Sports Centre: Animation Edition #8!
Disclaimer: We do not own the following animes, cartoons, Seinfeld, and any other brand name that will be mentioned or used in this fanfic.
(S.C. theme plays with a new opening intro.)
Show Announcer: This is Sports Centre: Animation Edition!
Sonny: Tonight, on Sports Centre: A.E.!...The parade is on at San Diablo, as the San Diablo Renegades have won the 2008 ACBA Finals yesterday!
Kevin: Also on S.C: A.E., anti-4kids protestors still angry on the anime treatment by the evil company itself!
Sonny: And more to come, because the sports news starts NOW!
(Theme song ends, and transitional effects reveal the two people sitting behind a glass office desk in front of the camera.)
Sonny: Hello, sports fans and welcome to another new episode of Sports Centre! First up on the top stories, the giant parade ever seen in San Diablo!
(Footage shows some scenes of the parade.)
Sonny: After the big overtime win in the ACBA Finals, 19,000 people have gathered on the downtown streets to cheer and dance when they saw the winning team on the parade float! The streamers and confetti came pouring down as Wile E. Coyote, Bugs Bunny, and other basketball players waved to thousands of fans cheering at them. Good luck to the team for the next season!
(Cut to the two anchormen.)
Sonny: We now go to Kevin.
Kevin: Latest news on the protests made by anti-4kids people, the rash of protests have not been healed as several more were held at the cities of Toronto, New York, Ottawa, and Miami! The fans of One Piece, Shaman King, and Mew Mew Power are still not satisfied with the way 4kids has dubbed anime over the years.
Sonny: Let's go to Michael for the live sports cast of the current on-going of the Tour De France heading towards its second week. So Michael, how is it going so far?
Michael: Well right now there are only six countries left in the race, France, Germany, Switzerland, Belgium, Austria and England. In the lead is the England's very own Stuart Hue, second is France's Pierre de Fontaine and third is Germany's Peter Holfer. The situation that is with us right now is the mountain climbing event, and as we are following them as the advance to the next round of racers. We'll come to you later, Sonny and Kevin.
Kevin: Alright we will also take a commercial break, so stay tune for more after these messages.
Show Announcer: This episode of Sports Centre was brought by Molson Canadian pilsner, "I'm NOT CANADIAN!" and by new Lay's Curry Thai Shrimp, (in the tune of the jingle) "Lay's, gets your frown on."
Sonny: Welcome back sports fans, let's head on to Jamie our weather guy. Jamie, what is the current weather in Toronto?
Jamie: Well right now it's pretty cloudy in all regions of Toronto and it feels like 33 due to the fact that the humidity is at 88. There are barely any strong winds today since they are going at 7 km/h. Tonight we are going to see some pretty large thunder showers, but you'll wake up to a refreshing partly cloudy day. Back to you guys.
Kevin: The Konoha Blue Maples have signed in two prospective players in the Hidden Village Hockey League! A few hours ago, Left-wing player Rock Lee signed an eight-year, 21,000,000 USD contract with the hockey team and he commented that it was a deal for the youth of this sport...YOSH! Also, Sai had signed in a six-year, 18,000,000 USD deal and he only chose to be on the team because he said most of the team doesn't have any (BLEEP!).
Sonny: The Birdman Competition over at Miami Beach just got underway! Yesterday afternoon, the weather conditions were perfect to start the first day of the event. So far, three people have successfully flown distances about five meters or more on their home-made flying inventions. To several others, they really do fail at flying using their cruddy-made flying gadgets. A reminder: after the show, live coverage of the Birdman Competition—second day!
Kevin: It's time now for the Top Ten of the most ULTIMATE HUMOR in baseball! We begin the Top Ten with the #10, during a Straw Hats baseball practise on a hot, sunny day at the Grand Bat Stadium, Franky freaks out when there wasn't any cola left. Let's play the tape, shall we?
(Clip plays.)
Franky: Where's the last bottle of cola? I thought I purchased one!
Brooke: YOO-HOO-HOO! Don't you see that they're all gone?
Franky: WHAT?! (Begins to freak out)
Chopper: (silently) oh-oh...
Franky: (looks up skyward and screams) COOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
(Scream echoes off from the bullpen and out the stadium. At the stands...)
Nami: What was that?
Zoro: (sipping on the last bottle of cola) I heard there's a mental hospital nearby.
(Clip ends.)
Kevin: Damn, that's freaking hilarious! Sonny, present number nine for us.
Sonny: Okay! Number nine in the Top Ten is the 2005 All-Star Game held in Konoha! During the sixth inning, when it was Uzumaki Naruto's turn, he did a strategy that backfired on him! Do I need to say MORE? PLAY THE TAPE!
(Clip plays.)
Baseball Commentator #1: It is a beautiful day here at the All-Star Game in Konoha, the bottom of the sixth, two outs, and now we have first-baseman Uzumaki Naruto batting. Umpire calls for game on, and we are underway. Here comes the first pitch, and...
(POOF!)
Baseball Commentator #2: OH MY GOD! He used the Sexy Jutsu! The pitcher is nose-bleeding, and so is the back-catcher and the umpire!
Baseball Commentator #1: And here comes a very pissed-off Haruno Sakura! OOH and she punches him really, REALLY hard!
Baseball Commentator #2: Yeah, that's got to be shame for the batter!
(Clip ends.)
Kevin: L-O-L! I am R-O-T-F-L-O-L right now! And now, here's Otis presenting the number eight spot!
Otis: Thanks, Kevin. On the number eight spot of the Top Ten of Ultimate LOL in baseball, in a summer 2006 ball-game the pipe organs were supposed to play the famous anthem of baseball but the instrument was somehow hijacked and the result was this:
(Clip plays to an event where the people laugh out loud as the pipe organ plays a Rick Roll.)
Otis: But it was no laughing matter, since the police had found the guy that hacked into the electronic system to play songs on the pipe organ automatically. Back to you, Kevin.
Kevin: We're going to take a short break, but (in an "Arnie" voice) we'll be back!
(Six 30-second commercials play.)
S.C. Announcer: This show has been brought to you, by: Apple's iPhone. "Smart phone. Big costs." and also by: Sony's PlayStation 3. "PLAY B3HIND!"
Sonny: Hello, folks we are back! Here for number seven on the list is the infamous incident that happened in the 2004 season between the Dragons and the Crossfires. Before the game was to begin, the national anthems were to start up the game. National anthem singer Krusty the Clown was to sing the U.S. national anthem, but he screwed it up...majorly.
Kevin: ROLL CLIP!
(Clip plays.)
Krusty: Blah, blah blah, and blah...blah?
(Crowd boos out loud.)
Krusty: Oy...I should've had those cue cards with me...
(Clip ends.)
Kevin: Alright! For number six, the 1986 World Finals as the Chicago Grizzly Adams had won the trophy. But what happens if a player had stubby fingers holding the most precious, beloved trophy of all time in baseball? Play the clip!
(Clip plays to the event.)
(The 1986 Chicago Grizzly Adams celebrated their win to Queen's "We Are The Champions". Arthur Read, the youngest player in the team is raised up in a group pit while rising up the trophy. Suddenly, his grip slips and he drops the trophy on the ground. The crowd suddenly gasps, and an awkward silence is heard after that.)
Arthur: Umm...oops?
(Clip ends.)
Otis: We're now at the number five in the Top Ten! Number five is when Timmy Turner accidently ripped his pants out into his boxers after gunning for it to score the winning run for his team.
(Clip plays to the 2003 event.)
Game Commentator: Two outs, bases loaded, and here's Chester McBadbat batting for the Dimmsdale team in order to save itself from a major loss. Here goes the first pitch AND CHESTER HAS SCORED A LINE DRIVER!
(The whole attendance at the stadium cheers out loud, as Timmy Turner—on third base—runs really fast to reach to the home plate. The left outfielder gets the ball and throws it hard towards the direction at the back-catcher. Simultaneously, Timmy almost reaches the home plate and the back-catcher catching the ball. Next thing the crowd sees is a bunch of smoke, and it's hard to tell if Timmy scored in the run. After the dust clears, we see Timmy actually touching the home-plate and he made it through...without any pants.)
Umpire: SAFE!
(Crowd cheers out loud, as the team gets out from the dugout and celebrate the win.)
Game Commentator: TIMMY HAS SACRIFICED HIS PANTS TO GET HIS TEAM THE WIN! ISN'T THAT AWESOME?!
(Clip ends.)
Sonny: We're gonna take a break, but when we are back we'll continue the top ten for you so don't go away!
(Three 15-second and two 30-second commercials play, in random order.)
S.C. Announcer: This S.C: A.E. has been brought to you by, Gatorade-- "Is it NOT in you?" and by Duracell batteries... "Trust Nowhere!"
Sonny: We're back from the break, and here's number four! During a press conference, the Boston Red Hats had signed in Portgas D. Ace, but look what happens next!
(Clip plays)
Red Hats General Manager: And so, with the signing of our most prospected player Ace, I'm pretty sure the team and him will gain success for the—
(Suddenly, Ace falls asleep next to him. The press flash their cameras as he begins sleeping.)
Portgas D. Ace: (awaken a bit by the flash) Aw, no Luffy...keep your (BLEEP!) away from me!
(The press laughs out loud, and takes more pictures.)
Red Hats G.M: He-he, he's pretty much tired by the time we've announced his signing to the team!
(Clip ends.)
Otis: He really is, isn't he? Well, we've reached the top three of the Top Ten and on number three, the 2005 game between the Yappers and the Mako Sharks saw a group of fans streaking around the baseball diamond stark naked! Well, here it is!
(Clip plays.)
Baseball Colour Commentator: It's now the 6th inning here at the great old ball game and the first pitch is set to go!
(Suddenly, the crowd cheers when they see ten butt-naked men running around the baseball diamond, all of them in drunken daze.)
Baseball Colour Commentator: OH MY LORD! This isn't something I haven't seen in my years of commentating! Look at this! One drunken man is trying to savagely attack one of the baseball players playing defence, and HE'S TACKLED DOWN BY SECURITY!
(The crowd still cheers really loud.)
Baseball Colour Commentator: Well, I've seen worse lately...
(Clip ends there.)
Kevin: HA-HA-HA! Before we could get to the number one most ULTIMATE LOL in baseball moment, here's number two! The Springfield Isotopes are at it again when they face their most-hated rival team, the Shelbyville Shelbyvillians in a 2002 softball season. Homer and the gang made a mess in the changing room just before the game had started, and the Shelbyville team isn't so happy so they mooned at the Springfield fans as for the revenge they had planned.
Sonny: Unfortunately, the executive producer bastards over at S.C: A.E. asked us not to show footage, so (BLEEP!) you people! Finally, we've reached the number one spot of the Top ten! Number one is...when Turanga Leela pitches BEAN BALLS at batters—40 times!
Kevin: ...ROLL IT, JOE!
(Clip starts with Leela hitting batters with tethered baseballs at their heads, one-by-one. Each hit worse than the other, and when the hits are done, every batter is swollen, bruised, bleeding, and... battered by the impact.)
Sonny: Well, that's it for the show; tune in this channel for the upcoming 2008 Summer Animation Olympics in China and it's about I'd say 25 days away from starting. I'm Sonny Ing...
Kevin: ...I'm Kevin Chiu...
Otis: ...and I'm Otis J. Stewart...
Sonny: Wishing you all a nice and safe evening!
Sonny, Kevin, and Otis: GOOD BYE!
END!