Elephant in the Room
(An episode tag for "Anti Terrorism Squad")
Criminal Minds, (G) Reid, Rossi.
mccabebabe
He took a few more deep breaths and calmed himself; splashed some water on his face and patted it dry with paper towel. A few more deep breaths and then he surveyed himself in the mirror. Pasting a neutral look on his face, he exited the jet's tiny lavatory and moved to return to his seat.
He noted with relief that both Emily Prentiss and Luke Alvez were still fast asleep in their seats. Seated just ahead of them, Jennifer Jareau was engrossed in a phone conversation; probably her husband, he thought. Hopefully, none were aware of his sudden escape to the bathroom. The only person likely to pay him any attention as he headed to his seat was Senior Agent David Rossi. Spencer Reid steeled himself for the inevitable interrogation; Rossi didn't miss much.
As he stepped past JJ, he deliberately stuck his hand in his pocket and turned his attention toward the cell phone he extracted, intent on not making eye contact with Rossi. His messenger bag sat on the aisle seat and he stretched to move it onto the adjacent window seat. A file folder fell out onto the aisle seat and he retrieved it, tossing it on top of the bag before sliding into the now vacant aisle seat. Finally, he dropped the pretense, setting the phone down on the table in front of him. Taking another deep breath, he closed his eyes and released the breath slowly. When he opened his eyes, he was startled to find David Rossi sitting in the seat across the table from him, holding an old fashioned glass full of his favourite Scotch.
"Spencer," he started, not fooled by the younger man's attempt to appear preoccupied. "Everything okay?"
Reid patted the phone and nodded, replying as nonchalantly as he could, "Yeah. It's fine," but he looked away, not wanting to meet Rossi's gaze.
Rossi's eyes narrowed. His brow furrowed and he sighed. Something was up, he just knew it. Earlier in the evening, Reid had taken a phone call from his mother's nursing home. He'd spent an hour or so speaking with her doctor and as a result had missed the team's takedown of Kyle, the bullied unsub. They'd already had that conversation: Rossi had assured Reid that his absence was all right; his mother was rightfully his priority. And everything, Reid had told him then, was apparently quite all right with his mother. Rossi eyed Reid intently. The younger man would not make eye contact with him. His gaze seemed to be directed at the floor, at his phone, out the window across the aisle from them. Rossi watched as Reid's eyes, normally clear and expressive, clouded over and appeared unfocused as his gaze shifted around, carefully avoiding Rossi. And the file folder on the seat beside him, Rossi noticed.
"The elephant in the room," Rossi decided aloud. He set down his drink on the table. Something in that folder was bugging Reid, Rossi realised. But he wasn't going to pester The Kid, he thought, and immediately scolded himself silently. Gotta stop calling him Kid, even if he is the youngest one of us.
He heard Reid's sharp intake of breath, just before he spoke.
"Morgan told you!" he said, part accusing, part questioning.
Now, Reid made eye contact with Rossi, who was genuinely puzzled.
"What did Morgan tell me?" he asked evenly. He hadn't spoken to Derek Morgan in months and had no idea what Reid meant.
"Why did you say the elephant in the room?" Reid countered.
"Whatever's bothering you I think is in that file," Rossi indicated the folder perched on top of Reid's messenger bag. He saw that Reid tensed up and his lips pursed. "Look, Spencer, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I get it. I just hate to see you all tied up in knots about something. I just wanted to untie some of those knots."
There was that look of sadness in Reid's eyes again, Rossi saw. Sighing, he decided perhaps now was not the time. Whatever was bothering Reid was obviously magnified by Rossi's attempt to draw him out and the older man felt bad about exacerbating Reid's discomfort. He stood and picked up his drink thinking it best to leave Reid alone.
He lowered his voice to barely a whisper and bent his head down closer. "I'm sorry, Spencer, I just—"
"It's okay, I—" he motioned for Rossi to retake his seat which the older man immediately did. "Please. I read the rest of the case file, since I missed the closure," Reid began and swallowed hard. "It just brought back a painful old memory, Rossi," he paused to steel himself and take a breath and Rossi interrupted him, setting his drink back down on the table. Leaning forward, he tentatively putting his hand on Reid's shoulder.
"Dave. Call me Dave, Spencer. And you don't have to tell me whatever it was you thought Morgan told me," Rossi said, his mind putting together all the pieces.
"I haven't even thought about it in years, not since Morgan and I had that conversation. But I read the case file, Dave, and it was like reliving my own experience all over again."
Rossi shook his head as the final piece fell into place for him. He patted Reid's shoulder again.
"I'm sorry, Spencer," he said sympathetically. He paused for a moment, debating whether he should abandon the subject and Reid made the decision for him.
Reid patted the folder. "Looks like Emily did a fantastic job of talking him down."
"She did," Rossi agreed. He caught Reid's attention and gave him an encouraging smile. Buoyed by this, Reid opened up a little more.
"I'm okay, Ros—Dave. Really. It's always gonna be there, like Morgan said, we all have an elephant's memory when it comes to past torment and those who inflicted it. But I have moved past it. It doesn't haunt me daily anymore, Dave, those days are long behind." He paused to give Rossi a tiny smile and nodded. "Now, I just use my experience. That's something else Morgan said once."
Rossi acknowledged him, "And that's made you particularly good at being empathic, Spencer. Probably the best out of all of us."
"I'm just sorry. When I read the file and saw what drove Kyle to do what he did, I'm just sorry that I wasn't there to help. It kinda made everything—" He patted the case file in his hand and a look of regret crossed his face.
Rossi shushed him, shaking his head 'no' ever so slightly. "Don't, Spencer." He squeezed Reid's shoulder again and continued, "You had another priority at the time. We all understand that, Son. It happens to us too. You would've been the best profiler to deal with Kyle's situation, but we've got your back, Spencer. We got this one. Emily handled it just fine."
Reid nodded, "She did."
Rossi sat back in his seat and looked Reid over again. He reclaimed his drink, raised his glass as though to toast Reid.
"Vi auguro tutto il meglio, il mio amico," he told the younger man.
"Thank you, Ros—Dave." Slowly, he released another deep breath, and smiled as he met the older man's gaze. The elephant in the room disappeared.