fandom: Petshop of Horrors. All hail Matsuri Akino!
warnings: some language, pr0n, all that stuff. Some innuendo of the BL kind. D/Leon.
notes: for the LJ community tempsmort's 'With Friends Like These...' challenge, written in about two hours. Pteek made me do it XD My first PSoH fic, so the sucking factor and OOCness ish gureito! Please feel free to rip off my head. Some problems with punctuation. My apologies.
It was Detective Orcot's first day off in weeks - time to kick back and relax with a beer and something raunchy from the nearby video rental store. No thoughts about cases, no Count D, no weird pets. Just the good old right hand and the opportunity to forget about everything for twenty four hours.
Leon relaxed back into his worn couch, tossed his legs up on his coffee table and popped the tap of his third beer that afternoon. His TV was on, some blonde chick with big bouncy breasts was currently in the process of divesting her hunky partner of his shirt. And helloo round bum in a too-short skirt. Her face was pretty, lips full and eyes a naughtily twinkling green. Leon smirked at his TV, took a swig of his beer and put the can down. He leaned back and opened the top button of his jeans.
The doorbell rang. Leon cursed, didn't budge. The girl lowered her lips teasingly towards the tip of the hunk's cock, her breasts halfway out of her bra. Leon leaned closer to the TV screen, popped open the second button of his jeans that were getting tighter by the minute. The doorbell rang again, this time twice in rapid succession. Leon clenched his teeth, ignored it.
Then the scratching started. The girl moaned. Leon very calmly reached for the remote of his VCR and pressed pause. "If it's one of those fucking Jenovah's witnesses..." He muttered, got up and stomped to the door. Without bothering to look through the peephole, Leon threw open the door. "What the FUCK do you want!" Left his lips before who it was registered in his very frustrated brain (most of which had travelled south for the winter).
An amused D stood behind his door, the fingers of his left hand pressed to his rouged lips. "Oh my, Detective. Such crude language," the Count tsk-tsked. Leon stared at him, then at Q-chan who was just returning to his perch on the Count's shoulder. His eyes zeroed in on D's cheongsam, or rather the cheery pink apron the count had over it. D smiled, lifted his hand and showed Leon the bucket he was holding. "What...?" Leon choked. D smiled.
Leon cleared his throat "Count! What the hell!" D smiled, pushed past his darling Detective and entered the apartment. "I was in the neighbourhood visiting a customer, when it suddenly occured to me that my, isn't Chris visiting you on Saturday? And I thought that with the amazingly pig-like way of living you have, it might be a good idea to come here and prevent the dear boy from acquiring any further traumas. Wouldn't you agree?"
The Count glanced over his shoulder at Leon, who had closed the door and was standing next to it staring dumbly. The Count hid a smile at the state of Leon's... Hmm... Undress. With two buttons undone, hair ruffled, cheeks pink and shirt discarded somewhere, the Detective made quite a striking picture.
Leon suddenly remembered the VCR. "FUCK!" he exclaimed, seconds before the Count stepped into what served as Leon's living room. The Detective rushed past him, blocking D's view of the television set. The Count cocked an eyebrow at Leon.
"Yeah. Yeah, okay! Just... Just... I don't need anyone to pick up after me!" Leon fumbled, moving to lean in the same direction the Count did, obstructing D from seeing over his shoulder. The Count tipped his head a bit to the side then leaned into Leon's personal space effectively spooking the Detective in the process. "My, my, Detective. Have you got something to hide? What a..." D placed the tip of one manicured nail on Leon's naked chest, drew a circle, looked up at Leon from behind lowered lashes, breathed out over the Detective's throat, "naughty boy you are, my dear Detective."
Leon twitched, pulled back from the effeminate man's touch and stumbled backwards. He tripped over his couch, and went sprawling over the back. D appeared between his spread knees and looked down at him with a look of half worry, half mischief. Leon scowled at him and whilst keeping the Count's gaze locked in his, reached for the remote for the VCR. Unfortunately that was the moment when D chose to lift his head and glance at the television screen.
Leon clenched his eyes shut and waited for the explosion. Nothing happened. The blond opened one eye, expecting to see scandalized mismatched eyes, but the Count just looked down at him with a twinkle in his eye. "Detective. I thought you preferred brunettes, or rather..." D leaned closer, placed one hand on Leon's knee which jerked, "tiny Asian girls with black hair and slender bodies." The Count's fingers pushed through a small rip in Leon's jeans, forcing it bigger and tickling the side of the man's knee.
"Wha...?" Leon's heart gave a painful, heavy thump. His back jerked upwards at the sensation of skin on skin in such a sensitive place. D pulled his lower lip between his teeth and gazed down at the Detective. He started leaning down little by little, his fingers pulling out of Leon's jeans and travelling down to press at the man's muscular thigh, moving closer and closer to his crotch and the two open buttons.
Leon swallowed heavily, his eyes closing halfway, held captive by the Count's mismatched eyes.
Q-chan gave a loud squeak. The Count smiled in a very disturbing way and pulled his hands back, clapping them together with a perky air about him. "Well then, Detective. Shall I help you clean up this dump you call an apartment?" Leon stared at him, his heart thumping out of control, erection throbbing in synch with it. "Guh?"
D's smile deepened, the corners of his eyes crinkling happily. "Very well then! I shall take the bathroom, you might as well start with that disgusting piece of pornography. It wouldn't do for Chris to see it, now would it?"
Leon nodded, picked himself up and flicked the TV off. D moved past him towards the bathroom, the tips of his nails brushing over the bulge in the Detective's pants, index finger tapping the peak of it. Leon's breath caught, his knees going weak. D glanced at him sideways, a smirk on his lips.
"And it just might be that we will get rid of this later," D whispered, words tickling the side of Leon's neck, "my Dear Detective."
Leon had no objections.