mmph." Keigo was incapable of words but the sentiment was there.
"We should have done that a lot sooner."
Keigo sucked on the tan skin under him. "How much longer?"
"We can wait a little while longer."
Keigo sighed. "Can we just lie like this a while then?"
"Sure."
"Thank you. For Everything."
xxx
He was wearing the clothes he'd died in; none of his other clothes had a place for his chain to go through. They were on the roof, bathed in the light from the morning sun. By now Urahara had probably told everyone that he'd died. He thought maybe he should be sadder.
"What are you thinking?" Ikkaku stood behind him, arms wrapped around him.
"That I'm not sad."
"Oh?"
"What we did, it was goodbye Ikka."
"I know."
"But not forever."
"Keigo—when you get to Rukongai you probably won't remember anything."
Keigo turned to face him, and pulled him down for a kiss, practically devouring the older man's mouth before breaking away. "I won't forget you."
Ikkaku smiled down at him. "Sure you won't."
Keigo smiled. "I love you."
"I know." The smile faded. "We can't put this off. Are you ready?"
Keigo nodded and stepped back. "Do your thing."
Ikkaku unsheathed his zanpakuto, the hilt clutched tightly in his hand. "Keigo. I don't—I'm not ready to let you go. I love you."
Keigo smiled, his eyes watered, but he smiled, he'd always known how Ikkaku felt. "I know, but I told you, this was only goodbye for now. But Ikkaku, I don't expect you to sit around and wait for me."
"Don't say that. There's no one else Keigo, there never will be. You are it. I'd wait a thousand years for you, more if I need to."
"Thank you, but I don't think it'll take me that long to find you again." He kept up his smile. "You're stalling Ikka."
"Yeah. You sure you're ready?"
"I'm sure."
Ikkaku stepped closer to him, bringing the hilt of his zanpakuto up to Keigo's forehead. "I will wait for you." He leaned down and placed a kiss on Keigo's lips one last time, simultaneously pressing the hilt against his lover's forehead. There was a flash of light and then all Ikkaku could do was watch the hell butterfly drift away on the wind.
He watched it until he could see it no more.
xxx
Rukongai sucked. There was no other way to describe it. Especially District 80. Just his luck he ended up in the worst part of Soul Society. Keigo had a feeling that if people knew just what 'heaven' was like they'd object to dying more than they already did.
He'd arrived wearing old fashioned rags in the form of a robe that barely covered his ass and wondered what kind of pervert assigned wardrobes for the newly dead. If he ever found out he'd probably take a baseball bat to their skull. A baseball bat with spikes.
Within an hour of waking up in a dingy alley he'd been attacked four times and proved to himself that he wasn't as weak as he'd thought. He'd bested each of the men that had tried to accost him. The first, while drunk, had been twice his size, but he was slow and Keigo was much faster. Before he'd realized what had happened the big guy had fallen on his knife and died there in that alley. Keigo wondered if he should be worried that he didn't feel bad about taking a life, even if it was that of another spirit. However he shook off his musings and kept the knife and the small bag of coins from the man's belt. He'd have taken the guys sandals too, but they were too big.
The next three attempted muggings were fast and put his skills to the test. Luckily he'd gotten used to dodging various attacks from Ichigo, Tatsuki, and Ikkaku, though being attacked by his lover had always been much more fun. He'd dodged their punches with ease, almost grace and knocked them on their asses, through walls, and one actually fell down a well.
It surprised him that though district 80 was supposed to be the roughest area in Soul Society, the people were really weak. They were low in spiritual power and lay around doing nothing, when they weren't getting drunk or trying to kill one another. He didn't stay there long; he had a promise to keep.
xxx
Ten districts, he'd been dead for three weeks and had only managed to get to district 70. It was still hard going and he couldn't really tell much difference between it and district 80, except that the people here were stronger in spiritual power. A few of them actually needed food every now and then, unlike Keigo who always felt hungry. So he kept on.
By the time he reached district 60 he was six weeks dead and had made a name for himself, though only a select few new that name. They called him Mozou Neko. It was a stupid name, and really it wasn't his fault he had a knack for memorizing attacks and duplicating them. But he had to admit it was a handy skill...he just hoped the stupid nickname didn't spread past district 60.
Two and half weeks later he was in district 50, and the name Mozou Neko was often whispered in the shadows, and ran rampant in the dark alleys. If he ever found out who'd made such a big deal out of it he be sure to bury them. In concrete. Luckily though he didn't actually stand out that much with his ordinary looks, and no one actually knew what the Mozou Neko looked like. Mostly what was being said was hearsay and rumors. One rumor said he was a wannabe Shinigami that had been kicked out of the Academy. Another was that he was a hollow masquerading as a soul. And one far out theory was that he was an escaped experiment from some crazy guy's lab. The people in district 50 seriously needed a life.
Two weeks more and he was in district 40. There were drunks, bars, and brawls, but nothing like the chaos he'd already witnessed. What he really liked about district 40 was how the quality of goods had improved. He'd managed to save up enough money from his various activities to buy real clothes. Man was it nice to have pants again. Pants made everything so much better. Big guys who liked pretty boys were less tempted when you had pants to cover your ass. Yes indeed, pants were a definite plus, the best thing to happen so far, well other than the food. And there was food here, real food. Not very good food, it was kinda bland actually, but it was so much more filling than anything else he'd come across.
It wasn't until he reached District 30 that he saw his first Shinigami patrol. And being the naive newly dead that he was he actually tried to talk to them. The only thing that kept him from getting his skull bashed in was years of conditioning from Ichigo and Tatsuki. The shinigami hit hard, but Ichigo hit like a brick wall given life. Either way though, he'd learned his lesson, he wouldn't talk to a shinigami again until he found his way to the academy.
xxx
Getting into the Shinigami Academy was interesting. In fact he was afraid that he wouldn't get in at all. It was mostly because the try out session for his group of candidates turned into a brawl. And it was all because someone recognized him. What was supposed to be a nice structured series of tests to determine if they had what it took to enter the Academy, turned into a complete free for all brawl.
And the teachers just let it happen. Of course that probably had something to do with the fact that the creepy pink haired girl declared that whoever was left standing could join her division. No one seemed to want to disagree with her; he didn't blame them, because the menacing aura from her was enough to make anyone stand down.
They had started out standing before a platform, there were about fifty candidates in all, and only the first tryout of the week, evidently there would be other groups applying later on. A teacher, Gengorou Onabara was giving a speech telling everyone what they would need to do to pass when it happened. That stupid nickname started circulating among the applicants. It was whispered in fear and awe...and in hatred. Someone had recognized him.
When a heavy hand landed on his shoulder he looked behind him, then up and up some more. The guy glaring down at him was bigger than Chad, and looked just a little familiar.
"They say you're the Mozou Neko." Tall big and ugly sneered.
Keigo shrugged and smiled. "I've never gone by that name. You shouldn't listen to gossip." He slipped his shoulder from the man's grip and tried to step away. Two more guys blocked his way. Damn. He turned to face the ugly one.
"I saw you. You cut down my brother in cold blood."
Keigo folded his arms and tried not to pout. He'd been dead fourteen weeks. That was ninety-eight days...he'd only been dead three and half months and he had a freakin' rep. This sucked. "When and where did you see this happen?"
"Six weeks ago in district 54 in West Rukongai."
Keigo stared at him closely for a moment. "Oh yeah, that guy who ran the brothel and who wanted to force me into service. Ya know he started it, and I totally did not want to work for him. He couldn't take no for an answer. It's not my fault he's dead. I just didn't want to be his bitch." That probably wasn't the smartest thing to say. But if there was one thing he learned from his time in Rukongai, it was not to pull your punches. You lived longer that way.
They attacked him as one; he dodged, and kept dodging. They were slow, stupid and depended on their size too much. Their swords slashed at him, and he darted around the blows, nicking them multiple times with his knives. When he could he surprised them with blows to their bodies, they never expected him to make contact, but he was fast and small and not a big target. They were dazed and bleeding in no time.
And then they started stumbling and dragging others into the fray. It was then the pink haired girl declared that whoever was left standing could skip the Academy and join her unit. Which didn't help him; in fact more and more candidates started attacking him.
That was then he started using his bag of tricks. In the three and half months he'd been dead he had picked up several styles of brawling, fighting, and sleight of hand, which he used then. He tripped them, stole their weapons, threw his homemade explosives at them, or just slipped the bomb in someone's shirt...that tended to make them panic. Then he used his original moves on them...well he only had one, and it was pretty effective. He called it bubble gum. Stupid name, but it fit.
The first time he used it back in district sixty the opponents had been stuck together for hours. It was a good way to incapacitate several opponents at once. He had formed a bit of energy in his hand, imagined a sticky bubble of gum exploding, and threw it at the gang coming after him. It hit them and exploded...and they were stuck fast in a tangle of sticky, gummy energy.
He used it during the candidate brawl, several times because the idiots just kept coming after him. And nearly an hour later he was the only one standing...and that was only because he was leaning heavily on a club he had stolen. Assholes.
Then that damn pink haired cherub had bounced over to him and tugged on his sleeve.
"What the hell do you want?"
She just grinned at him. "Baldy has missed you Neko-chan."
Keigo froze...and grinned back. "You're a brat you know that."
She just kept grinning and proceeded to drag him to who knows where; when an old man called out to her. Keigo glared at him, it was all he was up to doing, as he was barely walking. The old man chuckled.
"He'll still needs to take a few classes Yachiru."
She waved with the hand that wasn't holding tight to his sleeve. "Kay! But I'm taking him home to Baldy now. Ikkaku's missed his boy toy!"
That seemed to surprise the old man and he looked at Keigo closely. "What is your name Shinigami?"
Keigo looked back at him. "Asano Keigo."
"Where do you hale from?"
"District eighty. Before that Karakura town."
That comment made the old man's eyes open in surprise. "You..."
"Died in an explosion fourteen weeks ago." He shrugged. "I told Urahara to tell everyone goodbye for me and Ikkaku did my soul burial. And by the way, what jerk assigns clothes to the newly dead? Because only a pervert would pick out something that barely covers the ass like that."
The old man snorted but didn't answer. "Take Asano to the eleventh's barracks, Yachiru. He's likely tired."
"Kay!"
Keigo let her drag him, and kept using the club for support. After all he had no idea where he was going.
xxx
He was practically asleep walking by the time they made it to the barracks, Yachiru's constant chatter had pretty much lulled him to that state. When she dragged him into an office he was jolted awake by her screech.
"KEN-CHAN!"
A huge man wearing an eye patch jolted awake, simultaneously wiping away the drool that had collected on his chin from his nap. He glared at the little girl as she jumped on his desk.
"What now Yachiru?"
"We have a new member." She pointed at Keigo.
"That pipsqueak? Who said he could join?"
"Me and Yamamoto-jiji said he could. He was the last one standing." She grinned at the big guy and it was devilish. "He blew people up with bombs! And used sticky stuff! And I'm taking him to Baldy now."
"What? Why?"
"Cause he's Baldy's."
The big guy looked at him. "You wanna clear this up for me kid?"
Keigo nodded, wearily. "A fight broke out among the candidates. Then she," He pointed at the girl. "Declared that whoever was still standing could join her division."
"Keigo was the only one standing." Yachiru said proudly.
"Keigo..." The big guy, who he guessed was a captain, blinked slowly, before smirking. "Ikkaku's boy toy."
Keigo shrugged. "I've been called worse."
"Get him out of here Yachiru. I'll start the paperwork."
"Kay, just don't drool on it Ken-chan!"
"Oi!"
Yachiru hopped off the desk and dragged him back out of the office.
xxx
He ignored her chatter. At that point he just wanted to sleep for a week, maybe a month. Stupid assholes.
"BALDY!"
"Don't call me that!"
"I brought you a present!" Yachiru bounced as Ikkaku came into view.
"I don't want any of your candy you stupid pink haired freak!"
Keigo blinked. "Ikkaku?"
Ikkaku stopped. And stared. "Keigo?"
His weariness forgotten Keigo dashed for all he was worth, evidently surprising Ikkaku with his speed when he tackled the older Shinigami. Lips met lips, teeth clashed and it was the best thing Keigo had felt in fourteen weeks.
Then the jibes and cat calls started. Ikkaku broke the kiss to yell at the onlookers, but before he could Keigo snarled at them and threw the club he was still holding. When the Shinigami who'd been making the rude noises didn't get back up the rest of the crowd kept quiet.
Yachiru however proceeded to scold the bleeding and unconscious division member. "You shouldn't tease Baldy's boy toy. They haven't seen each other since Keigo-chan died, and besides he's the Mozou Neko. And he can make people explode!"
"You made people explode?" Ikkaku asked him.
"Bombs."
"You made bombs?"
"Yep." Keigo yawned. "Can I pass out now? I just finished beating the crap out of like fifty guys."
Ikkaku gaped at him and nodded. "Sure."
"Kay." And he did.
XXX
A/N: Mozou Neko: Mimicking Cat, Mimic Cat, Imitating Cat, Copy Cat...whichever translation works for you. XD