.:Author's Note: Having just finished up my last fic, I couldn't help but notice that all of my Ninja Turtles fanfictions are exceptionally dark. While I do love writing those heart wrenching tales, I thought I might step away from that for a moment and write something a bit lighter. In light of this, if you are here because you expect the same sort of atmosphere as portrayed in "His Father's War" or "A Machine for Mutants," I'm afraid you might be a tad disappointed. That's not to say I won't be writing just as eloquently as always, but this fic is intended to be a bit more on the fluffy and humorous side. That being said, there are some warnings that I must give right here off the bat; the time frame for this fic is roughly "I don't know and I don't really care," there will be T-Cest, smut, very slight genderbending, and –spoilers— eventual mpreg. Let's face it, it's essentially a crack fic, so please treat it as such. If none of these things are your cup of tea, you may wish to find something else to read. For everyone else, please enjoy!:.

March hadn't been a good month for the Turtles in recent years. They could still remember a time when it had been just another month to them, same as all the rest. Nothing to get all worked up over. But now? Now they were a bit older, their bodies grown a bit more, and it seemed that they were approaching the age when nature decided it was time to bite them in the ass.

The mood in the Lair had begun to grow tense in the past few weeks as what was now becoming a yearly ritual had come around once again. At first, it had only been Leonardo that was affected. He had been the oldest of the brothers, after all. When it had first started, poor Master Splinter hadn't been sure what to make of his son's sudden restlessness, his unusually short temper, his heightened aggression towards his brothers. In fact, it had taken Donatello nearly a month to finally deduce what was happening. It had been three years since then, since the Turtles and their Master discovered their new least-favorite term; Mating Season.

It was the second time around for Raphael, but he was determined to push it out of his mind this year. The punching bag in the living room had become his new best friend, though one wouldn't guess that from the savage way he lashed out at it. It was better than lashing out at his brothers, or even their Sensei. Hormones be damned, he wouldn't be making that mistake twice. He could still remember the look of horror on Master Splinter's face at the string of expletives that had spewed forth out of his mouth before he'd had a chance to stop himself. He'd never forget the beating he received afterward. He had certain spots on his body that still ached from it.

It wasn't something the brothers liked to talk about. It was still too awkward a subject, though Splinter had assured them that it was perfectly natural. Of course, he didn't know much about reptilian reproduction, so he wasn't willing to say much more than that on the subject. That task, unfortunately, fell to poor Donatello. The one thing that they had to be thankful for was the fact that all of them were males. That at least cut down on the unequivocally awkward conversation that had to be given. After all, why discuss eggs when none of them could have any?

After that, it had just become one of those unspoken understandings among the group of them. Rule number one about mating season: you don't talk about mating season. Perhaps that was part of the reason why their human friends were rather oblivious as to what was happening. That might explain why Casey Jones hadn't hesitated to come up behind Raphael, though the turtle was clearly engrossed in his feud with punching bag, and slap a hand down on his shoulder. His next punch nearly took the human teen's head off.

"H-hey!" Casey shouted, just barely ducking under the blow. "Watch it, man! It's just me!"

That almost wasn't a good enough reason to stop, but Raphael managed to reign himself in just enough to keep from lunging at the punk. His fists shook lightly at his sides, and he glared daggers at the young man.

"Don't do that!" he growled out through tightly gritted teeth. Casey raised his hands as if in surrender, taking a quick step away from the short-fused turtle.

"A-alright! Jeez, dude… I was just gonna ask if ya wanted ta watch a movie with me an' Red. No need ta bite my head off."

Raphael's eyes darted past Casey to glance at the rather confused looking redhead behind him. April glanced tentatively between the two, unsure if a fight could still break out at any moment.

"A movie..?" Raphael asked hesitantly, eyeing the rented dvd in April's hand. Okay, yeah. A movie. That might be good, actually. It might just serve to keep his mind off of other things.

"I-I'm sorry, Casey… Sure, a movie sounds great."

Casey and April led the way out into the living room, though Raphael trailed a bit behind. He couldn't help but notice that the couch wasn't exactly vacant. Leonardo sat at the far end, his nose buried deep in a historical novel – likely The Three Musketeers for the millionth time – his leg crossed conspicuously and rather tightly over the other. It was clear he was trying his best to ignore the goings on around him, just as Raph had been trying to do earlier. They each had their own methods of distracting themselves at this time of year; Raphael took it out on his punching bag, Leonardo hid behind a book, Donatello locked himself away in his lab, and Michelangelo… Come to think of it, he wasn't sure if Mikey had been affected by the urges of mating season just yet. He was the youngest of them, after all. He almost shuddered to think what it would be like when it finally hit his baby brother… Mikey during mating season just wasn't something he could conceivably picture in his mind. He just seemed too immature and innocent for all that.

April and Casey thankfully took the middle of the couch, meaning Raph wouldn't have to sit next to his brother. Their emotions always seemed to be so much more uncontrollable when they were in close proximity to another mutant turtle. It was the one time Raphael would find himself grateful that Slash was off with the Mutanimals and not around them.

He took a seat next to Casey at the opposite end of the couch from Leo, folding his arms across his chest as he awaited the start of whatever movie the two humans had rented. It occurred to him that he'd never asked what it was, nor did he really care at the moment. A distraction was a distraction, and he'd take all he could get right now.

"Sweet! New movie! Can I watch with you guys?"

Raphael's whole body seemed to go tense in an instant as the perfectly reasonable request hit his ears. He watched as Michelangelo rounded the edge of the couch, glaring with distain at the happy-go-lucky smile plastered over his baby brother's face. He gave the other turtle a menacing, almost territorial growl.

"Find somewhere else to sit, moron. The couch is full." He grumbled moodily, but even Raphael's clear bad attitude wasn't enough to deter the younger turtle. Mikey took a quick glance down the length of the couch, found that there were indeed no spots free, but didn't seem discouraged even by that. A moment later, the younger turtle plopped himself down right onto Raphael's lap.

Raph felt his eye twitch, the rage boiling over in him in an instant. How dare this annoying little prick do such a thing! Didn't he know what time of year it was?! He was all set to shove his baby brother off his lap and tear him a new one when a sudden comment from the person next to him made him stop.

"Hey, I didn't know you guys had tails!" Casey said with clear amusement in his voice. Raphael froze, his eyes wide, his hands just barely touching against the back of his brother's shell. Just how in the hell did Casey know about their tails? No, he'd just clearly admitted that he hadn't known, so why would he bring it up at all? Slowly, he looked down. Sticking out from under Michelangelo's shell, lying flat against Raph's bare thigh, was a short, stubby green tail.

Raph drew in a sharp gasp, averting his eyes and pulling his hands back from where they rested against the other turtle's shell. There was a very good reason why Casey, or likely anyone else outside the brothers and their Sensei, wouldn't know that the four of them had tails. They normally kept the appendages tucked tightly against themselves between their legs, covering their most private area. It was the only way they could be discreet without having to wear clothes. Raphael swallowed hard, now painfully aware of the warmth resting against his thigh where Michelangelo sat.

By all rights, the younger turtle should have immediately tucked his tail away the instant Casey had mentioned it, excusing himself as one might do if they'd accidentally left their fly unzipped. Michelangelo did no such thing. He seemed oblivious to the comment, his eyes fixed on the movie playing in the screen in front of him. However, it was clear – at least to Raphael – that he wasn't unaware of what had happened. In fact, that little tail of his flicked slowly back and forth across the older turtle's thigh, the tip tracing a deliberate arc across the soft green skin there.

Raphael felt his heart begin to pound in his chest, his shell staring to feel quite a bit tighter on him around his lower regions. Was… Was Mikey doing this on purpose?! He couldn't quite be sure, but he decided he simply had to know. He cast a quick sideways glance at the others to make sure they were focused on the movie and not on them. Once he was sure he wasn't actively being watched, he casually brought his hand up to rest on his leg in such a way that it covered his brother's tail. If Mikey had freaked out, he could have easily claimed that it was an accident. However, the younger turtle didn't budge, didn't say a word. Raphael made another attempt to swallow the lump in his throat before he slowly curled his fingers around the tail, softly stroking at the underside with his thumb.

He felt Michelangelo shudder in his lap, his legs tensing against where they straddled the older turtle's knees. Raphael quickly shot a glance over at the others, dreading that they might have taken notice of such a thing. No one seemed to have noticed. Even Leonardo was still too invested in his book to give them so much as a glance. He let himself release a sigh of relief before turning his attention back to the rather interesting situation at hand. Mikey was now looking back at him from over his shoulder, a pleading expression in those big blue eyes of his, the tip of his tail curling lightly around one of the fingers that held it.

Raphael couldn't help but fidget lightly where he sat, his eyes staring widely at his little brother. Well, he knew it was 'mating' season, but he honestly hadn't expected anything like this. They were all males, after all. They were supposed to be aggressive towards each other, they were supposed to be territorial. They weren't supposed to…

Raphael bit at his bottom lip, the temptation becoming too much for him to bear. He gestured lightly in the direction of Mikey's bedroom with a small nod of his head. Michelangelo didn't give any solid indication of an affirmative, but he did finally hop off of his brother's lap.

"Dude, this movie's so boooring! I'm out, bruh!" he whined as he stretched his arms above his head and let out a yawn. He then casually left the living room, making his way towards his bedroom. He only looked back once, casting a glance over at Raphael as if to say 'dude, are you coming or what?' Raphael almost immediately jumped up to his feet, cringing lightly as he feared he may have looked too eager to leave all of a sudden. He looked back at the others, giving them a weak smile.

"Y-yeah, it ain't really my thing either. I'll catch you guys later." He said, giving the others a small wave of his hand before heading off towards his own bedroom. He came to a stop in front of his door, taking a quick moment to make sure the others had gone back to watching their movie. Then, he quietly made his way over to the next door over, slipping stealthily into Michelangelo's room.

Raphael had barely allowed himself time to lock the door behind him when he pounced. Michelangelo let out a startled yelp when he suddenly felt his shell shoved back into the mattress of his bed, the older turtle on top of him in an instant. His freckled cheeks flushed a deep red as he spread his legs open eagerly, letting his brother position himself between them, his eyes staring up with the same intense pleading they held before. Raphael felt a shudder of desire course through his body as he stared down at the form lying beneath him, that look in those bright blue eyes melting what little scrap of restraint he had left. And to think he'd been dreading the day Mikey would succumb to these whims of nature… In this moment of heightened passion, he found himself wishing it had happened ages ago.

Raphael's hand soon found that tail once more, and his thumb traced up the sensitive underside until he came to the base where it connected with its owner's body. There he found the soft slit that would normally have been covered by that tail, now earnestly presented to him. He couldn't stop himself from pressing his thumb into that warm slit, immediately pulling a soft moan from Mikey. The younger turtle wrapped his arms around the other's shoulders, bucking his hips lightly against Raphael's hand, eager for more. He gave a small whine when he felt that hand slip away, but it wasn't long before he felt something bigger press into him in its place. A sharp cry of pleasure escaped from the younger turtle before he felt a hand clamp over his mouth.

"M-Mikey, shhh!" Raphael whispered harshly, though he'd only barely managed to contain a loud moan from himself. "I-if we're gonna do this, you gotta keep quiet..!"

Mikey nodded his head vigorously at that, but continued to stare up at him with desperation in his eyes, his body writhing needily beneath the older turtle. Raphael was in no mood to tease his little brother any longer – or himself, for that matter. He thrust himself in deep, feeling another pleasured cry muffle itself against his palm. He'd soon had to bury his face into Mikey's shoulder to keep his own outcries from alerting the others outside to what the two of them were doing. He couldn't bear to think of the consequences should they be discovered together like this.

Raphael continued to roll his hips in a steady rhythm, his breaths coming out hot and ragged against Michelangelo's neck. The younger turtle's euphoric mewling never ceased, despite the warnings to keep quiet. Raph could feel the arms around his shoulders pulling him close against the other's heaving plastron, his brother's legs trembling in ecstasy against his sides. It was such a warm embrace the likes of which he'd never imagined he could experience.

Michelangelo felt the hand finally leave his mouth, but before he could utter a loud cry that would have surely carried outside the room, he felt a pair of rough lips press against his own to silence him. Raphael's arms wrapped around the younger turtle's waist, pulling his hips up to a better angle. He heard Mikey moan against his mouth as his thrusts came stronger and faster, his whole body beginning to tremble in his arms. This time Raphael let out a pleasured moan against the other's lips, the euphoric sensation within him building to its peak.

Raph climaxed in the next instant, his lips pressing hard against Mikey's to keep himself from crying out loudly, his arms constricting to pull his brother's body as close as he could. Michelangelo's arms clasped tightly around his neck as he drew in a sharp gasp, his thighs clamping down on either side of Raphael's waist. A moment later, the two of them seemed to just collapse into one big, exhausted heap.

"D-dude…" Mikey eventually managed to breathe out between labored breaths, a satisfied smile spreading across his lips. "That… Was freakin' awesome! We so gotta do that again!"

Raphael managed to let out a small chuckle from where he lay panting against his brother's chest. Screw his punching bag, he just found a way better way to release his pent up passions. Mating season might have just turned into the best time of the year.