Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! At least all the normal characters you recognize, I'm just borrowing the said characters. If I owned them, you could guarantee BtVS wouldn't be nearly such a good show as it is now! The story, my ego, and my soul belong to me, but if you want to give a kind donation, *ahem* I'll loan 'em out! LOL. J/K.
Author's Notes: This is my fourth BtVS fic, so, forgive me if I don't know what I'm doing, m'kay? Besides, I think of these weird little things at weird times, like in the car, and I have to figure out what to do with them when I get to my computer! And yes, I know it's kind of stupid, forgive me, okay? It's short and sweet.
Summary: Just a silly little fic inspired by something I read from CosmicFish. The gang presents Spike with a theory.
Rating: PG-13 for language.
Violent Tendencies
By ~Delenn~
She thinks I have ADD!?
I mean, what the fuck is up with that?
Said I tend to be violent. Well, shit, did she not notice that I'm a demon? Or have I become such a soddin' poof, that it's not evident?
Oh, I forgot sporadically violent. Excuse me. Again, with the demon thing, do I have to bloody spell it out for her?
Claims I'm downright impatient. I say, so? Why should I have to be patient? Before the chip, you talked over thirty seconds, I killed you. Nothing strange about that.
Went on and on about how hyper and jumpy I am. Took some bloody offense to that, I did. Never been accused of being "jumpy" before, and it wasn't big on the list, I can tell you.
It's all the Whelp's fault, thought it would be funny to make a little chronicle of the brain defects I had symptoms for, made Red find websites and everything. Tara thought it was funny, Dawn thought it was fucking hilarious; Buffy took it seriously.
Leave it to the Slayer to take the Whelp's attempts at degrading me as a serious "problem."
So what if I fit all the symptoms for ADD? I'm a vampire for fuck's sake; I think that changes it a little.
S'not like it matters, Slayer'd find some reason to hate me anyway. Some reason why I'm not good enough for her, gods forbid I might actually love her!
Oh, apparently I'm bipolar too. Didn't even call it that last time I checked, had to go look it up. That was embarrassing. Should'a known they'd set me up like that, all ganging up on me.
Oh, Spike's stupid, he doesn't know what bipolar is! Spike has ADD, put him on drugs!
Bloody hell, not like they pay-attention to the fact that I'm over a hundred in twenty years old! Back then you were sane, or locked up!
Besides, I'm a demon, who's sick and twisted enough to classify what's wrong with a demon? Soddin' Whelp, that's who!
And the nerve!
Slayer looked all shy, thought maybe she was realizing what a bloody stupid idea the whole thing had been, and what'd she go an do, the stupid cow?
Presents me with a Ritalin prescription! Then goes on to explain that it'll help mellow me out, and that everyone "like me" is on it.
Asked her what she meant, "like me," I did, wanted to know if this was a new way to control demons.
Of course, the bint didn't think it was funny.
Finally I gave up and told her I wasn't of the plan to let even more shit mess with my mind.
The chip's bad enough, like I want to add drugs to the mix! Apparently, I'm soddin' lucky Dawn told them where to shove it. They were planning of making an issue out of the matter.
Just imagine, a demon with soddin' ADD! Never heard the like in over a century!
Author's Notes: This is my fourth BtVS fic, so, forgive me if I don't know what I'm doing, m'kay? Besides, I think of these weird little things at weird times, like in the car, and I have to figure out what to do with them when I get to my computer! And yes, I know it's kind of stupid, forgive me, okay? It's short and sweet.
Summary: Just a silly little fic inspired by something I read from CosmicFish. The gang presents Spike with a theory.
Rating: PG-13 for language.
By ~Delenn~
She thinks I have ADD!?
I mean, what the fuck is up with that?
Said I tend to be violent. Well, shit, did she not notice that I'm a demon? Or have I become such a soddin' poof, that it's not evident?
Oh, I forgot sporadically violent. Excuse me. Again, with the demon thing, do I have to bloody spell it out for her?
Claims I'm downright impatient. I say, so? Why should I have to be patient? Before the chip, you talked over thirty seconds, I killed you. Nothing strange about that.
Went on and on about how hyper and jumpy I am. Took some bloody offense to that, I did. Never been accused of being "jumpy" before, and it wasn't big on the list, I can tell you.
It's all the Whelp's fault, thought it would be funny to make a little chronicle of the brain defects I had symptoms for, made Red find websites and everything. Tara thought it was funny, Dawn thought it was fucking hilarious; Buffy took it seriously.
Leave it to the Slayer to take the Whelp's attempts at degrading me as a serious "problem."
So what if I fit all the symptoms for ADD? I'm a vampire for fuck's sake; I think that changes it a little.
S'not like it matters, Slayer'd find some reason to hate me anyway. Some reason why I'm not good enough for her, gods forbid I might actually love her!
Oh, apparently I'm bipolar too. Didn't even call it that last time I checked, had to go look it up. That was embarrassing. Should'a known they'd set me up like that, all ganging up on me.
Oh, Spike's stupid, he doesn't know what bipolar is! Spike has ADD, put him on drugs!
Bloody hell, not like they pay-attention to the fact that I'm over a hundred in twenty years old! Back then you were sane, or locked up!
Besides, I'm a demon, who's sick and twisted enough to classify what's wrong with a demon? Soddin' Whelp, that's who!
And the nerve!
Slayer looked all shy, thought maybe she was realizing what a bloody stupid idea the whole thing had been, and what'd she go an do, the stupid cow?
Presents me with a Ritalin prescription! Then goes on to explain that it'll help mellow me out, and that everyone "like me" is on it.
Asked her what she meant, "like me," I did, wanted to know if this was a new way to control demons.
Of course, the bint didn't think it was funny.
Finally I gave up and told her I wasn't of the plan to let even more shit mess with my mind.
The chip's bad enough, like I want to add drugs to the mix! Apparently, I'm soddin' lucky Dawn told them where to shove it. They were planning of making an issue out of the matter.
Just imagine, a demon with soddin' ADD! Never heard the like in over a century!