24 ABY

Yavin 4

Luke's Jedi Temple

Inside one of the many small cabins

A 19-year-old Ben Solo rose from a wooden chair, shoes on, all dressed up; he turned around and stopped before taking another step, his eyes fell on the young woman peacefully asleep on the bed. His fiancé. The previous night had been amazing, they had made love (if he could call their nearly violent coupling that) and talked about their future. He felt like a liar as he smiled at all of the beautiful plans that left her rosy lips while they lay naked on the rumpled bed, her head on his chest, and the family ring he had put on her finger about a year ago sparkling as red as ever. She slept soundly now, unaware of his decision. All he had in mind at that moment was hope; hope that someday she might understand and forgive him for doing what he was about to do; hope that she wouldn't blame herself for his bad decisions and future wrongdoings. He knew he might never have her forgiveness, but he had to follow with his plan.

He turned around and his eyes fell on their lightsabers, both sitting on the small bedside-table; their hilts so similar but he knew their core-colors were nothing alike – his was dark blue while hers was pure white. He took her lightsaber without thinking twice and attached it to his belt, he'd need it for what he had to do – and they could control each other's swords very well so he wouldn't find any problems on the future and neither would she. Then he finally approached the door and, after a long glance around the simple room and at the beautiful sleeping woman on the bed, he left.

Sara woke up to an empty room. No sign of her boyfriend anywhere. She slowly stretched and sat up on the bed, rubbing her eyes and feeling her muscles complain from all the activities of the previous night – a smile formed on her lips at the memory. She threw the dark green duvet away and jumped from the bed to get dressed, getting ready for another day at the Jedi Training Temple. She hoped that her days there were getting close to an end, she couldn't wait to move on with her life, And marry Ben, of course. She thought happily.

She sat on the only wooden chair in the room (the same chair Ben had sat before to put on his shoes) and put her shoes on. Next, she tied her long dark-brown curly hair up on a ponytail and was ready to leave for breakfast; all she had to do was grab her lightsaber, which she found on the bedside table and attached to her belt before she left her small cabin.

Sara walked into the refectory, which was on the first floor of the Great Temple – a lofty pyramidal structure consisting of a number of successively receding stories and a high-ceilinged chamber at the top – that had been constructed over 5,000 years BBY by a group of Massassi, a warrior race who were once enslaved by the Sith. She passed by the younger Padawans' tables and went to the long table to grab herself a seallia sandwich and some caf.

She sat on her usual table, with the older apprentices, and looked around trying to find Ben. But he wasn't there. Neither were their four great friends: Phil, Nate, Jon and Len. Finding that odd but thinking that maybe they had gone run some errands for Master Luke, she started to eat.

She was halfway through her sandwich when Master Luke walked into the refectory, looking serious. He was about to seat you the younglings when he saw Sara and walked straight towards her.

"Morning, Sara." He greeted her.

She stood up and greeted him: "Morning, Master Luke."

"Have you seen Ben this morning?"

"No." She thought that question was weird. "I thought he was out doing something for you."

"Well, he isn't."

She stared silent at him, not knowing what to think much less what to say.

"And what about your other Master?" asked Luke. "Does Master Kin know where Ben might be?"

"I haven't seen Master Kin this morning either. He left my cabin last night..." She blushed and quickly looked down, feeling a little embarrassment. "...so that Ben and I could have some time alone. He hasn't showed up yet."

"Well, if you learn anything about Ben's whereabouts, please let me know."

"Sure, Master Luke."

And Luke walked away from her table towards the younger Padawans. Sara sat back down and looked at her half-eaten sandwich, she had become too worried to continue eating. So she stood up and walked outside towards her and Ben's spot by the beautiful waterfall near the Temple, at the foot of the Yunteh Mountain. From afar she could hear the loud grunts of their stubborn, but playful runyip friend – who they had named Runi after finding out it was a she. And as Sara walked closer to the waterfall, she saw the runyip using her long, bifurcated trunk to grab vegetation by the water, her beautiful green fur looking clean as always. Runi raised her head in worry at hearing someone getting closer, but she relaxed and slightly shook her long, white spotty tail once she recognized Sara.

"Hey, girl." Sara greeted her, patting Runi's shoulder that stood taller than Sara's. Then she looked around trying to find her boyfriend, unsuccessfully. "You haven't seen Ben around, have you?" she asked Runi; but the runyip only squealed softly in response. "I'll take that as a 'no'." So Sara walked to a rock by the water and sat on it, trying to think where he could have gone.

After a while just listening to the sound of the waterfall, she decided to use the Force to track Ben. She crossed her legs and closed her eyes, clearing her mind, trying to find his energy. She easily found it – but it was coming from her belt. She took the lightsaber she had hooked there earlier and ignited it. It was dark-blue. Ben had taken her lightsaber instead of his own.

"But for what reason?" She murmured to herself, in confusion.

She turned off the sword and closed her eyes again, trying to find him, looking past the lightsaber's energy.

And she found nothing.

She tried harder, focusing all of her energy to find his Force-signature.

Still nothing.

There was only one possible explanation.

"He is not on Yavin." she heard her Master Kin's voice exteriorizing her thoughts.

Sara opened her eyes, uncrossing her legs. "What do you mean he's not on Yavin? Where else would Ben be?"

"I don't know; and it worries me. All I can say for sure is that he's not here on this planet." he sounded serious.

"But if he's not here that means he's left the Temple. He abandoned his training and he left... me."

Master Kin looked at her with sympathy in his blue eyes.

"We feared something like this could happen." He said slowly, as if he was telling her a secret that he had kept from her until now. "But we hoped that Ben wouldn't choose that path after he had met you."

"What do you mean? Who's we?" She asked, frowning.

"Me and the other Jedi who have become one with the Force. We have some insights about the future from time to time. As you can imagine, it's a dangerous knowledge for we cannot meddle with it, we cannot change what we see. Well, at least not directly – but subtle changes have been necessary, and proven worthy, in the past." He paused. "That's why I went to you when you were a child; your powers became unbalanced after your parents' death. And feelings are a strong thing, Sara, love being the strongest of them all. When we saw that your unbalanced state could have great impact in the future, the Council – as they like to be called – decided that you needed a Master. As no living Jedi Masters were available at the time you were eight, a dead one had to be enough."

"And you were chosen for that task, I already know that last part. But why are you reminding me of that now? What does that have to do with Ben being gone?"

"We've foreseen that there was a chance Ben Solo could become a Dark-Force user, by the hand of Snoke."

"What? No! Not the Ben I know!" She was skeptical.

"He has always had both Light and Dark inside of him, Sara. You've felt it, you know it." Insisted Master Kin.

"Yes, but he's always had both powers balanced. Never one stronger than the other."

"And yet, now he's fled the Jedi Temple."

"That doesn't mean he has gone sith!" Sara was furious at her dead Master. "How could you even think such a thing? You know him too, you were around when we skipped classes to train, you felt his powers!"

"Yes. But, still, he is gone. And he didn't tell you where he was going."

Sara sat down on the rock again and let her head fall on her hands. She didn't know what to think. As infuriating as Master Kin' words were, he was right: Ben had left the Temple (and her) without ever saying a word about it.

"We need to tell Luke about this." Master Kin said after a while.

She silently nodded and got up, walking to Luke's office.

Sara knocked on the door to Master Luke's office and heard him telling her to enter. She walked into the room and closed the door. Master Kin appeared to her right.

"Ben is not on Yavin anymore." She spoke unceremoniously.

Master Luke stared at her, shocked at her words. "What are you saying? How do you know that? Where else could he be?"

"We can't feel his energy on the planet..." She looked at Master Kin (whom Luke could see too). "And we are certain he's gone, although we don't know exactly where."

Luke looked at her and at Master Kin, feeling there was more to that story. "Is there something else you two are not telling me?"

"Ben took my lightsaber instead of his." said Sara. "I don't know if it was by mistake or intentionally."

"Wouldn't he have felt it was not his own once he took it?" Asked Master Luke.

"Not really. We..." She hesitated, not knowing how to explain it to him. "We can perfectly work with each other's lightsabers; I only realized I had had his saber on my belt all morning because I tried to find him and tracked his energy to it."

Luke stared at her, trying to decide what that information meant.

"Also..." Said Master Kin, finally joining the conversation, "There has always been a chance that Ben Solo could become a Dark-Force user, by Snoke's training."

Luke stood up and looked at him, palpable anger building up, then he shouted: "And why haven't you done anything about it? Why haven't I heard about this before?"

"Ben couldn't see him, how could Master Kin have done anything?" Sara jumped in defense of her dead Master, confused at Luke's accusation.

"He knows he could have done something!" Shouted Luke clearly meaning something she had no intel on.

"Okay. So now there's something the two of you are not telling me." she said looking at both men.

"I did do something." Said Master Kin, as calmly as always. "I trained Sara, I helped her get here. She is an important part of Ben's future. When I saw him developing feelings for her, the Council tried looking into the future again but it had become hazy, so we thought it was simply being rewritten and what had been previously foreseen wouldn't happen anymore."

"Apparently, you were wrong." Accused Luke. "And he's not the only one missing. Other four boys, Nate Iblis, Phil Bastra, Len Terrik and his cousin, Jon Horn, are nowhere to be found."

"They were all mine Ben's friends." exclaimed Sara. "What can we do now?" Sara asked. "I refuse to believe the Ben I know would want to become a Sith Lord. He asked me to marry him! We had plans. Peaceful plans. Family plans!"

"That's what the Dark Side does, Sara." Interrupted Luke, his voice laced with bitterness. "It destroys families and dreams. And Ben has it in his blood; as I have it in mine." His hard eyes fell on Master Kin who seemed suddenly embarrassed. "There's nothing we can do about it." Finished Luke.

Sara watched the two men's silent staring contest for a while and decided to leave the room – watching their piss-fight wouldn't help her help Ben.

"You haven't told her yet." Said Luke as Sara closed the door after she left.

"No."

"You won't be around her much longer. She doesn't need any of us anymore. And once the Council finds out she's ready they will make you leave her side."

"I know. They have already warned me."

"Also, she deserves to hear the truth from you." Continued Luke.

"I know all of that, son."

Luke paused as he always did whenever the man called him son.

"She won't be too angry, I think." Luke said, after a while. "She'll understand. She loves you like a father."

"Perhaps."

"That's what you're afraid of, isn't it? To lose her love."

Master Kin just stared at the window, silent.

"I think the moment to let her go has arrived." Luke spoke softly. "We both must let her go. She'll be needed elsewhere now that Ben has joined Snoke. The Resistance will need her. Leia will need her."

"I'll talk to her tonight." It was all Master Kin said before he disappeared.

Sara tried to move on with her day as normally as possible. She trained with the older apprentices, helped the young Padawans after lunch and meditated in the late afternoon. But, once she walked into her small cabin after dinner, the reality of Ben no longer being there with her hit her hard. She closed the door and looked around the room, the flickering light of the fireplace making it feel comfortable; her eyes fell on her bed, still messy from their love-making in the previous night, and then she looked at the red Rol Stone ring on her finger. She felt betrayed and confused, tears started to roll down her face and all of her strength left her legs, so she leaned back against the door and slipped down onto the floor, crying. Memories of three years ago – of the day Ben had asked her to be his girlfriend, flooded her mind:

FLASHBACK

They had skipped yet another duelling class to be by the waterfall, talking and just enjoying each other's company. They were both lying on the ground, about a foot away from each other, eyes closed.

"You know." Said Ben. "I was thinking: we don't need to go to class but we could train anyway." He looked at her. "You could teach me how to be a better sword fighter. You are great."

"Yeah. I could." Agreed the fifteen-year-old Sara.

Then she stood up and looked at the ground, trying to find some wooden pieces that could be used as swords. She found a long log and, with the Force, she broke it into two pieces and shaped them into swords. She reached one out in his direction and Ben took it, getting up from the ground to begin their lesson:

"Remember to create a firm base, put your legs a bit apart and you'll have more strength to hit your opponent." Said Sara. "Don't think of just attacking and harming your enemy, you need to stay calm and pay attention to their every move, otherwise you'll only get yourself killed."

Ben nodded and got in position, so Sara attacked him. He was able to avoid her first blows but she got him on the side eventually and he fell on his knees.

"Just killed you." She said with a smile, before giving him a hand to help him up.

Then Ben attacked her before she could get into position.

"Hey! That's cheating!" She shouted while trying to protect herself.

Although Sara was fast, Ben had caught her out of guard so he managed to disarm her by the fifth blow. But before he could deliver the final blow that would have deemed her "dead" she raised her hand in his direction and froze him in place.

"I can't... move my legs!" He put his sword down and stared at his legs, looking surprised. "You've gotta teach me how to do that!" he smiled to her.

Sara laughed, still keeping him locked in place.

"Admit defeat and I'll let you go." She said getting close to him.

"No way! This is not fair!" He motioned his still frozen legs. "You used the Force against me, and that wasn't the deal. This is a swordfight lesson!" He couldn't stop himself from staring at her lips, noticing the blush on her cheeks and the sweat on her skin.

"Okay. I'll let you go. You big baby!" Then she released him and summoned her sword from the ground, attacking him quickly but he was fast enough to block her, their wooden weapons clashed violently. Ben aimed a blow to her right shoulder but she threw herself onto the ground, hitting the back of his legs, making him fall on his back.

Ben shouted in pain and surprise, feeling the air leave his lungs for a second.

Sara kicked his sword away from his hand and sat on top of him, her sword on his neck.

"And I've killed you again." She said, smiling.

They stared into each other's eyes, both panting. Sara let her sword fall onto the ground and tried to get off of him, but Ben's hands held her forearms, stopping her. Then he moved his hands up towards her face, pulling her down to his chest, their lips so close now.

"Ben." She whispered.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked.

"Why?" she asked without knowing why – after all, she had wanted him to kiss her since last year.

"I like you. I like being with you and training with you. Whenever you're around, I feel happier. I'd like to kiss you and see if there's any way that this thing between us could get better." He finished with a whisper, his lips only an inch from hers. Sara looked into his eyes for a minute before slightly nodding, allowing him to bring their lips together.

It was a soft kiss at first, then he caught her bottom lip between his teeth and she felt her whole body tremble, wanting more. His tongue soon was touching her lips, asking for entrance, and she let it in. The feeling of their tongues touching for the first time was inexplicable; Sara felt her head spin; her legs went weak and she whimpered into his mouth.

Ben rolled them over, lying on top of her, between her legs, loving the feeling of her smaller body under his hard one.

"This can definitely get so much better. " He whispered, before kissing her again.

Sara touched his broad shoulders, pulling him closer, loving having his heavy body on top of hers. Her hands entangled into his hair as his lips left her mouth to focus on the sensitive skin of her jaw and neck. She sighed in pleasure, letting him touch her and touching him back. He kissed her collarbone and rubbed his nose between her breasts over her shirt before returning to her lips, kissing her with passion.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He whispered between wet kisses.

"Yes." She replied with a smile.

Then he stared into her beautiful blue eyes – heavy with desire, as were his, – and he looked at her moist lips – swollen and red for so many kisses – , her hair was messy and filled with leaves and small pebbles.

"You look...edible." He finally said.

Sara laughed in delight at his choice of words.

"I could lick you all over." He continued, not letting her laughter stop him from telling her how he felt. His words made her stop laughing, desire burning hot in her eyes. "I'd like to lick you, and bite you... Taste even your blood in my mouth."

Then Sara bit his bottom lip, playfully, but hard enough to draw blood. Ben took that as an invitation and bit her lips as well, tasting the metallic taste of their bloods mixing in their mouths. He felt his desire for her increase, the certainty that he had found something special in her taking over his body, one of his hands roamed her body, touching her thighs, while the other found her hair at the back of her neck and pulled at it, exposing her neck to his kisses.

Sara moaned when he pulled her hair.

"Oh, you like that." he whispered hoarsely, "You're driving me crazy, pet." He took her lips again before suddenly rolling out from between her legs. "We'd better stop." He lay on his back, panting.

"I agree." She replied. Then she looked at him, remembering something: "Hey, you called me 'pet'."

"Yes. I think I did. Didn't you like it? It was totally impulsive, I..."

"I liked it. But let's keep it between us. No nicknames in public."

"I agree." He replied, taking her hand to his mouth and kissing it.

Suddenly a male voice spoke inside Sara's head: "You'd better get going before you miss dinner." And she sat up quickly, startling Ben.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Master Kin just..." She was blushing. "He was here to remind us to move or we'll miss dinner."

"So, let's go." Said Ben, standing up and helping Sara to her feet too. He started to remove dirt and leaves from her hair. "We can't show up and the refectory looking like this, it's obvious what we have been doing."

"Let's go clean up and we'll meet again in the refectory's doors, what do you think?" She said.

"Fine by me."

And they walked towards the cabins, each going to their own after a kiss.

END OF FLASHBACK

Crying onto her pillow was how Master Kin found her.

"Sara." He called her.

"Why, Master Kin? Why would he leave?" She sat up and asked him, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "You really don't know?"

"No. I told you the truth, dear. We thought he wouldn't turn Dark anymore after..."

"I don't want to know what the others thought!" She interrupted him. "I want to know what you think! You knew him. Why do you think he left? Was there any reason that I cannot see?"

"No, dear, don't you dare think he left because of something you did. No! You didn't do anything wrong. He chose to leave." Master Kin stopped close to her.

"But I can't understand. All our plans... we talked about them last night, less than 24 hours ago!" She stared at the fire in the fireplace, as if looking for answers in them. "What could he be hiding from me?"

Master Kin waited a couple of minutes until she looked at him.

"I don't know about Ben. But... I have something to tell you." He said softly.

"Oh, no." She quickly understood: "You're leaving me too, aren't you?" She asked, sadness filling her voice.

Master Kin nodded.

"This must be some sort of Let's-all-abandon-Sara-Day that I was not aware of."

"Not really." He chuckled. "The Council has wanted me to leave you for at least four months now. But I didn't want to go. So, I lied to them."

"You lied to the other Jedi Masters? Isn't that against the Jedi Code or something?"

"Yes. It is. But, as you are about to find out, I've never really cared much about the Jedi Code when I was alive, they couldn't expect me to begin just because I died and they accepted me into their little club."

"Were you a Rebel Jedi, Master Kin?" She asked in an attempt to make a joke.

"No. I was a Sith Lord."

Sara lost her weak smile and stared at him, trying to see if he was the one joking.

"You're serious?" She asked.

"Yes. My real name is Anakin Skywalker."

Sara moved her mouth but no sound came off for a while. Then she found her voice again and asked: "What? You are... you were...?"

"Yes."

Sara just looked at the man in front of her – the man she had known since she was eight years old, the man who she thought, at first, was an imaginary friend that her mind had created to help her cope with the death of her parents. He was – or had been – Darth Vader. She had been trained – and nurtured – by the Ultimate Sith Lord of all times and she had never suspected.

"Why?" it was all she could think of asking.

"You needed to learn to trust a Dark Force user. You had to become the Gray Jedi you had the potential to be. Otherwise the future of the Galaxy wouldn't have hope."

She just looked at him.

So he continued: "As I've told you many times: your fate – or at least a part of it, has already been written. The unwritten part can still be changed and, depending on your choices, there will or won't be balance in the Galaxy."

"It's because of Ben, isn't it?" she whispered. "The reason I had to learn to trust a Dark Force user; and why I had to become a Gray Jedi."

"Yes."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to simply stop him from leaving the Temple?"

"We can't interfere directly with destiny, Sara. We can only help make it better. You and he were always fated to be together, but the unpredicted murder of your parents interfered with your balance. The Darker side of your powers – a darkness all living beings have inside of them – threatened to unbalance the Lighter side of them. That's why I was chosen to help you, to guide you."

"Why didn't you help Ben? He's your grandson!" she suddenly realized that.

"Because we all thought, correctly, that his fate was already written up to him joining Snoke. We weren't aware of the reasons that would take him to make such a decision. And when we saw his love for you and that his future had become hazy, we believed it had changed. But now I think just the reason of his joining may have changed, but the result ended up being the same."

"His reasons may have changed, you say. But that's what I don't understand: he had no reason to do that. Ben is not a liar, he wasn't tricking me... he can't have been fooling me for the past three years!"

"All we know, Sara, is that his future is not written from now on. And neither is yours. That's why you have a great part to play to make sure the Force finds its balance again..."

"But what can I do?"

"Luke will declare you ready to leave the Temple tomorrow."

"What? So, Ben's left me, you're leaving me, and tomorrow Luke's sending me away? What am I supposed to do? Where will I go?"

"You'll join the Resistance."

"What? I've never had any interest on joining any sides of the war!"

"But now you must. Ben joined Snoke. The only way to find out why he did that – because you say you believe he must have had a reason to do so – is joining the Resistance."

"How will I do that? I don't know anyone in the Resistance, how will they believe I am not a spy or..." She sounded lost.

"Luke will send word for Leia. She'll come here to talk to him about Ben and to pick you up."

"Oh, yes, now I'll really calm down! That woman was going to be my mother-in-law and now I'm supposed to join her to fight against her son – who was going to be my husband until last night!" She was hyperventilating. "I don't want to do any of that... I want to go back in time and make Ben stay... I don't want you to go... I don't want to leave the Temple... I..."

"Dear." Master Kin knelt in front of her and held her hands, trying to calm her down. "You're strong enough to handle all of this. And if there's a reason for Ben's actions, you won't need to fight against him, you'll need to save him instead."

"Do you think that the Dark-Force user, Snoke, forced him to leave?"

"It's a possibility. But Ben's feelings for you are real. We saw it in the fabric of destiny. You can use that to help him defeat Snoke."

"So, you want me to use my love for him as a weapon?"

"Love is a weapon, Sara." He said, trying to make her understand. "It's the strongest weapon in existence. Do you remember your history lessons? When Luke explained why I became Vader?"

"Yes."

"And why was it?"

"You foresaw your wife's death and wanted to stop it." She spoke softly.

"But she died anyway. And her death drove me crazy with grief."

"Yes, but Luke saved you."

"Right. But not before I killed half the galaxy."

Sara looked at him. Still trying to absorb that her dear Master Kin had been a Sith Lord when alive.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked.

"No. I think I should be but..." She looked up at him. "I know you. You've been by my side for 10 years. Whoever the man that created Darth Vader was, you're not him anymore."

"Thank you, Sara." a tear left his right eye and he stood up. "I must go now."

"Thank you. For everything." She got up as well. "I know I wouldn't have survived without you."

"You would have survived, but you don't want to know what kind of life it would've been."

"How bad would it be?"

"As dark as mine."

Sara grimaced and smiled.

Anakin focused his energy to become corporeal enough to hug her, then he slowly disappeared, leaving Sara alone in her small cabin.

Notes1: I don't really like to use flashbacks but that's the only way to let you know all the things I know have happened between the Sara and Ben in the past, so you can expect some of those in this fanfic.

Notes2: All those technical information regarding the Temple, the seallia sandwich, and runyips I found on Wookieepedia.