paddyofurniture prompted (among other things): "Burt and Carol adapting to parenting a youngster again."

My niece was born this past Monday (in a way eerily reminiscent of the way Susan was born in ExtN - she's fine just like Susan is, it was just weird how things worked out), so I'm kind of going to be using this fic to come to terms with having a new baby in my own life. At the moment I have no intention of these chapters linking up into any cohesive narrative, they'll simply be anecdotes or things I find interesting/amusing/etc. about adjusting to life with a baby/toddler.

I don't own Glee.

"So that's what girls look like down there," Kurt mused as Burt expertly changed Susie's diaper. Burt glanced over to where Carole lay on the hospital bed and shared a smirk with her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Blaine trying to hide a smile on the other side of the room where he shared the couch with an uneasy-looking Finn.

"Well, they do change a bit as they get older," Burt replied. "But yeah, that's basically what girls look like."

"Huh. Weird." Kurt blinked disinterestedly and went back to sorting through the assortment of onesies he and the boys had brought from home. Burt allowed himself to chuckle but refrained from clapping his son on the shoulder; Kurt would definitely glare at him and in the frame of mind he was in today Burt's best comeback would be to beam stupidly. Of course he suspected he was doing that anyway, but he'd still rather his son respect him at least a little bit.

With a familiarity that felt a little odd after not doing it for some seventeen years, Burt rolled the sleeves of Susie's onesie and carefully pulled her arms through them one at a time. She immediately stuck her fist in her mouth as he released her second arm and he began snapping the garment closed, tucking an errant foot back in the leg hole as he did.

It was funny: almost from day one, Kurt had definitely helped whoever was dressing him to do it more quickly, to the point that he was practically dressing himself by the time he could walk. Susie on the other hand liked to flail her legs and pull her hands away when she was being dressed. He got the feeling she'd definitely prefer to be a naked baby.

"So, we're, like, not going to be expected to do that, right?" Finn asked. He looked damn awkward sitting on that couch with his knees pulled up like that. "Change diapers, I mean. It's kind of gross."

"Honey, you pooed on your father the first time he changed your diaper and he never once complained," Carole said as she shifted the position of that water heating pad thing the nurses had hooked her up with. Burt didn't remember Elizabeth having one of those when Kurt was born, so he figured it was either a newer invention or something they only gave to C-section patients.

Finn flinched. "Yeah, so not helping with that."

"You'll help your mother with anything she asks you to do. We're all grown men here," Burt said, making sure each of the boys met his eyes before continuing. "You can handle it."

"Besides, changing Susan's diapers won't be anything near the adventure it was changing yours," Carole said with a pointed look at Finn. "I swear, half the time anyone went to change your diaper you'd pee in their face. As soon as the cool air hit your bottom, bam! A jet of pee would come flying out of you."

Kurt and Blaine both choked back snickers as Finn turned red. He almost perfectly matched his letterman jacket.

Burt chuckled and checked the temperature of the tiny bottle of yellow colostrum he'd had Blaine put in a cup of hot water a few minutes ago. "Don't get too comfortable there, Kurt. You were just about as bad your first couple of months." Kurt stopped laughing and turned a darker red than Finn. "You got your Aunt Karen right in the eye once."

"Well, I never did like her much," Kurt said loftily, tilting his chin up in defense. "Apparently my disdain for her simply started sooner than even I thought."

Blaine grinned at him and got up to rub his shoulders. "Male babies are kind of prone to that. I was peed on a couple of times babysitting some of my younger cousins," he said lightly. "It's not a big deal."

"Now I'm definitely not changing her diapers," Finn said with a shudder. "I'll help with other stuff, but I'm not doing that."

"Yeah, you say that now," Burt said ominously. He picked up the baby and held the bottle out. "Any of you boys want to try feeding her?"

Kurt and Finn looked nervous and a little petrified, but Blaine's face lit up like Christmas. Burt handed him the bottle and carefully cradled Susie into the crook of Blaine's arm. Even Carole hadn't looked quite so excited the first time Susie ate.

Blaine held the nipple of the bottle to her lips and tried to coax her to open her mouth to it, but Susie turned her head away and whimpered, attempting to squirm away in her swaddle. Burt really hoped this wouldn't be one of the times Susie refused to eat despite wailing like she was starving.

"It's all right, SuLee, milk is good for you," Blaine almost sang to her, rubbing the tip of the nipple along her lower lip in an odd pattern. She opened her mouth almost immediately and started sucking.

"Would you look at that," Burt muttered to himself. "How'd you know that would work?"

Blaine blushed a bit and Burt caught him stopping himself from looking at Kurt. "Um, I wasn't sure it would, but it was just something I thought might work."

Kurt shifted and quickly walked over to join Finn on the couch.

Burt didn't want to know.

"Well, you'll have to show me later. It'll be nice not having to stress about her not eating when she's hungry."

"Of course," Blaine said, barely looking up from his awed gaze at Susie. Burt had certainly never expected the kid to take to her as well as he had. He just hoped Kurt and Finn would pick up a little of that and stop looking like the world was ending anytime someone mentioned one of them holding the baby. They wouldn't break her.

"So, when are you guys going to come home?" Finn said, fiddling with a water bottle he'd bought downstairs.

"After tomorrow Susie's probably going to check out. She's eating now and they just have a few more tests they want to run. It's pretty much just me we're waiting on," Carole said. Burt noticed her eyes drooping a bit. He'd have to kick the boys out soon so she could sleep. Lord knew she never allow herself to rest while they were here.

"Wait, I thought you said you were fine," Finn really needed to calm down.

"She is," Burt said, dragging the boy's slightly panicked gaze away from his mom. "But our insurance will pay for up to four days for her in the hospital cause she had a C-section."

"And as terrible as the food is, I am not giving up this bed before I have to." As if to prove her point, Carole reached up to push the button that moved the head of the bed down. Burt was definitely kicking the boys out once Susie finished with her bottle.

"You know, we can always bring you something from home," Kurt said. "I found a recipe recently for a great-looking soup I've been wanting to try. I can make it tomorrow and bring it for lunch."

"That sounds wonderful," Carole smiled. "Why don't you bring enough for everyone and we'll make it a family meal?"

Kurt grinned and nodded, always eager to play the caregiver. Except when it came to the baby of course. Susie made a little discontented sound.

"Oh, do you have a burp?" Blaine asked her, quickly setting down the bottle and tilting her upward so he could pat her back. Burt wondered just how many babies he'd taken care of before. Teenage boys were usually the last people Burt thought about asking to babysit, but Blaine was handling Susie like a pro.

Susie quickly let out a belch even Burt could hear from four feet away.

"Good girl, SuLee. Do you want more?" Blaine picked up the bottle and got her to suck on it again. Maybe they should put Blaine in charge of feeding her all the time. Burt didn't think the baby had ever eaten this much in one go.

In next to no time, Susie had emptied the bottle and Blaine set her back in the plastic bassinet/cart thing the hospital had provided, gently readjusting her cap before standing up straight again. Burt clapped him on the shoulder.

"All right, I love that you boys gave up your Friday night to come here, and thank you, Blaine for actually getting Susie to eat a whole bottle," the boy beamed at him and Burt made a mental note to give him praise more often; he hadn't been smiling as much recently as he used to. Not since his asshole dad came by at Christmas. "But now I'm kicking you all out."

"Burt-" Carole started.

"No, you need your rest. And I'm sure there's some party somewhere the boys are missing out on. As long as you're all safe and you don't drink anything I don't really care how late you stay out tonight." Finn in particular looked excited at this prospect. "I'm turning a blind eye this once cause a lot's gonna change when we get home. I'm trusting you." He looked at Kurt a bit longer than the other two when he said this, not in the least liking the way his eyes lit up when he glanced at Blaine.

The boys all quickly made sounds of agreement, gathering their coats and giving Carole quick hugs before they left. Finn even risked petting Susie's head on his way out, snatching his hand back quickly after he touched her as though he was afraid to wake her up from her almost instant nap.

Burt smiled. They'd all be fine.