I don't want to talk
"Fuck, fuck, fuck
Super fucking awesome
Just what I fucking need right now
Fuck, fuck, fuck"
"Not that I don't enjoy listening to your extensive vocabulary but would you please tell me what's wrong?" My cousin Rose had just walked into the Gryffindor girls' bathroom I was currently destroying.
"Actually I don't think I will, you wouldn't understand", I reply curtly.
"Come on Lily, how bad could it be that you can't tell me". She seriously had no idea how royally fucked I was, but I knew that I had to tell someone and it might as well be Rose.
"Fine" I reply and I throw the object I was holding in my hand directly to her. I didn't take her long to realise that it was a muggle pregnancy test, a positive muggle pregnancy test. I just sit there on the bathroom floor, head between my legs, waiting for her response.
"Fuck"
That sums it all up quite nicely I believe.
I am pregnant, only in my fifth year, barely sixteen and did I mention having a baby. What the hell I am meant to do with a baby?
I can assume that similar things were running through my cousins head as well as we were sitting there, staring at my positive pregnancy test.
"Ok, these muggle tests aren't always correct so don't start freaking out quite yet. Why don't we go down to Madam Pomfrey and see if you are really pregnant?" says Rose after quite some time. Rose is definitely the smart, rational one. My first response was to scream and smash a mirror. But then again, she didn't get herself knocked up.
"Sure, but you can't tell anyone yet, and I mean anyone. If I am really having a baby then I just need some time to figure myself out, ok?" Then slowly I pick myself up off the floor and walk out of the bathroom, quickly grabbing the pregnancy test off the ground.
"I am so sorry."
I start to cry, my life is over. I am scared about what is going to happen next, angry that I let this happen and every other emotion you can think of all at once.
"Now come on, don't cry. This really isn't that bad. You are only young but the school will help you threw every second of this pregnancy" says Madam Pomfrey as she hugs me softly. "You need to tell your family and the father, but I won't pressure you into doing it right now. I will tell the Headmaster tomorrow."
As we are walking out I can see Rose is squirming and fidgeting, dying to ask me something. "You can ask me but I am not going to tell you the father is" I say in an icy tone, before walking off in search of something to scream into. I think my pillow will do nicely. "And I expect you to keep this whole thing to yourself" I yell out to her before she disappears from my sight.
"What does Rose have to keep to herself?"
Shit, my brother Albus is standing right in front of me.
"Nothing that concerns you" I quickly reply and run off before he has the chance to say anything else. I almost at the Gryffindor common room and I can see the fat lady in the distance.
"Why are you in such a hurry all of a sudden?"
Oh yay, Scorpius Malfoy. Why won't people just mind their own business?
"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET HURT"
I scurry past all of the shocked faces; I don't know where that came from but I really don't care right now.
I wake up the next morning and I know that today might just be worse than yesterday. Madame Pomfrey will tell the Headmaster, who will tell my parents, who will ask who the father is. Which is information I am not willing to give out.
Maybe if I stay in bed all day then I wont have to deal with any of it, but I am hungry and soon I find myself already dressed and walking towards the great hall.
"I wasn't intentionally rude yesterday" I hear a voice talking to me.
Great, Malfoy is talking to me again.
"I know that we don't really hate each other anymore and I don't want to ruin that"
Why is he still talking to me? I agree since that last incident before the holidays we officially don't hate each other anymore, but can't he tell that I am not in the mood for mindless drabble?
"Hungry, don't give a fuck," I blurt out. I didn't mean to be that rude but all I can think of right now is sausages and bacon.
I think he said something else but I am so focused on other things that I don't hear anything.
Shit, I find myself pushed into a corner, face to face with Malfoy. He is staring right into my dark brown eyes and his hands are gripped tightly around my shoulders. "Why are you being so difficult? I am trying to be nice and all you can do is swear in my face and walk off" he is starting to yell and I keep thinking of those sausages.
"I mean, seriously what is your problem? I thought we agreed on some kind of truce, that we would forget everything that happened and start again?" he yells even louder. Maybe it's the pregnancy but I am starting to droll at the mouth thinking of a plate stacked with sausages, bacon and drizzled with tomato sauce.
"Sorry, lets talk later, when I said I was hungry, I really meant that I was hungry." I don't really want to talk to him later but that is all I can think off that will keep him happy.
He nods and lets me go. I run so fast to the Gryffindor table, I don't even notice my parents standing at the doorway, angrier than when James told them he wanted to leave Hogwarts before his final year.