Kakuzu sighed and sat back in his chair, staring up at the sky. For once the air was free of clouds, allowing the warm rays of sunlight to fall upon the British countryside and warm the earth.
He reached up, tugging on his shirt collar. Curse the fashions of London, he was practically being choked by this latest design! And he was beginning to think that his tailor (the rat-faced little fiend) was lying about it just to see the banker suffer. If the man wasn't so cheap, Kakuzu probably would have foreclosed on the man's shop long ago.
His attention returned to the present when he caught sight of his butler approaching the table he was currently seated at. He carried both a tray and a dignified air with him as he slowed down, then stopped before the banker. "A Miss Hidan Neco is here to see you," he informed, allowing the banker to pluck the business card off the tray before turning and walking off, presumably to fetch the visitor.
Kakuzu studied the card, a thoughtful look on his face. "Hmm, Miss Hida-MISS?!"
A moment later the butler reappeared with the guest. Hidan was wearing a soft blue dress, silver hair slicked back and partially obscured by a matching hat. A Jashinist pendant hung around Hidan's neck, and gloves covered the zealot's oh-so-pale hands. The butler pulled out the chair opposite Kakuzu, and allowed Hidan to sit before pushing it back in. His task completed, the man informed Kakuzu that he was going to fetch the tea, and departed thereafter.
For a few moments, all Kakuzu could do was stare. "Hidan?" he finally choked out.
"Yes?" the zealot asked, smoothing out the wrinkles in the blue dress.
"Why are you wearing those clothes?"
"Well for one thing, society tends to frown upon nudists. For another, I think it looks quite nice on me."
Ok, now there were two problems; not only was Hidan in a dress, but he wasn't swearing.
The butler returned at that moment, carrying a tray laden with teacake, bread and butter, and the tea itself, of course. He poured the hot tea for the two off them, then moved on to cutting twin slices of teacake. His presence no longer required, the man bowed and left.
"This looks delicious," the Jashinist stated, daintily cutting into his cake and taking a small bite.
"Hidan, why aren't you swearing?" Kakuzu asked, holding his cup of tea in an unsteady hand.
"Because, my dear Kakuzu, only the lower classes would degrade themselves to using obscenities in everyday conversation." The masochist frowned across the table at his companion. "Are you quite all right?"
"Yes," the banker replied. "But you aren't."
"Anyway, I just came here to thank you for your oh-so-generous donation!"
The word donation resonated through the banker like nails on a chalkboard. "What donation?" he asked rubbing his head.
"Your contribution to the poorhouse!" Hidan exclaimed. "To think, a man such as yourself giving away your entire fortune to the underprivileged citizens of London like that!"
"WHAT?!"
"Oh, I can assure you, this was definitely the greatest act of generosity I have ever witnessed!" The Jashinist continued going on and on about the banker's kindness, but Kakuzu didn't hear a word of it. he was fairly certain that he was having a heart attack as Hidan spoke-
Kakuzu shot up in bed, eyes wide. He panted, looking around the room as rapidly as his eyes would allow. He was in his bedroom at Akatsuki headquarters, sleeping in his own bed, with Hidan asleep beside him. "Ok, that's it. Tomorrow, I am making Pein block Masterpiece Theater."
"Dumbass…" It appeared his nightmare had woken Hidan up.
The masochist yawned and pushed himself up into a sitting position, rubbing his eyes with a loose fist as he stared at the banker. "What the hell's wrong, Kuzu?" he mumbled sleepily.
"Bad dream."
"And?" Hidan grumbled.
Kakuzu stared at his partner, letting his eyes travel over his face, down his toned body, and finally back up to his eyes. "You look hot in a dress."
SLAP
"Go to sleep, bastard," Hidan growled as he flopped down on the bed, turning his back on the miser that was now clutching a red cheek in his hand.