Bluh bluh bluh, Truth or Dare, whole bunch of shit.

Rules at bottom!

Disclaimer: Would Hussie SERIOUSLY do this?!

Hussie: Maybe.

Me: But you'd kill them off.

Hussie: Why yes, yes I would.

A girl paced in front of her door, muttering angrily to herself. It seemed that she was waiting for something. She was barely five feet tall, and rather skinny, with dark brown hair and matching eyes covered by glasses. Her braces had purple and light orange bands. Her limbs were tannish, though her face was pale, with slightly rosy cheeks.

"Okay, just calm down, just calm down. Maybe she's busy! That's why she didn't update! But it's been two weeks! She HAS to update her fanfic, or I will DIE! Wait." She paused. "Wasn't I waiting for something?"

Just then, a Skaia portal appeared, dumping out twelve trolls and four humans behind her. She winced as she heard them hit the bushes, with a cry of, "OWW, GET OFF MY LEG!"

"Shut it, ED!" A voice snarled.

"Welp." The girl turned around, a brilliant smile on her face. "Hello!" She giggled slightly as a certain male troll turned towards the sound of her voice, face paint slightly smeared.

"Hey, sis. Could you all up and motherfucking tell us where we are?"

"Well," she began, "you're all here to play a game!"

"We've already fucking played one!"

"No, Karkat, I'm not talking about a computer game," she sighed. "It's a simple game, by the name of Truth or Dare!"

By then, everybody was standing up. "Oh, boy! Can I go first?" Vriska asked.

"No, YOU'RE the ones getting truthed or dared!"

"Truthed ithn't a word."

"I don't give a shit."

Everyone blinked, a little startled by the sudden swear.

"Um, excuse me," Equius said, "but aren't you a little young to be using such lewd language? You only look like you're about five sweeps."

Surprisingly, that sentence made the girl flush an angry red. "I'M THIRTEEN! WHICH IS FUCKING SIX SWEEPS FOR YOU TROLLS! I'M JUST SMALL FOR MY AGE, OKAY?!"

Everyone took a step back. The girl's cheeks slowly died down to their usual rosiness, albeit a bit darker.

"Anyways..." She pulled out an iPod. "The truths and dares will show up in my inbox, and I will read them out loud! NO READING OVER MY SHOULDER."

"Aw, maaaaaaaan!"

"Will the dares involve corpse parties?" Aradia asked hopefully.

"I have no fucking idea how the hell those even work, but we'll see."

"AC raises her paw in the air and asks, 'Will the dares include ships?'"

"Purrobably." Nepeta perked up a little when the girl used the cat pun.

"Um, will the dares include s-sensitive topics?" Tavros stuttered.

The girl made a face as if she was trying not to go bananas at how CUTE Tavros was. "I'll be reading them first, so I'll skip the ones like that!"

"Y'know, sis," Gamzee drawled, walking up to her and putting and arm around her shoulders, "I don't think I've ever caught your motherfucking name."

The girl's faced flushed a little more red. "Well, I have many nicknames! I can't tell you my real name, or my friend's nickname for me. But I'm called Shazer, TailsDoll13, ShadowandMadonna, Deranged Shadow Fangirl, DSF, and more! But you can call me Shazer. I actually prefer to be called Shazer! I mean, it's not my real name, but it's still pretty badass, don't ya think? Aw fuck I'm rambling AGAIN." The girl hit her forehead a few times. "Gotta keep it under control!"

Karkat sighed. "Could we get fucking started?!"

"I agree with Karkat!" John exclaimed.

"Nobody asked you to agree with anything I say."

"C'mon, guys! Don't fight!" Jade pleaded.

"Yeah, I think it would be better not to," Dave agreed.

Karkat glared, but didn't say anything.

Rose hiccuped, holding a martini glass in one hand. "What're we duing gyz? *doing"

"Hmm..." Shazer frowned, scratching her chin. "Should I leave her like that, or make her sober just for this?"

"You can make her SOBER?!"

"Um, yeah! Hello! Magical badass author powers over here?" Shazer crossed her arms, and black sparkles flew from her fingertips.

"Magic ain't reel!" a certain someone scoffed.

"Eridan, please be nice to her! She seems like a REELLY great person!" Feferi pleaded.

"Aw, it's okay. I can actually get along better with that guy that most people I know." Karkat snorted. "Most people I know, except for my friends, are nothing but selfish douchebags who are too caught up with today's absolutely HORRID pop culture! I mean, the Twilight fans, the Bielebers, the Nicki Minaj groupies...I mean, what the actual FUCK is wrong with kids nowadays?!"

"Technically, are you not a kid yourself?" Kanaya prodded.

"Yeah, but, unlike them, I actually have a good taste in literature and music! But we're getting off track." She gestured to the door. "Come inside."

As everyone stepped inside, Shazer started speaking quickly. "I-knew-that-I-couldn't-arrange-the-rooms-by-ships -or-relationships-in-the-flushed-and-caliginous-qu adrants-so-you-guys-will-end-up-with-unlikely-comp anions-okay?"

Everyone blinked. Dave said, "What."

Shazer sighed. "Nepeta, Equius, Terezi, and John in one room. Karkat, Rose, Tavros, and Kanaya in another. Kanaya is only there to help out with Rose, otherwise I'd have bunked her with someone else. Gamzee, Eridan, Jade, and Aradia in one. Sollux, Dave, Feferi, and Vriska in another. Wait a sec..." She tapped a finger on her temple, then sighed. "I can't switch Sollux or Feferi out without jacking everything up. Just don't do anything funny, or you'll be isolated. Okay?"

Everyone nodded, even though Eridan looked a little huffy at the last few sentences. Then Shazer grabbed his scarf, pulling him towards her, leaned forward, and whispered something in his ear, then pulled away. He actually smiled a little, though it disappeared when he saw everyone staring. "Wwater YOU looking at?!" he demanded.

"Honestly, guys, it's none of your beeswax what I said."

Everyone shrugged, but they still seemed curious.

"The rooms available are the guest room, which is also my baby brother's room, the toy room, my other brother's room, and my OTHER brother's room."

"Just how many brothers do you have?!" John exclaimed.

"Three younger brothers. Two are absolute angels, the other is a real pain in the ass."

"Are they here?"

"Nope. It's just us! My parents aren't here either."

"Whr are dey?" Rose nearly dropped the glass, but caught herself just in time.

Shazer grinned evilly, they laughed as the Homestuck characters backed away with looks of fear. Except for Vriska. "Actually, I convinced them to take a little vacation. Now, the rules."

Everyone groaned. Shazer didn't notice-or, if she did, she didn't point it out.

"First off, the attic, storage room, my parents' bedroom, my room, and the garage are off-limits, unless if you have explicit permission from me, and ONLY me. The punishment...Well, the forms of torture range from stepping on a LEGO with bare feet to listening to a Justin Bieber song on repeat 413 times."

Sollux scoffed. "What'th tho bad about thepping on one of your shitty human toyth?"

John put a hand on his shoulder. "Sollux, believe me, you do not WANT to know the pain."

"Second, the punishments previously mentioned will also be used if you refuse to do a Truth or Dare."

"Anyfin else?" Feferi asked.

"Hmm...no killing each other," Shazer added, noticing how Nepeta glared at Gamzee. "Also, no bringing up sensitive topics, we don't have that many tissues. Also, don't jack up the house. One vase broken, and you're gonna wish you were in a dream bubble."

"Awwwwwwww!" a certain spiderbitch complained.

"And that's it!"

"Seems easy enough," Jade said.

A glimmer appeared in Shazer's eyes-an evil one, at that. "Oh, but you haven't been asked the truths or gotten any dares yet." She smirked villainously and didn't say more.

RULES:

1. Six truths and dares per review, or this will get too fucked up.

2. NO BUCKETS! Sloppy makeouts is the limit.

3. NO KILLING! Only strifes.

4. Torture everyone as much as you want! Just not too many dares that make Karkat do ridiculous things. I'm sorry, I've just seen too many.

Deranged Shadow Fangirl