Kakuzu never understood why his partner was so religious.
The banker himself held few to no religious beliefs; he'd lived a long, murderous life, and seen far too many atrocities for one person. In his mind, if there was a god, he or she had long since abandoned the mortals that now walked the earth.
The way Kakuzu looked at it, it really didn't matter if there were any higher powers or not. He was a cold-blooded killer, who had committed more treacherous acts in his lifetime than whole villages combined. No matter who he prayed to, he'd still end up in hell when his time came, so why bother?
Hidan was a devout zealot; always praying and sacrificing to his god, Jashin. And for what? All he'd received from the bargain was immortality; a gift he loathed and wanted to dispose of, judging from how much he bitched over his fate. Yet the masochist never ceased his rituals; his devotion never once wavered. Why?
These thoughts continued to plague Kakuzu's mind, day in and day out for weeks upon months. Finally, one rainy afternoon, while the duo were lodged in the Akatsuki base, he couldn't take it, and decided to voice his concern.
It happened while they were in their room. Kakuzu was at his desk, filing the paperwork from their latest mission, and Hidan was napping on their shared bed. Raindrops softly pounded against the small window of their room, the only sounds besides Hidan's soft breathing and Kakuzu's pen scratching against the paper beneath his fingertips.
The miser set his pen down and turned to look at his partner. Later he'd probably regret disturbing this peace, but he had to ask. "Hidan?"
The zealot's eyes slowly blinked open. He sat up to look at Kakuzu, rubbing his eyes with a loose fist. "The hell is it?" he mumbled, tongue having trouble moving due to sleepiness.
Pushing aside thoughts of how cute the silver-haired man looked, Kakuzu went on. "Why do you insist on worshiping Jashin?"
Hidan's eyes widened. He was fully awake now.
Normally, if the zealot so much as mentioned Jashin in passing, Kakuzu was quick to either smack him or tell him to shut up. The miser actually voicing a question about his religion was more than strange; it was unheard of. "Because he's my god," Hidan replied, as if that should have been the most obvious thing in the world by now.
"But why blindly follow him?" Kakuzu pressed. "The only proof you have of his existence is your immortality, which you love to bitch about whenever you get the chance. How do you know this Jashin of yours isn't just fooling around with you from heaven or hell or wherever and laughing his ass off at your actions on earth?"
"Doesn't matter, asshole," Hidan growled without a moment's hesitation. "He made me fucking immortal, and I owe him for that. Among other reasons."
"Again, I remind you of how often you complain of not being able to die."
At this, Hidan smiled and chuckled. "So? I bitch about everything." He slowly rose from their bed, and began walking towards his partner, who by now had turned his chair around to face the Jashinist. "Besides," he purred, slinking close to the banker and wrapping his arms around Kakuzu's neck, "if I were mortal, I'd have died the first Jashin-damned timed you tried to snap my neck. And then we'd never have hooked up, and both of us would be all alone, dumbass."
Kakuzu allowed the masochist to slip onto his lap, silently thinking about his partner's words. "So, being cursed to live forever is worth it then?"
"As long as you don't get killed, bastard," Hidan affirmed.
"But what happens then? If these higher powers exist, you and I have each bought a one-way ticket to hell."
Hidan let out a loud laugh at this. "Aren't you the one that said hell fucking ran on money? And look around you." Hidan took a moment to motion to their surroundings, and Kakuzu caught the reference made to the outside world as well. "If there's a hell, we're already here. May as well enjoy ourselves, right?"
Kakuzu allowed the words to sink in, before slipping his arms around the masochist's waistline. "You have some strange logic in that twisted little head of yours," he murmured softly.
Hidan smacked Kakuzu upside the head before kissing him softly. "Asshole. Do you at least get it now? Why I'm like this?"
"Somewhat."
"So, you think you'll convert to the ways of Jashin?"
"Not a chance in hell."
Hidan frowned and let out an annoyed sigh. "You're the most stubborn heathen bastard I've ever known, ya know that?"
"That's why you love me," Kakuzu declared as he pulled his partner down into a soft kiss.
Later on, Kakuzu would remember these words when his partner insisted on stopping in the middle of a mission to pray, or delay an assignment in order to sacrifice people that should have been quickly murdered. These actions still bugged the hell out of the miser, and more often than not led to violent arguments between the two of them; but, at least now he possessed a better understanding of the 'why' behind these rituals.
Yet there was one thing Hidan had said that Kakuzu could never agree with. The banker and zealot were indeed cruel men, deserving of the worst punishment the underworld could offer; but they were most certainly not in hell.
Here, he could be with Hidan. He could touch, hold, kiss, and love the little masochist, and best of all, have the smaller man return his feelings. To walk beside him, whisper sweet nothings to him, and most of all, just be there with him.
This world of theirs was blissful; but also full of violence and brutality. Too vile to be heaven; too blessed to be hell.
And after that, Kakuzu concluded that he need not worry about the afterlife. He was content to enjoy the life he had now, on earth, with his lover. And if these supposed gods were willing to damn him for it, then so be it.