B'Elanna enjoys a moment of personal triumph. Added Moment to Gravity. Companion story to Reflection of Illusions.

Work Text:

"Tom, it sounds like a nice idea but I don't have time right now." The padd in front of her had too many things to check off. She placed it back on the console directing her attention back to the panel.

"So when will you have the time?" he asked. He stood back against the wall. The rest of the engineering department barely noticed his presence because they were used to seeing him wander in and out.

"I don't know. Maybe...Friday night?" Damn. There was no time to fit everything in today. Maybe she could talk Seven into helping. She picked up the padd to add few items.

"Friday? That's two days from now! I've been gone a long time."

"You've been gone for three days. Three days of non-stop activity of us trying to get you out of there. We barely had time to miss you."

"I missed you."

"Tom, Supervisor Yost and his people are interested in trading with us and the Captain has agreed despite everything. I've got to get together a checklist of things I need but we are working on a deadline. I would think you would want a long rest after your time on that planet. It sounded like a hell hole."

"I don't want a rest. I...have something I have to tell you and the last thing I want to think about is that damn planet."

"Then don't," she said. She realized she was sounding snippy but really, what did he want? A welcome home party, a parade, and fireworks? He didn't really expect her to drop everything, did he? After just three days?

"YOU brought it up."

She let out a long breath of air. Damn it. There were too many things going on at once.

"Maybe it would be best if you just left. I'll...talk to you later." Surely he could see how busy she was.

"Sure. Great. So to you, this is...just another day."

She expelled a long breath of air. She sat the padd back down and counted to ten. She took great care in turning around to face him but was greeted by an empty space. He was gone.

Her shift would be over by now. She would come to the mess hall but he wouldn't be there. Tom laid back on on his sofa blessing Chakotay for allowing him to take a few days off. He wondered if she would stop by. She should stop by. She would have at least contacted him. He was the one who had undergone extreme emotional and physical trauma or did she just not care? Damn it.

"Computer, locate Lieutenant Torres."

'Lieutenant Torres is in Commander Chakotay's quarters." Tom sat up. Oh really. Tom had been away for months and she had time for Chakotay but not for her. Well, then he would find time for someone else.

"Computer, locate Noss."

"Noss is in the observation lounge."

He arrived just as some of the women of the crew were taking their leave of her. Smiling to himself he reflected on how well the tough but shy alien woman had ingratiated herself with the crew. She had an innocent charm capable of drawing in the most hardened of space travelers, that is except for Tuvok. The women left one by one, each giving her a hug and telling her goodnight. Waving to the last of them to them her eyes wandered around the room, lighting up when she saw him.

"Tom!" she said. She waved for him to come and sit by her.

"Everyone treating you alright?" he asked as he took a seat across from her.

"Of course they are! I see why you missed them so much." The universal translator made direct communication much easier.

"Looking forward to going home?" he asked. He had to be careful with how he handled this.

"Yes, yes. I will miss you...and the Doctor...and Tuvok." Her smile faded just a bit but then revived quickly. "It will be good...good to be home. Good to see my family again. For so long I thought I would be down there...forever."

"I know the feeling." He returned the smile. She gave a short small laugh, reaching out across the table to take his hand. "I know you do," she said in response. It was good to be with her, good to talk to someone who understood. The Doctor would do his best and Tuvok, he didn't want to think about Tuvok. Maybe he should seek him out and apologize but then he realized the Vulcan would say that was illogical but there was this heavy 'thing' hanging over him that he had to make right.

Chakotay's words were troubling
There they were, Tom and Noss
She was holding his hand. Looking deep into Tom's eyes. Sharing a sad smile.
Tom's three months...with her.
There is something I have to tell you.
Sharp knives of jealousy, of hurt feelings tore through the heart.
Backing away into the darkness.
There is something I have to tell you.

Tom and Noss parted in the observation room, each going to their separate quarters. He was glad he had decided to spend those few moments with her. Talking things out made him realize again how much he had almost lost...and how happy he was to have it all back. They were getting closer and closer to her home world and then she would be gone but the memory of her would stay ingrained in his mind forever. Being with her reminded him of his far away sisters.

He still hadn't heard from B'Elanna but now it didn't matter. He was no longer miffed at her for turning away from him today. This was not the welcome home he wanted but he had time to consider it from B'Elanna's point of view. Three day away missions were nothing. He had gone on many and so had she. She had not experienced that horrible finality of it all when he believed he would never see her again and he hoped she never would.

There he is talking with Tuvok.
The Vulcan had been more reticent than usual.
Chakotay said...
Noss joining them.
Noss the enigma.
There is something I have to tell you.

Noss' eyes flitting back and forth.
Noss laughing…
Tom laughing
Tuvok with his trademark sardonic look.
There is something I have to tell you.

There they are again, in the corridor.
What the hell does it mean?
What was going on between them?
Noss walking away, so sad.
There is something I have to tell you.

Time after time he would reach for his combadge to hail her and time after time he pulled back. He knew what was stopping him. He had to clear the air with Tuvok before he could move forward. He couldn't relax or enjoy his time with B'Elanna with this thing hanging over his head. Even if made no sense to Tuvok and even if it only served to make Tom feel better about himself...he had to do it.

Tom in Tuvok's room.
Sharing what?
Tom, stuck on that planet forever
I know what happened.
I am going to march right into Tuvok's room and hurl accusations, and rage,
Cut him off, refuse to listen to his feeble excuses.
What excuse could he give?
He wanted time alone.
Time to tell me. About this.
People have betrayed me before.
People had left me, walking away.
But...
There were many times when he could have just walked away
But he didn't. All the times he waited for me
It's my turn to wait, to show a little faith.
A little faith.

Noss was going home. B'Elanna waited outside the transporter while Tom said good by. She expected it to take a long time but to her surprise, the room emptied out after a few minutes. Neelix, the crewman who ran the transporter and then Tom. Tuvok remained inside.

"She going to be ok?" she asked. She guided him down a side corridor out of sight of the others. Tom nodded. "I envy her...going home. Why...did everyone leave transporter room?"

"To give her and Tuvok a moment." He sighed. Here it comes.

"Why do they need a moment?" she asked. She recognized his expression, his demeanor. He was about to share something with her. Something difficult. Moment of truth time.

"Because...Noss sort of developed a thing...for Tuvok while we were down there. It was kind of...serious on her part," he said.

"Tuvok!" she thought he was joking at first. She almost laughed out loud fulling expecting him to wink or say a few snarky words but his face stayed serious. Relief flowed through her. So that's what all the heart to heart and sad glances were about. Tuvok!

"Yes. She couldn't understand why he couldn't return her feelings. I suggested he try a mind meld with her...to help explain things to her."

"Is that why you were in his quarters the other night?"

"That and I had to clear the air about some things. You know how it is...these away missions. Someone says or does something they regret. I said and did a lot of things I regret but Tuvok being Tuvok didn't understand my need to make things right...but I did anyway and we really don't need to talk about that anymore. It's between him and me. Now can I ask you a question?"

"Sure?"

"What did you need to see Chakotay about the other night?"

"That?" She blinked. She was not the only one who had been keeping track of movements. She couldn't get angry at him because she had been doing the same thing.

"Well...I was feeling bad about pushing you away when you came by engineering….and I needed a bit of insight. Chakotay has been through it. Remember when he and the Captain had that virus and we had to leave them on that planet? I asked him to tell me about it. It was my way of trying to understand what you had been through."

"That was nice of you. Did he help?"

"Yes. He said that while it was a pleasant place and he had, in his words 'good companionship', he went through what he called a double mourning period. He had gone through the initial process that we all went through, of being torn away from all that is familiar and believing he would never see home and family again. Then he had adjusted to having a new family only to be torn away again. That's probably what you experienced. I'm sorry. I should have been more understanding..."

"It's alright. I just wanted us to go somewhere quiet so I could tell you that I experienced a deep sense of loss without you. I thought I would never see you again," Tom said. "And that I love you very much. There is a lot more I have to say to you. I've got months to make up for." He reached down and kissed her very gently. 'Now can I get a real homecoming?" He asked.

"Not right this minute!" She pretended to be shocked "But yes. Tonight after my shift is over...you can...tell me...all about it."

He kissed her again before sauntering back down the corridor. Watching him until he was out of sight she started to make her way back to Engineering but her attention diverted by Tuvok exiting the transporter room. His face gave nothing away. B'Elanna knew the Vulcan would fight down any pain that might arise from the memory of his time away and she hoped that Noss would live a long and happy life.

She, however, at the moment felt total joy. She had done it. She had almost given into her old way of thinking potentially blowing a delicate situation totally out of proportion. Nothing bad had happened and Tom still loved her. It was one small step, a baby step. She accepted that people don't change overnight and more than likely she would backslide again before too long but right now she had done the right thing.

Walking back to her duty station she decided that she would, just this once, and without reservations, feel completely and totally proud of herself.