I dreamed there was an angel
"So dark…" began Moritz as he raised the small gun higher.
He cocked the weapon feeling his heart leap in his chest.
"…So dark," he said raising the gun higher still, his voice in a shaky whisper as his eyes filled with tears.
"So dark."
In a quick motion, he closed his eyes, shoved the gun in his mouth, took a quick, final, breath, and pulled the trigger.
He opened his eyes again.
Nothing had happened?
He dropped the gun in shock and fell forward to the cold, dew covered, grass of the wooded area he had found himself in. He was unable to catch his breath as he sobbed alone in the darkness.
"Those you've known… and lost… still walk behind you…" came a ghostly voice on the wind.
He lurched up, his eyes meeting with those of Ilse who stood peacefully by gazing to him.
"Ilse?!" he questioned under his breath. "But you left… I- I watched you leave."
She frowned, turning her head to the side observing him.
"This- this isn't what it appears to be!" he said attempting to wipe the tears off his face before realizing, strangely, there were none.
He looked back up to her as she stood silently by.
Why was she only staring? Doesn't she have some comment to make? Like what a freak she must think he is. Watching his awkward, gawky, body flailing around on the ground.
"I- I didn't… when did you come back?" he asked.
She did not reply as her gaze shifted downward.
"Well - well SAY SOMETHING!" he cried out.
She sighed, "I knew what you were planning to do all along tonight, Moritz."
He shook his head in confusion. He hadn't heard or seen of her in months! How could she have possibly known?
She began to walk closer to him, "And… I didn't want you to go alone."
He quickly tried to get up but he only slid further back on the ground. She continued to gracefully approach him.
"NO!" he proclaimed, "Ilse, don't! Don't come any closer, just stay away!"
He continued to back up when his hand touched something. It wasn't the small metal weapon he had been searching for. He turned back to see a dark form lying on the ground. When he finally realized what it had to be, he couldn't believe his eyes.
He jumped to his feet, starring down at the horrific sight with wide eyes.
She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He only gaped downward.
"I- " he gulped, "I didn't feel a thing."
She kept her eyes on him. "Did you want to?"
"I don't know."
Moritz finally glanced over his shoulder, looking to the young woman with realization.
She smiled, and he was suddenly reminded of her beauty. For some reason, he hadn't noticed it a few minutes before. But then again, just a little while ago, the world seemed too loud for him to notice much of anything.
"All alone, they linger 'till they find you." she said taking his hands. He didn't stop her.
"You were all alone, Moritz. And it wasn't your fault. None of that was your fault."
He turned to look back but she stopped him by gently caressing his cheek.
He looked back to her. She was touching him.
A woman was touching him and he wasn't scared or trying to run away.
"I can feel you," he whispered.
She smirked, "Oh Moritz. I can feel you too." Ilse searched his eyes for a long moment, consuming the moment.
"I was there all along. You could never know of my longing… to help you."
He raised his hand to cover hers as her slender finger brushed along his face.
"I wanted to come with you tonight, Ilse. But I couldn't."
She nodded, "I know."
He smiled in relief. He hadn't felt the way he did in a painfully long time.
He had forgotten all together what it felt like not to be worried or confused.
A feeling of pure elation was growing inside of him like a spring flower rising from the ashes.
And it was over. It was all finally over.
The reality of the moment struck him and Isle noticed the sort of sorrow still lingering in his eyes.
"Now you'll walk on their arm through the distant night. And you won't let them stray from your heart. Through the wind, through the dark, through the winter light. You can listen as they read all your dreams to the stars." Ilse said looking up to the night sky.
He glanced up, expecting the same darkness, but was taken back by the dazzling sight. The sky was so full of specks of diamonds.
It was almost as if it were morning breaking over the horizon.
He questioned what she had just said. He was a disappointment to his family, and a nuisance to his friends. Did he even have any dreams to read to the stars?
"But nobody will think about me, or remember me…" he said sadly to the sky.
She observed the twinkling abyss with a look of hope radiating from her eyes.
"You know Moritz, I thought the same. Until I heard what you said…"
He looked back to her. He was jolted back to a few days ago.
"My dreams… that angel. You were that angel."
She smirked to him and closed the final gap of space between their two bodies.
He quietly gasped as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Touch me, Moritz."
He carefully grasped her waist feeling the warmth of her soft skin under the thin fabric. Her bare larges pressed against his groin, and he felt things that even Melchior's poetic phrases could never do justice to explain.
Her eyes closed in bliss as his hands slowly roamed higher.
"Maybe," he began in a high voice before clearing his voice, "Maybe, they will cry for me…"
She nodded, "But…?"
He ventured a hand out to grasp her chin and raise her view to his.
"I wish against God that they wouldn't."
"And why is that?"
He leaned forward, passionately joining their lips together answering her question.