Cruel to the Eyes
A sequel to 'To Hush, Or Not To Hush'
Author's Note: You could read this as a standalone, but to avoid confusion and going "What the hell is going on?!", please read 'To Hush, Or Not To Hush'. Title borrowed from the lyrics of Blue's latest song, "Breathe Easy". Enjoy the fic J
It was never supposed to be this easy – the acceptance of a loss. The loss of a son, her son, her third son. The one who would do everything in his power to make sure she had nothing to worry about. Inadvertently, this very son was the one that she spent the most worrying about since his disappearance.
Of course, she refused to accept it as a loss. He wasn't dead, Merlin forbid or anything like that. He was just … away. She supposed that was the reason why she could cope so well, could live life so normally. All she had to do was to continue thinking that he had gone on an extended holiday or he had to work somewhere far away from home. That the only reason why she had yet to hear from him was because he was very busy with important things. Being busy helps her mind not to dwell and ruminate on things too much. Their family, well clan really, was a large one to begin with. There were lots of things to take care of. Meals to prepare, letters to write that will be sent by owls all over – Hogwarts, Egypt and Romania. But she's not just a mother anymore. Her clan has expanded. Not simply a mother, but a mother's mother or a father's mother. She was a grandmother with beautiful grandchildren to smother with love and additions to the family to take care of and pamper.
It was busy. So, so very busy. Every time she thinks everything is done, something else pops up. The house is never really empty. Once in a while, someone drops by. It would be the twins, or her eldest with his own family. Despite everyone's busy schedule, everyone met once a month for a family dinner and absolutely no one, no one absented themselves. These weekly dinners were scared. Everyone knows why without saying anything about it. They would set up tables in the garden, since their dining room could no longer accommodate the entire Weasley clan. Besides, it was wonderful to dine with the stars watching over you.
She never remembered how the dinner tradition started. She supposes that she is getting old. They never used to do that, but suddenly, it had become part of their lives. She always looked forward to it. It always reminded her that she had such a large, noisy and wonderful family. It made her remember that she was never alone, that they all had each other. Perhaps, it was their chance to show everyone and each other that they were a perfect family. A perfect family that had managed to drive away one of their own.
She sighed. It wouldn't do to harbor this kind of attitude. No one knew why he left after all. But one thing was true: they never forgot about him. How could they? He was family. A son and a brother. Annoying, a prat, perfect perhaps. No matter the teasing, he was loved. They didn't say it out loud all the time. But it was made known in other subtle ways. They always left a place for him during their dinners. An empty place at the long table. They were always hoping, hope beyond hope, that he would come back. So that this clan, this family will be whole again. Then, it would be so much easier to say his name and talk about him. What a lovely thought, to be able to see him and talk to him! To hear him talk about cauldrons or new Ministry laws…Wishes can come true you know.
Her grandchildren used to ask about the empty place: who's sitting there? Why is it always empty? Are you waiting for someone?
It was difficult to answer and the children found it hard to understand. So they stopped asking and learnt to accept the empty place at the table. So much so it became a norm.
There will always be a time, she realizes, that all the noise and the other sounds that signified life would eventually fade away. It would be the time when everyone would return to their own homes and beds. When the house is finally silent again, she remembers the pain.
The pain of the one still searching for the lost son, waiting for the prodigal son to return. The heart ache of a mother who has no idea what happened to her child. She has taken to checking the Family Clock obsessively. It had become a compulsion. Sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night to check the Clock. She would check and double check. Her eyes, frantically following the movement of the hands. She would always take the longest time at his clock hand. She would be relieved that he would always be safe but the relief would turn to pain as she wondered when the clock would point to Home.
It was cruel. To make herself go through this strange ritual.
But she knows, this is her only link to sanity.
Author's note, part duex: Just wanted to say that the shift from present tense to past tense is intentional. My apologies for the depressing nature of this fic. The reason is solely due to my state of mind. Due to my stupidity, I may have screwed up my Psych finals. Anyway I know some of you wanted Percy to come back so that it would be one big happy family. Well, if you really, really, really want it to end on a happy note, tell me about it in the reviews *grins* This series has not ended yet. As usual, if you liked it, please review it. Comments much appreciated.