Pink Tears
Author: NuDo
EnTry : 0
...Prologue -
Sakura cries, and with every shaken breath her heart tears apart, leaving her breathless. And the more her thoughts darken the louder her cries become. Sometimes, when her throat feels dry, she stops crying and her chokes go through paper-thin wall, and Mebuki cries with her. She cries because her daughter, no longer that innocent child, struggles through her heartbreak. Sakura doesn't know, but her mother sees how she tries to fight her tears. And when she gives up, she hears her burrowing her face down deep in her pillows.
Every night, starring up at the dark ceiling, Mebuki listens to her daughter. And she wonders: when did Sakura became so distant?
She thought she knew her child. She remembers when Sakura was younger she would go to her and whisper her every little feeling. Her every thought was her mother's too.
And then she remembers at Sakura's 13th birthday she decided it would be better if she let Sakura feel more responsible. So she gave her a little space .The flat they were living in wasn't big so the mother and the daughter shared the big bedroom. As the gift to Sakura on her birthday, Mebuki placed the paper-wall in the middle of the room. And that's when Sakura started having her own little space, where her mother wasn't allowed to be in anymore.
Mebuki thinks that's when secrets started. She lost her contact with her daughter.
She remembers when Sakura became different. It was a nice summer evening. The first time Sakura didn't listen to her talking about her day. They were out at some cafe, drinking coffee and tea,when suddenly Sakura zoned out at something behind Mebuki's back. Minutes later Mebuki noticed her daughter's dreamy eyes and being curious, turned around . She saw a young man with dark locks and a pale face, clad in a dark blue shirt and black jeans. Mebuki looked at Sakura and smiled, remembering her daughter and her girl-friends talking about an ''attractively pale'' man.
The summer went, and the autumn leaves covered the streets in yellow ,red and green dots . And Sakura still had that dreamy look in her eyes. She had something different in her now. Mebuki wouldn't say it was light - Sakura always was a cheery one - No, it was something different.
The autumn passed , the winter melted into the spring and Sakura bloomed.
Her pale cheeks had a tint of pink and her movements gained grace.
Mebuki waited for her to come to her to tell her about her feelings, but instead Sakura locked herself in with her girl-friends. The ashes and the smoke lingered for days. Mebuki stayed quiet. She was angry at herself for being strict and for having bad thoughts about her daughter's behaviour .
It was the last day of the spring that her daughter started to change into something different. That day she came back running, tears in her eyes and hand on her mouth. Mebuki didn't even had a time to say anything, as Sakura slammed her bedroom door and stayed there for the rest of the day. She didn't come out of her room and she didn't come out of her shell.
Mebuki hears noise coming from the room next to her own bedroom. Then she hears Sakura going into the direction of the kitchen and after some time she hears the sound of water boiling.
She signs to herself stands up and makes her way out of her bedroom and towards the kitchen. Walking in she sees Sakura sitting in a plastic chair, drinking her tea.
Mebuki fills her own cup of tea and sits down across from her daughter, slowly drinking the hot drink.
Seconds turn into minutes and Mebuki feels like it might turn into hours when Sakura puts her cup down.
''Mum'' Her voice is low and choppy.
''Yes dear?'' Mebuki watches the girl 's slim arms and wrists. Sakura didn't eat much these days.
''I feel like empty and full at the same time'' Sakura lowered her head, like she was trying to hide herself.
''You can tell me anything you want to share Sakura'' Mebuki remembers saying that to her four-year-old girl years ago.
Sakura is silent for some time. She opens her mouth several times as if to say something but she quickly closes it.
Mebuki waits. She doesn't mind that.
''How would you know if you are in love?'' Her voice is distant, her gaze faraway.
''I don't know the correct answer for that question. I think it's different for everybody. You just guess when you are, I guess... '' The older women's voice is calm, collected and at the same time, wondering.
''Does it hurt…?'' She runs her index finger around the tip of her white cup, while her left hand holds the handle. ''…When they are happy without you by their side?''
Mebuki watches her daughter's thin fingers ….
''I think any kind of feeling hurts at some point or another.'' She looks up at the light bulb hanging on the ceiling '' I, myself, have never felt that kind of love.''
Sakura stops playing with the cup and puts her hands on her lap.
Mebuki looks down at the table and sees the way her daughter plays with her fingers.
''Sakura'' She waits and when the girl looks up, says: ''Tell me''.
. . .
And maybe it will be hard for her to regain her daughter's somehow lost trust, but that pain and need for someone in those green eyes might be the beginning. And after time the wall between the mother and the daughter might vanish.
original:12/4/14
edited:17/4/15 with the help of bookaholic346.Thank you dear ^^
Reedited :11/05/15 -I after I re-posted this story ,I still though about it ,and written several chapters afterwords ,so I hope I won't ruin this one by posting the first chapter on Sunday
Hello ! Thank you reader for reading this (of course if you are reading this ),I hope it didn't waste much of your time ,and even if it did ,well ,you knew what the risk was when you clicked on This :D,So pretty please REViEW ,and I would send you preview of the next update (I know you know I know that I am pretty desperate here :P)
Take care and good luck to you ! Bye ! ^^